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Posted on 8/20/24 at 8:10 pm to chinhoyang
Diarrhea cha cha cha
Posted on 8/20/24 at 8:10 pm to Kafka
Well, these guys were in a gay relationship. They called each their husbands. I did not ask for proof of the marriage.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 9:00 pm to chinhoyang
I'll share a couple of snippets of transcripts from sworn testimony. First, we have a gentleman being asked about an ex-wife:
Then we have a witness who was pretty unhappy with the questions he was being asked:
In this second one, maybe for the daily double, the lawyer asking the questions was also a politician. (That said, I think he's actually a decent guy.)
Then we have a witness who was pretty unhappy with the questions he was being asked:
In this second one, maybe for the daily double, the lawyer asking the questions was also a politician. (That said, I think he's actually a decent guy.)
Posted on 8/20/24 at 9:13 pm to chinhoyang
Here is one that comes to mind.
I haven’t handled contested domestic cases in over 25 years but I used to handle some when I got out of law school. This happened about 35 years ago.
There was a custody case where both parents were deadbeats and drug addicts (that is not the funny part) and both families were fighting over custody.
I was representing the grandparents and a friend of mine was representing another family member aligned on my side.
We were sitting in the hallway when the grandparents on the other side walked up to us and said “We are tired of this. Every time this case is set we have to waste time, take a day off of work, go through all the trouble of coming here and the case gets postponed. We are pissed”
We told them “Yes. We agree with you 100%. But this wasn’t our idea. You see that man up there in the black robe. That is the judge. It was his idea. If you don’t like it you should go tell him “
They said “Okay I think I will “
And they went up there and told the judge what was quoted above.
The judge was an old cantankerous grouch who was famous for his bad temper. He threw his pen down and said “I’m not listening to this $&@t “ and threw them out of the courtroom.
We were sitting in the back trying to surpress laughter.
Needless to say this episode didn’t score these people any brownie points with the judge.
I haven’t handled contested domestic cases in over 25 years but I used to handle some when I got out of law school. This happened about 35 years ago.
There was a custody case where both parents were deadbeats and drug addicts (that is not the funny part) and both families were fighting over custody.
I was representing the grandparents and a friend of mine was representing another family member aligned on my side.
We were sitting in the hallway when the grandparents on the other side walked up to us and said “We are tired of this. Every time this case is set we have to waste time, take a day off of work, go through all the trouble of coming here and the case gets postponed. We are pissed”
We told them “Yes. We agree with you 100%. But this wasn’t our idea. You see that man up there in the black robe. That is the judge. It was his idea. If you don’t like it you should go tell him “
They said “Okay I think I will “
And they went up there and told the judge what was quoted above.
The judge was an old cantankerous grouch who was famous for his bad temper. He threw his pen down and said “I’m not listening to this $&@t “ and threw them out of the courtroom.
We were sitting in the back trying to surpress laughter.
Needless to say this episode didn’t score these people any brownie points with the judge.
Posted on 8/20/24 at 9:13 pm to chinhoyang
2010 or 2011 - Eastern District of TX. Patent trial. Commil, an Israeli company, sues Cisco. Commil gets a verdict for $3.7M (low for a patent case).
Commil’s attorneys ask for a retrial on damages due to anti-Semitic remarks from a good ol local attorney for Cisco. (Sidebar- local attorneys for patent cases don’t usually know anything substantive about patent law. They’re there to establish rapport with the jury (e.g. voir dire).
Here’s the context:
Commil’s attorneys ask for a retrial on damages due to anti-Semitic remarks from a good ol local attorney for Cisco. (Sidebar- local attorneys for patent cases don’t usually know anything substantive about patent law. They’re there to establish rapport with the jury (e.g. voir dire).
Here’s the context:
quote:
The motion for a new trial states that Carroll described [Jonathan] David [who bought Commil's intellectual assets] as a greedy financial investor, who was Jewish by the way, who resided in Israel no less, and sought to take money from the manufacturer, Cisco, which employed thousands of people at its center in Texas. For example, in the closing argument, Carroll made a connection between the case and the trial of Jesus before Pontius Pilate, who ordered the crucifixion. He said that the jurors should stop David before the money window, because he wanted to fill his money bags and take them to Israel. Carroll even argued that $3.7 million was a great sum, considering that David bought the patent for a few hundred thousand dollars. He called David a "bottom feeder". When David mentioned a dinner meeting at a barbeque restaurant with one of the inventors of Commil's product, Carroll commented, "I bet not pork." Carroll also described David as "A financial investor who does not understand technology, and is seeking easy prey." ..."
Posted on 8/20/24 at 9:30 pm to Hou_Lawyer
Posted on 8/20/24 at 9:46 pm to Jim Rockford
I took one of the most combative and hostile party depositions I’ve ever taken the other day. Waiting on the transcript and video to come in.
At one point, he asked for a break to berate his own lawyer for not objecting enough to my questions
At one point, he asked for a break to berate his own lawyer for not objecting enough to my questions
This post was edited on 8/20/24 at 10:15 pm
Posted on 8/20/24 at 10:17 pm to boosiebadazz
Not particularly humorous, but back in the day I repped an accident victim who had suffered injuries from a pretty significant car crash. Case came to me from another lawyer, and we had to file suit immediately due to LA's 1 year prescription.
Defense wanted to depose early, so I had only spent a few minutes with my client before the court reporter set up and the deposition started. After about 3 minutes, the defense lawyer asked a lengthy question, at the end of which my client was soundly asleep. Turned out my client suffered from severe narcolepsy. Sumbitch would be completely out after 2 or 3 questions. It got so bad the defense gave up and left depo open for future pretrial attempts if necessary.
Ended up meeting with the client a few more times before negotiating a settlement. Every time, I would have to physically wake him up just to talk about the case.
Different case: I was deposing the driver of a vehicle which ran a stop sign and struck my client. Went through a lot of trivial stuff--time of day, origin, destination, marital status. Basically set up her normal routine from home to school and back. The accident happened 2 towns over at a place which was not part of that "normal routine." So, I asked why. After a quick break to confer with her attorney, she came back on the record and admitted she was engaging in an extramarital affair and driving to see Jody at the time of the wreck.
Defense wanted to depose early, so I had only spent a few minutes with my client before the court reporter set up and the deposition started. After about 3 minutes, the defense lawyer asked a lengthy question, at the end of which my client was soundly asleep. Turned out my client suffered from severe narcolepsy. Sumbitch would be completely out after 2 or 3 questions. It got so bad the defense gave up and left depo open for future pretrial attempts if necessary.
Ended up meeting with the client a few more times before negotiating a settlement. Every time, I would have to physically wake him up just to talk about the case.
Different case: I was deposing the driver of a vehicle which ran a stop sign and struck my client. Went through a lot of trivial stuff--time of day, origin, destination, marital status. Basically set up her normal routine from home to school and back. The accident happened 2 towns over at a place which was not part of that "normal routine." So, I asked why. After a quick break to confer with her attorney, she came back on the record and admitted she was engaging in an extramarital affair and driving to see Jody at the time of the wreck.
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