re: Modern women have really lost their minds with financial dating standards

I have a kid on my baseball team

Great family. The dad is a doctor and fricked one of the nurses and knocked her up and now the family is divorcing

This next one is better

Married couple. Wife had cancer. Husband knocks up an 18 year old and now the couple is raising the mistress baby as one of their own while the wife is in remission

Shitheads all around up there and wouldn’t associate with any of them

Does this mean all men are bad?

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I think it’s THE conversation of our time, it supersedes sex, politics, race, religion, generational gaps, class, etc.

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Totally agree with the rest of your point but IDK specifically about this. I think a lot of this is a symptom of economics, not a driver.

The vast majority of men can't afford to bankroll an entire family on their own anymore like they could in the 50's and 60's. Women who want someone making $300k is a response to that, and some of it is just an exaggeration of something that has always been true (women wanting a rich husband isn't a new thing). But now since kids are "out of style" they just want to go to yoga and sit by the pool all day while the man works, not actually make a home.

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The whole problem is that women want all the opportunities that we have (they gave more) with zero accountability.

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Thats speaking in far too great absolutes and taking away ones own responsibility

That’s the same as what women say below

“Men are all Peter Pans now. They have no idea how to not sit inside and play video games all day and go out and start a real life.”

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Women will generally ( not always) take the best deal. Even if married as several posters mention. Men have to understand that they are mostly disposable if they don’t bring value and then operate henceforth with that knowledge.

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Id say that so casually concluding this is very similar to saying men that become successful then leave their OG wife for a younger bimbo

It happens from both sexes. Because both sexes have bad traits and shitty people.

It would be such a lie to say most of the divorces and bad relationships I know of are all because of the women or even majority because of the women. It’s such an equal dispersion

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d say that so casually concluding this is very similar to saying men that become successful then leave their OG wife for a younger bimbo

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Yep. Happens everyday.

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haven’t been laid in years and jerk off 3 hours a day and pretend they are self-actualizing down there in the basement.

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i cant wait until i retire.

dont threaten me with a good time!

I think the incel comes from people looking at sex and relationships as a commodity.

While I believe market analysis of dating prospects is a somewhat rational way to get some insight into a complex social dynamic, I think it’s a very flawed approach to strategizing as an individual. Typically, the outcome of such analysis is “if I get in better shape, improve my job, and dress better, I can increase my value.” While this is true, it ignores the most important factors which are personality, your ability to read potential interest, game, and how many opportunities you pursue.

What drives incels, in my opinion, is viewing relationships as a market, realizing that their market value is FAR below what they want, and then deciding that the amount of effort they would have to spend to achieve the value they demand is either unreasonable or impossible. So, they give up. The sad thing is, they’re usually not in as hopeless a situation as they perceive. They can fix their attitude and mindset for free, they can get better hygiene habits, and you don’t have to be in great shape to get more positive attention from women.

The sad reality is that expectations, or more the perception of expectations, has become insane ON DATING APPS. People need to get off the dating apps because they are inherently flawed by design and DO NOT WORK for most people’s needs. Most people want to find a fulfilling medium to long term relationship, and the apps are designed explicitly to prevent that. What they actually do is enable a very small percentage of men access to lots of casual sex, and a large percentage of women access to just enough attention to inflate their standards, but not enough of the right attention to result in stable long term relationships. They basically function by having women screen potential relationships partners via the metrics which they themselves would least use to evaluate pursuing a relationship in real life.

My advice to any incel is:
1. Workout a little. Doing a little is a huge improvement over doing nothing.

2. Groom yourself, use skin care products, put on deodorant, and wear clothes that fit. Try to educate yourself a little on style. There’s a lot of blogs and YouTube channels for this now. It’s insane what a difference this makes.

3. Get social hobbies that put you in the real world talking to human beings in person. A lot of nerdy hobbies still have a lot of women participating in them. The key is to do the hobby because you like it, not to pick up girls, and to treat women as human beings and as you would your bro. Don’t put them on a pedestal.

4. Approach a LOT of women so you can get numb to the pain of rejection and learn what works. The ones who will say yes will surprise you. What I find is that most guys have very poor actual ability to gauge a woman’s potential interest in them. Guys who lack self confidence only approach when they see a “sure thing”, but their evaluation of a “sure thing” is still wrong half of the time. Doing this, they actually miss TONS of women who are potentially interested that they never even attempt to approach. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and even the most man whore bros actually have a pretty high rejection rate. They just take A LOT more chances, and come across more confident because they don’t fear rejection.

One problem with modern dating is that men receive a lot of negative feedback that tells them where they stand in the dating scene. Average women do not. Below average women do, but average women get so much positive attention that they don’t develop standards that correlate with being “average”. They have no feedback mechanisms to tell them they’re “average”. They have the same access to sex and same chances of getting a guy to commit as the elite woman because they’re all being unknowingly haramed by the same small pool of dudes.

Short version:
Incels see their stock is bad. They decide the effort required to improve their stock isn’t worth the sacrifice.

A big problem with dating today is average men get lots of negative feedback to tell them where they stand in the market, but average women don’t. This is because dating apps suck and are designed to fail at helping people find lasting long term relationships. Only a small percentage of f$&k bois are actually getting what they want from dating apps.