re: My female coworker makes eye contact with me every time she walks by my office.

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Make the duck lips next time. Or better yet try this:

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I worked with an older guy who gave zero fricks and used to tell this younger girl ‘if you don’t use that thing, it’s gonna smooth over”. This was in a professional setting about 20 years ago.

I remember years ago I had a manager who was the living personification of Ron Burgundy from Anchorman. He even looked like him. Early one morning I was sitting in his office and this woman walked by. As she did so she said “Good morning, Tom”. Never slowed down, just said it as she walked by heading to her office. As soon as she was out of earshot, Tom leaned over his desk and said… and this is a direct quote of his exact words… “every morning when she walks by my office she tells me “good morning”. I know she wants me… sexually”. He even paused between “me” and “sexually”. It was embarrassing when he said this. It’s embarrassing you’re emulating him now.

And by the way, this say guy later in the middle of a meeting with the team suddenly declared he had something he had to get off his chest. That’s when he straight-faced serious said… again a direct quote… “I struggle with addiction to internet pornography”. The level of cringe and second-hand embarrassment in the room was only surpassed by the length of uncomfortable stunned silence.

Needless to say he was soon fired for sexual and racial harassment. But that’s a whole other story.

Its that weird mole you have, Mr. Neville.

Is she smiling or does she have a worried look on her face. This is a critical detail.

She’s chumming for the harassment lotto jackpot.

Sounds like you're making eye contact with her.

Close your door.

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We’ll, we’re on Tigerdroppings OT. We have time. Pray tell.

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I didn't do it, okay? I was set up

U ripe for some peggin, baw.

Pucker up.

She knows you have the ghey

I’m married so I know at least one woman was / is attracted to me.

Lots of losers in this thread who are mad their female coworkers never look at them lol.