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Started By
Message
re: In need of prayers
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:33 am to theunknownknight
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:33 am to theunknownknight
quote:
some good sex right there.
Might want to keep reading
Wtf!! How can you suck at marriage and affairs? Dude, smh.. you ruin your marriage n didnt even get the pussy?
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:33 am to Darth_Vader
quote:
then it’s likely either he’s a preacher or he works with/for the other woman or her husband.
I'm going to go with works with the wife's friend. Hell, she may have originally gotten him the job.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:35 am to RandySavage
I'll try to give you level headed thoughts and it may get lost in this sea of a thread but here it goes anyway...
You're going to be on a long, long road here. What you did was obviously a series of poor choices but now the focus needs to be on two things moving forward, what caused you to behave in the manner you did and what you will do moving forward. Your marriage may be toast but it also may not be. I've seen guys who were having sex with another woman confess to their wives and after a super long time and a hell of a lot of work, they actually managed to work things out and they are still together today.
Couple things to keep in mind. For a substantial amount of time, nothing you do will be right. She will resent you and you'll just kinda have to take it for awhile. As time goes on and the wounds start to heal, she may be willing to approach the situation with some objectivity but that's down the road. You're making the right move by not making excuses, that'll only make things worse.
In the event that things start to deteriorate, if you feel yourself going into that dark hole mentally, get help. Hurting yourself would only further the pain and trauma to your family. Also, even though you'll get shite on a lot in this thread, you're not the first and won't be the last spouse who will make this mistake. Try to approach the situation as humbly as you can and think about how your experience can be used in the future. You'll be able to speak into the life of someone else down the line and speak with an authority because of your walking down this path now.
If she's willing, get some professional counseling as well and be willing to hear the painful darts that will likely be said there.
Believe it or not, the way you handle this can be a great teaching moment to your kids. You can demonstrate how a man takes responsibility for his actions and they can observe the process of healing and restoration which can be very therapeutic for them. I wish you the best of luck buddy because broken families are almost always a negative. It leads to pain that must be dealt with one way or another for your kids. Do your part to save the marriage, however hard that may be and if it just doesn't work, then that's a consequence of your action. Your behavior has gotten you in this mess, but it's what you do now that can make a difference.
God bless buddy and good luck to you and your family.
You're going to be on a long, long road here. What you did was obviously a series of poor choices but now the focus needs to be on two things moving forward, what caused you to behave in the manner you did and what you will do moving forward. Your marriage may be toast but it also may not be. I've seen guys who were having sex with another woman confess to their wives and after a super long time and a hell of a lot of work, they actually managed to work things out and they are still together today.
Couple things to keep in mind. For a substantial amount of time, nothing you do will be right. She will resent you and you'll just kinda have to take it for awhile. As time goes on and the wounds start to heal, she may be willing to approach the situation with some objectivity but that's down the road. You're making the right move by not making excuses, that'll only make things worse.
In the event that things start to deteriorate, if you feel yourself going into that dark hole mentally, get help. Hurting yourself would only further the pain and trauma to your family. Also, even though you'll get shite on a lot in this thread, you're not the first and won't be the last spouse who will make this mistake. Try to approach the situation as humbly as you can and think about how your experience can be used in the future. You'll be able to speak into the life of someone else down the line and speak with an authority because of your walking down this path now.
If she's willing, get some professional counseling as well and be willing to hear the painful darts that will likely be said there.
Believe it or not, the way you handle this can be a great teaching moment to your kids. You can demonstrate how a man takes responsibility for his actions and they can observe the process of healing and restoration which can be very therapeutic for them. I wish you the best of luck buddy because broken families are almost always a negative. It leads to pain that must be dealt with one way or another for your kids. Do your part to save the marriage, however hard that may be and if it just doesn't work, then that's a consequence of your action. Your behavior has gotten you in this mess, but it's what you do now that can make a difference.
God bless buddy and good luck to you and your family.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:35 am to RandySavage
You seriously deserve every second of pain you have for the rest of your life.
Not only did you betray your wife….you did it with one of her good friends.
Sincerely frick you dude and I hope your soon to be ex wife takes your pathetic cheating arse to the cleaners in the divorce. Your whole post isn’t even about wanting prayers for your family. It’s so you can feel better about being the POS you are. And hopefully get some “aww shucks man you are just a man who makes mistake, it’s ok you fricked up” posts.
The upside….living in a van is kinda acceptable now in society so you got that going for ya.
Not only did you betray your wife….you did it with one of her good friends.
Sincerely frick you dude and I hope your soon to be ex wife takes your pathetic cheating arse to the cleaners in the divorce. Your whole post isn’t even about wanting prayers for your family. It’s so you can feel better about being the POS you are. And hopefully get some “aww shucks man you are just a man who makes mistake, it’s ok you fricked up” posts.
The upside….living in a van is kinda acceptable now in society so you got that going for ya.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:36 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
I'm going to go with works with the wife's friend. Hell, she may have originally gotten him the job.
This is likely imo...
Think he took work wife too literally. Unfortunately, the no sex as well
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:36 am to RandySavage
The responses in this thread have been great considering the op's name. Definitely setup for it. Sfp, you went a little too hard on him

Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:37 am to Dubosed
quote:
Even if y'all do reconcile and stay together she is gonna hate you forever.
I went through this before. We stayed together. It was the worst decision. This NEVER gets fixed. Y'all will split in 7 years and wish you never tried.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:38 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
I'm going to go with works with the wife's friend. Hell, she may have originally gotten him the job.
Got him a job maybe gave him a handy and he blew up her marriage
Honestly that is just being a good friend
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:38 am to lsunurse
quote:
You seriously deserve every second of pain you have for the rest of your life.
Not only did you betray your wife….you did it with one of her good friends.
Sincerely frick you dude and I hope your soon to be ex wife takes your pathetic cheating arse to the cleaners in the divorce. Your whole post isn’t even about wanting prayers for your family. It’s so you can feel better about being the POS you are. And hopefully get some “aww shucks man you are just a man who makes mistake, it’s ok you fricked up” posts.
The upside….living in a van is kinda acceptable now in society so you got that going for ya.
Lotta pride and self righteousness in this post.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:38 am to GrizzlyAlloy
quote:
I went through this before. We stayed together. It was the worst decision. This NEVER gets fixed.
Yep, my ex wife wanted to try again but I said no way. Nothing was fixed.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:39 am to RandySavage
OP, sorry to hear all this. I’ve made some huge mistakes in my marriage also. I’ve never cheated but was once an alcoholic who was hooked on benzos. Waking up on bathroom floor with piss all over you, hearing your wife crying at 8 am only to get up and see she has a black eye is the most gut wrenching feeling I’ve ever had. Took a good year for her to trust me again. We were able to work it out and I had to of course quit drinking and taking benzos. Knowing your young kids and at the time 16 y/o daughter (oldest and no pics) witnessed everything. My sons were little and trying to hold me down. This was about 8-9 years ago and trust has been rebuilt, it definitely takes motivation on your part to rebuild it. Unfortunately my kids nor wife will ever forget that night, I don’t remember shite.
Fwiw, I’d seen a psychiatrist and 2 therapists all telling me I had severe ptsd, fire dept chaplains had even told administrators I need to step away from work. I was just starting to see second therapist when this happened.
Fwiw, I’d seen a psychiatrist and 2 therapists all telling me I had severe ptsd, fire dept chaplains had even told administrators I need to step away from work. I was just starting to see second therapist when this happened.
This post was edited on 7/3/23 at 9:04 am
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:39 am to JiminyCricket
quote:
Lotta pride and self righteousness in this post.
She's one of the most hateful people on this site
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:39 am to RandySavage
quote:
In need of prayers

Yeah, that ought to do it.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:39 am to JiminyCricket
quote:
Lotta pride and self righteousness in this post.
This
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:40 am to JiminyCricket
She will never with respect you
You betrayed her and not man enough to get pussy
I mean if did cheating right at least her animal instinct would see you as desirable to other women
You betrayed her and not man enough to get pussy
I mean if did cheating right at least her animal instinct would see you as desirable to other women
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:40 am to lsunurse
quote:
You seriously deserve every second of pain you have for the rest of your life.
Not only did you betray your wife….you did it with one of her good friends.
Sincerely frick you dude and I hope your soon to be ex wife takes your pathetic cheating arse to the cleaners in the divorce.

quote:
Your whole post isn’t even about wanting prayers for your family. It’s so you can feel better about being the POS you are.

quote:
And hopefully get some “aww shucks man you are just a man who makes mistake, it’s ok you fricked up” posts.

Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:40 am to Mushroom1968
quote:
My sons were little and trying to hold me down.
Damn dude. That's rough.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:40 am to GrizzlyAlloy
Yeah once they cheat it’s a massive waste of your time to try and work it out.
Once a cheater always a cheater and you will NEVER be able to fully trust them again anyways. Life is wayyyy too short and the world is full of others out there that can actually treat you well to stay with someone that has already shown they have the ability to really hurt you.
Once a cheater always a cheater and you will NEVER be able to fully trust them again anyways. Life is wayyyy too short and the world is full of others out there that can actually treat you well to stay with someone that has already shown they have the ability to really hurt you.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 8:41 am to RandySavage
Get off the Internet Message Board and go make your children a nice breakfast...
If you can manage to do that task without having another non-sex affair with one of your neighbors, etc.
If you can manage to do that task without having another non-sex affair with one of your neighbors, etc.
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