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re: Parenting question
Posted on 10/6/20 at 9:54 am to mikelbr
Posted on 10/6/20 at 9:54 am to mikelbr
quote:Yep. My oldest is the best kid I could have asked for. Perfect student, VERY responsible, has a part time job, honors kid, involved in school, and isn't a ho so I don't have to really check up on her. The 13 year old scares me to death which is why she can't do shite on her phone and wont until she is paying the damn bill. Plus she rarely has the phone since she is always getting in trouble for not studying and making terrible grades. She mentally exhaust me.
They all make good grades and aren't getting in trouble outside of school. No reason to. Yet.
0
Posted on 10/6/20 at 9:55 am to Gaston
quote:
All of my son.’s friends have the tracer apps where parents can tell where they are...it’s funny when we go into my son’s room and there are three phones on his desk and no kids around.
Good for those kids. Outsmart these geezer know-it-alls. I would have been a miserable little frick had my parents been tracking me and monitoring my communications and content at all times. You don’t raise productive, intelligent, and independent people with surveillance and censorship.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 9:55 am to fallguy_1978
quote:Use an old iphone to hook up to internet so she can imessage you.
My issue is that we don't have a home phone and my daughter is old enough to stay home by herself some.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 10:23 am to Rex Feral
quote:Sounds like he needs to learn how to delete texts he doesn't want his parents to see.
EDIT: My son knows we look through his phone. He agreed to it when we gave it to him.
You're situation is a tough one. Unless there's abuse involved or you're close with that girl's parents, it might be best to stay out of it because of the negative backlash you may bring upon your own son. Being labeled a snitch, losing friends and/or losing trust among peers, etc.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 10:27 am to tigafan4life
quote:
Use an old iphone to hook up to internet so she can imessage you.
We did this for awhile.
That cat is out of the bag now though. My daughter is a pretty good kid. She makes good grades and is fairly responsible.
She's a teenager now though and we'll see if that remains true. If she's 1/4 as bad as I was this is going to be a long few years.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 10:29 am to Rex Feral
Unless a kid is actively talking about being sex traffic'd or committing suicide, I would not in a million years approach their parents based on text messages.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 10:43 am to The Spleen
quote:
but I just haven't seen any evidence to support the notion that sex among 13-14 year olds is rampant.
Perhaps they’re not sexually actively yet. Like in OP, she’s just talking about banging older guys. Nothing happening yet.
But I worry more about what is being normalized for kids at that age. Kids who are just starting to discover their bodies as they go through puberty. They’re being inundated with social media material that rewards girls for twerking, dancing lewdly to songs like WAP, and portraying not only a sexually active lifestyle but one that is empowered by promiscuity.
Look, I’m not wanting to be an old prude who shakes my fist at kids these days. But it’s not hard to see what they’re being exposed to, and I don’t think it’s far fetched to say that kids that age are too young to comprehend that material in a healthy way.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 10:55 am to sgallo3
quote:
If not life or limb I would stay out of it
this. frick getting involved with that
What? The girl is 13..14? Not in her 20s. Absolutely be an adult and advise her parents. I think this falls into the life part of life or limb.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 12:06 pm to SpqrTiger
quote:
But I would also have a conversation with your son about not being the sounding board for girls when they have problems with their boyfriends. Your son should value himself higher than that.
Absolutely. "You are not one of her girlfriends. That's what THEY'RE for".
Posted on 10/6/20 at 1:46 pm to mikelbr
quote:
ETA: I don't go through my kids' phones at all. They all make good grades and aren't getting in trouble outside of school. No reason to. Yet
All of these kids are great kids, honor roll students with straight A's, come from traditional families with both parents actively involved. Don't let yourself be fooled. These are different times from when we grew up. Children always need boundaries and checking their messages, apps, etc. is just another type of boundary.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 2:08 pm to Rex Feral
quote:As in, rape older? Or as in, a freshman having sex with a junior/senior older?
having sex with older guys
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