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re: Is anyone here adopted?
Posted on 1/13/24 at 7:23 am to jsmoke222000
Posted on 1/13/24 at 7:23 am to jsmoke222000
My sister is actually my 1st cousin and 16 years younger than me. It was my aunt's 2nd child that she gave up, but my parents adopted her. It was kept a secret, until it eventually came out, after my aunt passed away. It was hard on my sister/cousin, because she thought she could have had a different relationship with her "aunt". Truth is, my aunt had no desire to be a mother.
Years ago, the wife of the 1st baby my aunt gave up contacted our family. He was never told he was adopted and after his adoptive parents passed, he and his wife found the adoption papers. Ironically, he was born in LA, but ended up in MO, where all of my mom's family lives. My mom, dad and my "sister" (his 1/2 sister) went to visit them. As I understand, he was not overly enthusiastic about meeting these complete strangers.
I didn't find out that my dad wasn't my bio father until I was about 11. Funny thing, it was my aunt who told me. I understand adults keeping quiet about these things, but I felt betrayed by my mom. Honesty would not have changed how I felt about my dad. My mom's dishonesty changed how I felt about her.
Years ago, the wife of the 1st baby my aunt gave up contacted our family. He was never told he was adopted and after his adoptive parents passed, he and his wife found the adoption papers. Ironically, he was born in LA, but ended up in MO, where all of my mom's family lives. My mom, dad and my "sister" (his 1/2 sister) went to visit them. As I understand, he was not overly enthusiastic about meeting these complete strangers.
I didn't find out that my dad wasn't my bio father until I was about 11. Funny thing, it was my aunt who told me. I understand adults keeping quiet about these things, but I felt betrayed by my mom. Honesty would not have changed how I felt about my dad. My mom's dishonesty changed how I felt about her.
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Posted on 1/13/24 at 7:40 am to jsmoke222000
quote:
Yeah it really shook me & made me realize how some of my adoptive family really felt about me. I know that my uncle probably didn't come to that decision on his own, actually I'm positive he didn't. But he was their scapegoat & karma took care of the rest. My dad took up for me though, I think he was more pissed about it than i was.
I remember telling my aunt that I never asked to be in their family. My parents picked me, not the other way around.
People can be so cruel & not even realize it.
No doubt your dad was more pissed about it than you were. I don't doubt that at all.
Too often, when people start dying, how others feel comes out. That comment from the aunt would have never come out had her oldest sister, the one who basically raised her, not passed away.
Posted on 1/13/24 at 7:41 am to OlGrandad
quote:
when I was in high school I was with my pal, George and we were standing outside a corner drug store. George was a blonde headed guy and a lady walked up and she looked at George and said, "you look just like your father." George said no, my dad has black hair. She responded, "I meant your real dad."
Posted on 1/13/24 at 8:25 am to jsmoke222000
Years ago my sister got pregnant and put the kid up for adoption.
She was 20 and single at the time.
She never told me ( I was younger) she ever had a kid, but I knew.
Fast forward to a few years the child's wife got in touch with my sister about a family health issue. Turns out my sister's kid's kid had some medical condition that they wanted to know family history.
Nonetheless, my sister and her kid agreed to meet up. And they have been on pretty good terms since. I still can see there's a little bit of barrier of sorts between them, but overall it's good.
The irony here is that meetup with the son somehow got my sister to get together with the father of their child and they are essentially dating now after both going through divorce to previous spouses.
My sister never had another child and I really think that's been a painful decision for her that she ultimately regrets.
She turns 60 this year.
She was 20 and single at the time.
She never told me ( I was younger) she ever had a kid, but I knew.
Fast forward to a few years the child's wife got in touch with my sister about a family health issue. Turns out my sister's kid's kid had some medical condition that they wanted to know family history.
Nonetheless, my sister and her kid agreed to meet up. And they have been on pretty good terms since. I still can see there's a little bit of barrier of sorts between them, but overall it's good.
The irony here is that meetup with the son somehow got my sister to get together with the father of their child and they are essentially dating now after both going through divorce to previous spouses.
My sister never had another child and I really think that's been a painful decision for her that she ultimately regrets.
She turns 60 this year.
Posted on 1/13/24 at 8:30 am to jsmoke222000
quote:
That bitch is stupid. Blood doesn't make you family, most certainly not in this case.
I'd just like to say kuddos to all the parents in this thread who stepped up & gave a child a chance by adopting them. You guys are awesome!
I'm hoping there is more context to that clip, because what she says is beyond stupid and hateful. If that's how she really feels, she is truly a disgusting POS.
Posted on 1/13/24 at 9:26 am to jsmoke222000
We adopted our son from Russia in 2007 at 12 months. He’s never shown any interest in his birth parents but does have an interest in meeting his bio sister who is 3 years older. We’ve always kept the door open to assisting him after he’s 18 if he wants to locate his bio family but I’m secretly very nervous it won’t be a good experience for him.
I hope you’ve had a happy and healthy life with your adopted family. That’s all that matters in the end.
I hope you’ve had a happy and healthy life with your adopted family. That’s all that matters in the end.
Posted on 1/13/24 at 9:33 am to TJG210
quote:
How old were you? We’re still debating on when/how to tell her? My wife has tried keeping up with the other siblings so that we will have those answers for her.
This is a deeply personal decision but our mindset has always been the earlier, the better. There should be zero stigma attached to adoption when discussed within the family.
We told our son from the moment we brought him home. Started with bedtime stories about the angels who led us to him and the stories of bringing him home. The stories matured as he did. He doesn’t remember a time he didn’t know he was adopted and we are all very open discussing the topic if it comes up.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 4:09 am to LSUGrrrl
quote:
I hope you’ve had a happy and healthy life with your adopted family. That’s all that matters in the end.
Yeah my adopted parents, particularly my mom have been great. I couldn't have asked for a better person to raise me.
My biological sister is the one I really feel bad for. Our mother is mentally ill and my sister had to deal with years of trauma from being raised by that woman. I'm so thankful that she didn't raise me.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 6:46 am to Spankum
quote:
Life rarely has the fairytale endings we all like to envision….
But sometimes......sometimes it turns out perfect.
Posted on 4/30/24 at 8:05 am to jsmoke222000
quote:
Another crazy thing is that my cousin from my adopted family actually married one of my distant biological cousins. 6th I believe.
Roll Tide.
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