re: Settle this marriage/ parenting dispute

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Man, you know you are right but this is the perfect example of something not worth the fight. Just clean it up and save the capital for something worth arguing over.

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The problem is that he feels disrespected and devalued as a person who is just returning home from work. His wife, being on the couch with shite still on the floor, doesn't sit well with him either.

A conversation is warranted, but not until the emotions have left the house.

I'm sure she has her reasons, and I am sure he has his. At the end of this, he will need to decide, "Does he want to be right? Or does he want to be married?" And I am not suggesting he leave her over this, but I would bet that they both do things to one another that they are most unlikely aware of. It happens without many knowing it happened. I was guilty of this when I was married.

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We’re going to have a grown up discussion about expectations and responsibilities. Everyone has them and we’re all part of the same family.

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You think she doesn’t know what her expectations and responsibilities are? She knows she should have cleaned the shite up. She was mentally done in that moment. That happens when you are home with kids all day messing things up while you try to put things back together and keep them entertained. She probably had little adult interaction all day. It’s draining.

You can be “right” and give her some lecture about expectations and responsibilities that she already knows. OR, you can have empathy, give her grace and have a happy marriage. Part of your expectations and responsibility is to support her emotional well being.

She is right.
She’s been home all day dealing with it and gets paid $0.00 for the hardest job in the world. Your job as soon as you walk through the door is to tell her to clock out and then you’re on duty for the rest of the day. She can go bathe, run errands, gym, get in bed, whatever she wants to do.

Happy wife happy life.

A mothers' job is the hardest in the world.





One of the most BS lines in the world.

If she can't clean up kids poop and throw up, she shouldn't have kids.

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Nap at 12
He sleeps till 4

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Your 3 year sleeps to 7:30 am then takes a 4 hour nap at noon? Take him to the doctor.

She isn’t being fair or rational here. It happens. Be the better person and take care of it.

But if it happens too frequently you will need to take a stand or else it’ll get worse.

And it may be that she’s not cut out for long term stay at home, most modern American women are not.

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She is right. She’s been home all day dealing with it and gets paid $0.00 for the hardest job in the world. Your job as soon as you walk through the door is to tell her to clock out and then you’re on duty for the rest of the day. She can go bathe, run errands, gym, get in bed, whatever she wants to do. Happy wife happy life.

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The ole ball and chain ain’t happy unless I got something to do

OP’s wife should have cleaned up the mess. A better scenario would be this:

Mom gets frustrated, calls dad. “Where are you”/lashing out probably unwarranted, but that’s the frustration of staying home with kids all day coming out. Dad now has signal that it’s been a tough day. Mom cleans the shite up because it’s disgusting to leave it on the ground. Mom finishes getting kids fed and ready for bed. Dad walks in and immediately tells mom “I’m taking over, I’ve got bedtime, go do whatever you want to do.”

The end.

The leaving shite on the floor provokes a defensive reaction from dad who has been working all day and didn’t do anything wrong. The defensive possibly sarcastic reaction to that from dad doesn’t help things. Everything spirals into a dumb argument that wouldn’t have happened if the shite had just been cleaned up like it should have been. I am well qualified to have an opinion, as I’m in essentially the exact same situation.