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Started By
Message
Parenting question
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:27 am
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:27 am
I was looking through my high school freshman son's phone last night and found some messages between him and a friend of his. The friend is a freshman, too, and she was talking about having sex with older guys. I assume high school, but I'm not sure. I don't know if she's serious or just talking herself up.
I know her parents wouldn't be okay with what she's talking about, whether it's actually happening or not.
Should I show the message to her parents? Personally, I'd want someone to tell me if they saw my daughter talking like that to her friends.
EDIT: My son knows we look through his phone. He agreed to it when we gave it to him.
I know her parents wouldn't be okay with what she's talking about, whether it's actually happening or not.
Should I show the message to her parents? Personally, I'd want someone to tell me if they saw my daughter talking like that to her friends.
EDIT: My son knows we look through his phone. He agreed to it when we gave it to him.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:32 am
35
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:28 am to Rex Feral
If not life or limb I would stay out of it. Also... snooping through your kid’s phone is a slippery slope.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:30 am to Rex Feral
Does your son know you were going through his phone? If so, talk to him about it.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:31 am to Rex Feral
Oh geez, the best you can do is talk to your son about it. Make sure she’s not into something abusive.
My son is the same age...why on earth does your kid use messages? It’s all snaps for my boy, nothing on record. He and his gf have been dating a while...no telling what they snap to each other. She lives 45 minutes away, so that’s pretty much their only communication besides FaceTime.
My son is the same age...why on earth does your kid use messages? It’s all snaps for my boy, nothing on record. He and his gf have been dating a while...no telling what they snap to each other. She lives 45 minutes away, so that’s pretty much their only communication besides FaceTime.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:32 am
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:33 am to Rex Feral
Just tell the boy that some girls you need to double wrap for. This is one of those girls.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:33 am to Rex Feral
Your son is probably just consoling the girl and telling her how much of an empowered woman she is
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am to Rex Feral
quote:
I know her parents wouldn't be okay with what she's talking about, whether it's actually happening or not.
Should I show the message to her parents? Personally, I'd want someone to tell me if they saw my daughter talking like that to her friends.
First, you have made the decision to monitor your kids messages, which is totally fine in my opinion at that age.
However, you need to use it to help you in educating YOUR kid on what you read, not let him/her know you are reading it. You do NOT have a place in the friend's life by reading those messages. It is NOT your place and you will lose all trust from your son and he will just take extra steps to hide his life moving forward.
Again, if you monitor YOUR kids activity, unless its life or death type situations, use the information to guide you in your conversations and parenting.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:57 am
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am to CaptainJ47
quote:
If not life or limb I would stay out of it
this. frick getting involved with that
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:35 am to Rex Feral
None of your business.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:36 am to Rex Feral
How well you know the girls parents? I mean if they’re friends then definitely. Also if they’re trash they might not care.
Girl is what, 14? I mean I would want to know. I have an 11 year old daughter
Girl is what, 14? I mean I would want to know. I have an 11 year old daughter
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:38 am to Rex Feral
quote:
Does your son know you were going through his phone? If so, talk to him about it.
this...or if he doenst, dont say a word
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:38 am to Rex Feral
As a parent, I say absolutely as long as you approach the situation in a respectful manner.
If I wasn’t a parent, I’d say stay out of it.
You’re a parent. Deep down, you know the right answer here.
If I wasn’t a parent, I’d say stay out of it.
You’re a parent. Deep down, you know the right answer here.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:40 am to Rex Feral
Why is some chick talking to your son about possibly banging another guy?
Is he permanently in the friend zone?
Is he permanently in the friend zone?
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:41 am to Rex Feral
it would depend on how well I knew the parents, honestly
without knowing the parents, bringing this up could go either way with them
without knowing the parents, bringing this up could go either way with them
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:42 am to Rex Feral
My son is 20 now but back in 2016 during the election he was being “bullied” for being pro-Trump. A friend of a friend had a daughter that knew my son and he regularly checked her phone. He saw some of the crap being sent to my son from other kids and let me know. I was extremely thankful for the heads up as it allowed me to address it. I have 5 kids and I’d be appreciative of being made aware.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:43 am to Rex Feral
Congrats on the grand kid!
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:44 am to Rex Feral
Nah. Stay out of it.
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to Rex Feral
Ugh THE PATRIARCHY
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to Rex Feral
There’s a chance 1) she gets into trouble and your son gets embarrassed as a result 2) your son will ultimately be more deceptive because the last time dad found out...
I think it’s cool to talk to your son about it but try not to embarrass him
I think it’s cool to talk to your son about it but try not to embarrass him
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to Rex Feral
If you’re close with the other parents then you can probably breach that subject. Otherwise I wouldn’t.
What’s most important at this point is to sit down and have a real/frank conversation with your son about sex, what to do for protection, consent, etc. if you haven’t already.
What’s most important at this point is to sit down and have a real/frank conversation with your son about sex, what to do for protection, consent, etc. if you haven’t already.
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