Oldie but goodie - Gilbert Gottfried joke

A man walks into a bar and starts drinking. He gets so drunk he pukes all over his shirt. He goes to the bartender and says "I'm in trouble. I'm not supposed to be drinking, my wife will kill me." The bartender says here's what you do, "Put a $10 bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife a drunk guy puked on you and gave you $10 to have it cleaned." The man says great I'll try that...

When he gets home his wife angrily confronts him about the puke on his shirt. He pulls the bill out of his pocket and says "see honey, Im not drunk. Another man puked on my shirt and gave me $10 to have it cleaned." The wife says "but that's a $20 bill." The man pauses then says, "Oh yea I forgot to tell you, he also shite in my pants"!