Started By
Message

Parenting question

Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:27 am
Posted by Rex Feral
Member since Jan 2014
11225 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:27 am
I was looking through my high school freshman son's phone last night and found some messages between him and a friend of his. The friend is a freshman, too, and she was talking about having sex with older guys. I assume high school, but I'm not sure. I don't know if she's serious or just talking herself up.

I know her parents wouldn't be okay with what she's talking about, whether it's actually happening or not.

Should I show the message to her parents? Personally, I'd want someone to tell me if they saw my daughter talking like that to her friends.

EDIT: My son knows we look through his phone. He agreed to it when we gave it to him.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:32 am
Posted by CaptainJ47
Gonzales
Member since Nov 2007
7331 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:28 am to
If not life or limb I would stay out of it. Also... snooping through your kid’s phone is a slippery slope.
Posted by Oilfieldbiology
Member since Nov 2016
37383 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:30 am to
Does your son know you were going through his phone? If so, talk to him about it.
Posted by Gaston
Dirty Coast
Member since Aug 2008
38902 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:31 am to
Oh geez, the best you can do is talk to your son about it. Make sure she’s not into something abusive.

My son is the same age...why on earth does your kid use messages? It’s all snaps for my boy, nothing on record. He and his gf have been dating a while...no telling what they snap to each other. She lives 45 minutes away, so that’s pretty much their only communication besides FaceTime.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:32 am
Posted by Rouge
Floston Paradise
Member since Oct 2004
136770 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:33 am to
Just tell the boy that some girls you need to double wrap for. This is one of those girls.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am
Posted by el Gaucho
He/They
Member since Dec 2010
52886 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:33 am to
Your son is probably just consoling the girl and telling her how much of an empowered woman she is
Posted by IT_Dawg
Georgia
Member since Oct 2012
21690 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am to
quote:

I know her parents wouldn't be okay with what she's talking about, whether it's actually happening or not.

Should I show the message to her parents? Personally, I'd want someone to tell me if they saw my daughter talking like that to her friends.



First, you have made the decision to monitor your kids messages, which is totally fine in my opinion at that age.
However, you need to use it to help you in educating YOUR kid on what you read, not let him/her know you are reading it. You do NOT have a place in the friend's life by reading those messages. It is NOT your place and you will lose all trust from your son and he will just take extra steps to hide his life moving forward.
Again, if you monitor YOUR kids activity, unless its life or death type situations, use the information to guide you in your conversations and parenting.
This post was edited on 10/6/20 at 7:57 am
Posted by sgallo3
Dorne
Member since Sep 2008
24747 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:34 am to
quote:

If not life or limb I would stay out of it


this. frick getting involved with that
Posted by Sugarbuggies
North Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
240 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:35 am to
None of your business.
Posted by BeerMoney
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2012
8359 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:36 am to
How well you know the girls parents? I mean if they’re friends then definitely. Also if they’re trash they might not care.

Girl is what, 14? I mean I would want to know. I have an 11 year old daughter
Posted by DomincDecoco
of no fixed abode
Member since Oct 2018
10819 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:38 am to
quote:

Does your son know you were going through his phone? If so, talk to him about it.


this...or if he doenst, dont say a word
Posted by TDsngumbo
Alpha Silverfox
Member since Oct 2011
41477 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:38 am to
As a parent, I say absolutely as long as you approach the situation in a respectful manner.

If I wasn’t a parent, I’d say stay out of it.


You’re a parent. Deep down, you know the right answer here.
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34506 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:40 am to
Why is some chick talking to your son about possibly banging another guy?


Is he permanently in the friend zone?
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83510 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:41 am to
it would depend on how well I knew the parents, honestly

without knowing the parents, bringing this up could go either way with them

Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5147 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:42 am to
My son is 20 now but back in 2016 during the election he was being “bullied” for being pro-Trump. A friend of a friend had a daughter that knew my son and he regularly checked her phone. He saw some of the crap being sent to my son from other kids and let me know. I was extremely thankful for the heads up as it allowed me to address it. I have 5 kids and I’d be appreciative of being made aware.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
102937 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:43 am to
Congrats on the grand kid!
Posted by diddlydawg7
2x Best Poster Elite 8 (2x Sweet 16
Member since Oct 2017
27477 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:44 am to
Nah. Stay out of it.
Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to
Ugh THE PATRIARCHY
Posted by RIPMachoMan
Member since Jun 2011
5926 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to
There’s a chance 1) she gets into trouble and your son gets embarrassed as a result 2) your son will ultimately be more deceptive because the last time dad found out...

I think it’s cool to talk to your son about it but try not to embarrass him
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
98814 posts
Posted on 10/6/20 at 7:46 am to
If you’re close with the other parents then you can probably breach that subject. Otherwise I wouldn’t.

What’s most important at this point is to sit down and have a real/frank conversation with your son about sex, what to do for protection, consent, etc. if you haven’t already.
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 4Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram