re: Relapse sucks man

Think of yourself like those old pocket pilot personal digital assistants. When they got fricked up, you simply inserted a stylus in a hole and rebooted it.

Stick something up your arse and think of it as a reset button. Be reborn and try again.

You are both sick and hurting, Cregg. We all do that. The wonderful post and expressions of love in this thread would not exist but for your honesty. That is pure gold.

I won't tell you to get Jesus, as I oft do tell folk who are in over their head. That is not an easy thing, though it is, in fact. But I will say that if you choose to believe that you are going to live eternally so, and that this life, is just one life, which goes by very quickly once you've lived it, then you will find a particular kind of optimistic feeling in just the belief of that idea. If you believe that you have forever to overcome and move up, truly believe that, then you perspective and feelings will radically change. And the saying that "it's not where you are on the road, buy which way you are moving that counts", holds true.

Some of my worst days are burying my dogs. I was at a point at age 23 when even alcohol or heroin was useless for me. I was on the edge of leaving this life, with at least the dignity of my own willful exit. I called on Jesus, and made a deal, just to do my honest best. That is all any of us can offer. You loved your Dad, and bore that tragic scenario. And your dog as well. Focus on your love; not to be loved, but to willfully choose to love that which is around you. That belief, will change your feeling. And feeling is the whole game.

I remember the actor Jon Voight (Angelina Jolie's Dad) say that he was so down and suffering and on the verge of collapse...and he cried out to God that "it was so hard". And he immediately heard a 'real' voice that said..."it's supposed to be". Dude is still making hay on that scene.

I pray that Jesus answers your 'prayer'. And wish you the best. You are indeed a person who bears both the great burdens and the great hopes and rewards of those who labor in their love. But do NOT expect it ALL to happen in just this life. We are in this thing FOREVER. Believe that, and watch how your feelings change.

God speed, good luck, and love to you and yours.

Awesome post.

Embrace the cactus, brother.

Sobriety doesn't commonly take the first time. Get back to what works. Just as addiction is a lifestyle, sobriety is a "one day at at time", every day fight.

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Sobriety doesn't commonly take the first time. Get back to what works. Just as addiction is a lifestyle, sobriety is a "one day at at time", every day fight.

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This is a fact. But its still hard for people around you. They see it and get so happy and then disappointed again. Its rough.

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How you feeling this morning??

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I'm alright. Hitting up a meeting after work. Haven't broke the news to my Paw Paw yet and really not looking forward to it.

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Haven't broke the news to my Paw Paw yet and really not looking forward to it.

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Its not easy, but own it and move forward. He will appreciate the honesty.

Worst part of addiction for those around you are the lies. They HATE the lies. They can handle the addiction and can help, but dont want to be lied too.

The fact your holding self accountable is a signal you
can be successful in this. Get up and show up
I wish you total and complete success today and tomorrow

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Sober. I’m on 15 months but I made the choice for me. It’s fricking hard…..

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Congrats Peej and also to the OP. Getting back on the wagon is very hard to do. GETTING sober is extremely tough but please know that with time, STAYING sober gets much easier. You just have to get there, even just by living one day at a time.

All the cliches associated to AA are kinda aggravating, but the two that stick out to me are the “one day at a time” and to “play the tape all the way through”. Before you pick up a drink, at least force yourself to recognize that this is going to end badly. One drink is too many and 100 will not be enough. You know this. You’ve proven this to yourself 100’s of times.

Stay sober TODAY and the rest will come with time.