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re: O-T Parents of Teens: do you check your kids’ phones?

Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:17 am to
Posted by Cump11b
Member since Sep 2018
2026 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:17 am to
quote:

I’ve never checked her phone. When she got it, part of the deal was that she’d hand it over if I asked for it. I’ve never exercised that, though.


Check her shite... not her BFF texts but to ensure she isn't being texted by some 40 year old turd
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
15790 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:17 am to
quote:

Test it if you don't believe us... Ask for her phone. Recognize the immediate reaction and see if there is hesitation and defiance. You'll see clearly after that, Mom-Friend.

Thats the first clue

Unless she knows that she has everything well hidden

Wish we had all boys.
This post was edited on 12/12/18 at 8:18 am
Posted by MissyTiger
Member since Nov 2018
538 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:18 am to
quote:

I feel like this is an alter


What does that even mean? Like an alter ego? Sorry. My life is not that exciting.
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
15790 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:20 am to
quote:

My life is not that exciting.


Thats the way i like to keep it as well but the 15 year old daughter is testing that I believe you may have a good one though. Our oldest Daughter is similar to yours. thank Goodness.
This post was edited on 12/12/18 at 8:21 am
Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5432 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:21 am to
In my opinion, kids, no matter how well behaved, should have no, or very little, expectation of privacy. I go through my oldest two kids phones a couple times a month.

Here’s a story if you’re 2nd guessing: buddy of mine has a 14 yo girl. Good kid, good student, active in sports and extracurricular activities at a good school. Buddy’s wife went through her phone on a whim and found nudes she sent to some little boy. Prior to, they prescribed to the, “they’re entitled to privacy” policy, now they don’t.

Another buddy found out his son was getting bullied by older kids at school, which was effecting his grades.

Posted by Columbia
Land of the Yuppies
Member since Mar 2016
3214 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:22 am to
I would continue to check it. I went to a meeting the other day on child trafficking. Even the smartest of kids can be targeted through social media. There’s some pretty sick shite going on today that for some reason is not talked about enough. Even trafficking laws are sketchy.
Posted by oleyeller
Vols, Bitch
Member since Oct 2012
32596 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:22 am to
quote:

respecting your teens’ privacy


ill respect it when they are adults, living under their own roof
Posted by Geecubed
The Eventual St. George
Member since Apr 2011
425 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:22 am to
My daughter is 15 as well, with a drama-filled life created by her. My wife and I installed an app that costs $35 a year on her phone, so we can have access to everything on her phone from my wife's phone. Not sure of the name of the app, but my wife loves it. And we can curb the stupid shite with my daughter before she has a chance to screw up.

I sometimes look through the app with my wife, and have to tell her to step back from the cliff. Some of the battles aren't worth fighting.
Posted by FLObserver
Jacksonville
Member since Nov 2005
15790 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:24 am to
quote:

Buddy’s wife went through her phone on a whim and found nudes she sent to some little boy. Prior to, they prescribed to the, “they’re entitled to privacy” policy, now they don’t. Another buddy found out his son was getting bullied by older kids at school, which was effecting his grades.


Boys will use those nudes to manipulate the girls to do what ever they want and if they dont they will say they will send photos to everyone. For all the good phones were at the beginning having these camera's on them has turned them into entirely something else.
Posted by Kige Ramsey
1996,1998,2012.
Member since Jul 2007
44438 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:27 am to
quote:


My daughter is 15, and life is full of constant drama


Sounds like a typical teenage girl this is why I hope I never have a daughter
Posted by mmmmmbeeer
ATL
Member since Nov 2014
9746 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:30 am to
Kids are more tech savvy than many of their parents. While it's always good to do phone checks, they're essentially pointless unless you have a really, really careless child. There are all kinds of apps used to hide photos, conversations, and other personal data on phones that we, as parents, will never find. Even worse (or maybe better?), things like Snapchat which, with its auto-delete feature, almost encourages doing/saying things without fear of consequence.

As someone else earlier mentioned, you're going to have a lot more success just being real with your kids through good communication. Speak of consequences, dangers, and the importance of good decision-making. When my son leaves the house to go somewhere I find maybe a bit sketchy, I don't tell him to "have fun" or "be careful"....I tell him to "make good decisions".

It's a balancing act these days with technology and, truth is, 99% of us are just winging it when trying to protect our teens from what happens online. Just do the best you can, I guess.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
148031 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:30 am to
I hope you never have neither a daughter or son but for different reasons.

Posted by mmmmmbeeer
ATL
Member since Nov 2014
9746 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 8:33 am to
quote:

Boys will use those nudes to manipulate the girls to do what ever they want and if they dont they will say they will send photos to everyone


My daughter had a boy solicit pictures from her. She declined. This little frick turned around and said he was going to find a random pic on the web, send it around the school, and say it was her body. He didn't, but that's the kind of shite kids are dealing with these days. Ridiculous.
Posted by momentoftruth87
Your mom
Member since Oct 2013
86110 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:06 am to
quote:

My daughter had a boy solicit pictures from her. She declined. This little frick turned around and said he was going to find a random pic on the web, send it around the school, and say it was her body. He didn't, but that's the kind of shite kids are dealing with these days. Ridiculous.


I'd be showing up at little Johnny's house to have a chat with him & his parents if this ever happened.
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
36716 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:17 am to
quote:

As someone else earlier mentioned, you're going to have a lot more success just being real with your kids through good communication. Speak of consequences, dangers, and the importance of good decision-making. When my son leaves the house to go somewhere I find maybe a bit sketchy, I don't tell him to "have fun" or "be careful"....I tell him to "make good decisions".

It's a balancing act these days with technology and, truth is, 99% of us are just winging it when trying to protect our teens from what happens online. Just do the best you can, I guess.



If you raise your kids right, this is the answer. The sneakiest people I know are the ones that had to (gasp) be the sneakiest around their parents.
This post was edited on 12/12/18 at 9:18 am
Posted by mmmmmbeeer
ATL
Member since Nov 2014
9746 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:21 am to
quote:

I'd be showing up at little Johnny's house to have a chat with him & his parents if this ever happened.


Little Johnny has no parental figure in the home unless you count his whore of a mother who kicks him out at night when a "massage client" randomly shows up at 11pm for his appointment. Little Johnny was expelled from school a couple of weeks ago. Classy kid. Classy family. What kind of response do you think I would've gotten if I'd showed up on their doorstep? Better to just handle it in-house and monitor the situation.
Posted by JOJO Hammer
Member since Nov 2010
12325 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:22 am to
It’s not her phone it is my phone. She is just borrowing it for a while.
Posted by momentoftruth87
Your mom
Member since Oct 2013
86110 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:25 am to
quote:


Little Johnny has no parental figure in the home unless you count his whore of a mother who kicks him out at night when a "massage client" randomly shows up at 11pm for his appointment. Little Johnny was expelled from school a couple of weeks ago. Classy kid. Classy family. What kind of response do you think I would've gotten if I'd showed up on their doorstep? Better to just handle it in-house and monitor the situation.


Yes handle it in house then and tell your daughter if she wants her future to be like his then continue, but let her know that she is better than that and can do better.

I was just saying that regardless of Johnny's situation it would get smashed very quickly and my daughter would not be talking to the kid anymore.

I honestly don't understand women when it comes to this. Another reason why our society is failing because we chose our partners ignorantly and it spirals out of control afterwards.

Best of luck with your daughter brother. Find her a nice young man with a future that was raised properly.
Posted by Kige Ramsey
1996,1998,2012.
Member since Jul 2007
44438 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:26 am to
quote:

I hope you never have neither a daughter or son but for different reasons


Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
48996 posts
Posted on 12/12/18 at 9:29 am to
quote:

My daughter is 15, and life is full of constant drama. She’s a good kid, but I do worry at times.

I’ve never checked her phone. When she got it, part of the deal was that she’d hand it over if I asked for it. I’ve never exercised that, though.



Thanks for posting this and making me feel good about something for once.
While my 13 yr old son is a fricktard (see the fortnite thread) who won't have a phone again for few more months, my 15 yr old daughter is the textbook golden child.
We snapchat daily and text about stupid shite or schedule stuff. I never have the itch to check her phone or app history b/c she's a straight-A student in AP classes(she may have a B in honors chemistry right now), all-state choir as a sophomore, no boy nor girl drama.

However, my two younger daughters will no doubt be drama filled nightmares within 5 yrs with one ending up pregnant in high school i'm sure.

TLDR I don't check my oldest's phone but my 3 younger children most fricking definitely.

So I'm blessed... for now.
This post was edited on 12/12/18 at 9:36 am
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