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Message
re: Mother-in-law in delivery room
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:16 am to LSUBoo
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:16 am to LSUBoo
quote:
No one disagrees with this. It's the two spouses that are disagreeing.
All it comes down is who is it more important for to be in the room, new dad or MIL?
This post was edited on 2/27/18 at 8:17 am
1
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:17 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
All it comes down is who is more important for to be in the room, new dad or MIL?
And if the wife insists that she wants both there?
ETA: Presumably she wants both because the OP said "with us"... if she doesn't want the baby's father present, there are probably bigger issues.
This post was edited on 2/27/18 at 8:21 am
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:17 am to SMACKYtheFROG
Depends on the mother in law.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:51 am to LSUBoo
At this point boo he is just pulling a lunchbox and arguing just to argue.
Comes off as a very narrow minded spouse that isn’t able to be selfless in order to please the woman carrying his child.
Comes off as a very narrow minded spouse that isn’t able to be selfless in order to please the woman carrying his child.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:54 am to lsunurse
quote:
At this point boo he is just pulling a lunchbox and arguing just to argue.
Comes off as a very narrow minded spouse that isn’t able to be selfless in order to please the woman carrying his child.
Yea, having an opinion other than do whatever the woman wants is so narrow-minded.Posted on 2/27/18 at 8:59 am to LNCHBOX
Again....SHE IS THE ONE HAVING THE BABY
This isn’t about feminism or slamming men. It’s her body and she is the one having the baby....plain and simple.
How hard is it to grasp that in this situation...she gets ultimate say and her decision should be respected? It doesn’t have to be a slam against the marriage if she wants her mom there. It doesn’t mean she has issues or doesn’t respect you or whatever you have in your head against it. It just means she wants her mom there, for whatever reason.
This isn’t about feminism or slamming men. It’s her body and she is the one having the baby....plain and simple.
How hard is it to grasp that in this situation...she gets ultimate say and her decision should be respected? It doesn’t have to be a slam against the marriage if she wants her mom there. It doesn’t mean she has issues or doesn’t respect you or whatever you have in your head against it. It just means she wants her mom there, for whatever reason.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:01 am to lsunurse
quote:
Again....SHE IS THE ONE HAVING THE BABY
And that has shite to do with having her mom there.
quote:
This isn’t about feminism or slamming men.
Another thing I never said.
quote:
How hard is it to grasp that in this situation...she gets ultimate say and her decision should be respected?
Because I don't agree with it.
quote:
It doesn’t have to be a slam against the marriage if she wants her mom there.
If she forces it when her husband is against it, it absolutely is a marital issue. Cut the chord from your mom already.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:02 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
Yea, having an opinion other than do whatever the woman wants is so narrow-minded.
But your argument is ruined by your failure to be objective unless you are being 1950s era misogynistic. You are basically saying your wishes are to be followed and hers are irrelevant because you feel differently.
The case of the op is that the father doesn't want the mil in the room, but the mom does. You keep mentioning the desire of the mil, but that is irrelevant. If the husband and he wife disagree about the presence of the mil, and both feel strongly, the mil will likely be in the room because it is what the mom to be wants.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:03 am to LNCHBOX
quote:I agree with this, but the mom is still going to be in there.
If she forces it when her husband is against it, it absolutely is a marital issue.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:04 am to Displaced
quote:
You are basically saying your wishes are to be followed and hers are irrelevant because you feel differently.
I'm not though. One option involves the people that need to be there. The other option involves an extra person that one of the necessary people doesn't want there. In that situation, I choose only having the two necessary people involved, and that wold be my decision if it want to my benefit.
quote:
t. If the husband and he wife disagree about the presence of the mil, and both feel strongly, the mil will likely be in the room because it is what the mom to be wants.
And that is a poor decision for a healthy marriage. You've said it yourself
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:05 am to LNCHBOX
quote:technically, you don't need to be there. You are only there for support.
One option involves the people that need to be there.
This post was edited on 2/27/18 at 9:06 am
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:06 am to Displaced
quote:
technically, you don't need to be there. You are on the there for support.
This is arguing to argue
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:07 am to LNCHBOX
Sorry....but you aren’t necessary for her having that baby. Baby is coming whether or not you are in the room.
Only person that “has” to be there...is her and the medical staff. Anyone else(including the father)....is optional.
Seeing as she is the only necessary person, she gets to decide who is there.
Only person that “has” to be there...is her and the medical staff. Anyone else(including the father)....is optional.
Seeing as she is the only necessary person, she gets to decide who is there.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:08 am to LNCHBOX
Maybe, but it dismantles the quoted stance pretty effectively.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:10 am to lsunurse
quote:
Sorry....but you aren’t necessary for her having that baby.
Then the MIL is extra not necessary.
quote:
y. Baby is coming whether or not you are in the room.
Same for MIL.
quote:
Seeing as she is the only necessary person, she gets to decide who is there.
And if she wants to have a good marriage, she should probably consider her husband and father of her child's opinion a little more.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:12 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
And if she wants to have a good marriage, she should probably consider her husband and father of her child's opinion a little more.
This is where I'm confused by your argument. Why is this a one way street where the mom has to submit to the opinion of the father?
Ignore the good marriage part, we agree there.
This post was edited on 2/27/18 at 9:13 am
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:12 am to LNCHBOX
I’m just very glad my husband is not as whiny as you.
I don’t want my mom there if I do have a child. But if I did he wouldn’t pitch a temper tantrum over it like you clearly would.
I don’t want my mom there if I do have a child. But if I did he wouldn’t pitch a temper tantrum over it like you clearly would.
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:14 am to lsunurse
quote:
I’m just very glad my husband is not as whiny as you.
And I'm glad my wife isn't preachy nag that invents arguments.
quote:
But if I did he wouldn’t pitch a temper tantrum over it like you clearly would.
Bless your husband for dealing with you. Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:15 am to LNCHBOX
quote:
invents arguments.
Isn’t that your entire M.O. on this site?
Posted on 2/27/18 at 9:15 am to Displaced
quote:
This is where I'm confused by your argument. Why is this a one way street where the mom has to submit to the opinion of the father?
It's not. I gave an example of it going the other way earlier in the thread from my own marriage. I'm not sure I can be any more clear.
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