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Started By
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re: I'm not crazy, you're crazy - Borderline Personality Disorder
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:11 pm to 777Tiger
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:11 pm to 777Tiger
Ok bud
She's an adult of 30 and will make her own choices for her life. This is a discussion on a message board and you absolutely misread and misinterpreted my post son, you're just in denial.
For the record, I knew there would be 2-5 just like you who would.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 1:28 pm
0
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:12 pm to LSUPERMAN
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/26/24 at 2:49 am
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:13 pm to RockyMtnTigerWDE
quote:
We need to rip the stigma off of mental health and we need real focused diagnosis and not maybe's. TRUST me I know.
I think this could take care of a large number of issues facing our country at the moment.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:16 pm to Sam Quint
quote:several people here have admitted to never even having heard of it so recognizing red flags is that much harder.
i didnt know what i didnt know.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:29 pm to LSUPERMAN
quote:
Just curious but how long did you date before marriage? Seems like a lot of posters here have first hand knowledge but where the signs not there before marriage? Not bashing, just curious. The RouxGuru pointed out they could be just a-holes and I am wondering if some of these wives were great in the dating phase and then the switch turn in the marriage phase, that would mean they are aware of it, no?
The signs are probably there, but BPD people tend to love bomb in new relationships and are often hyper sexual, so partners brush it off. Particularly partners who suck at setting healthy boundaries.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:36 pm to Evil Little Thing
Have you even checked y'alls thetan levels?
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:39 pm to Evil Little Thing
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/26/24 at 2:49 am
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:42 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
not sure what a love bomb is
They’ll gaslight you and get in huge arguments with you, blaming everything on you. Then they’ll shower you with affection, especially in their words, but the actions tell a different story sooner than later.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 1:43 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:43 pm to Sam Quint
A love bomb is just overwhelming you with love, sex, and attention. You are the most important thing to them, nothing has ever been as good as you, you are the reason they breathe. Sex all the time. On the phone constantly. Solicitous and attentive to a fault. You feel completely worshiped.
Then they turn around and emotionally/verbally punch you in the face.
Then they turn around and emotionally/verbally punch you in the face.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 1:44 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:49 pm to Summerchild
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/26/24 at 2:50 am
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:50 pm to Summerchild
That is exactly how it goes down. And this
Eta: usually this is only recognized in hindsight
quote:happens usually after you are already married. And you have never dealt with anything like that before so you are confused af. And try to fix it not knowing it is unfixable.
they turn around and emotionally/verbally punch you in the face.
Eta: usually this is only recognized in hindsight
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 1:51 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:53 pm to Sam Quint
I dated a woman for 2.5 years that had BPD. frick, it was a nightmare. Nothing can treat it, just tones it down a tiny bit. I’d get out, it’s not worth your sanity
Posted on 2/15/23 at 1:56 pm to BeachDude022
quote:
I dated a woman for 2.5 years that had BPD. frick, it was a nightmare. Nothing can treat it, just tones it down a tiny bit. I’d get out, it’s not worth your sanity
Or your safety. When their eyes gloss over with absolute rage it seems like they may be capable of anything
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:00 pm to madamsquirrel
quote:
you are confused af.
Totally confused. Like this could not possibly be happening, so you try to figure out what happened and maybe doubt yourself a bit. And thats where the gaslighting starts.
And yeah, the love bomb could be construed as typical honeymoon-type stuff…but it seems to often be the very definition of “too good to be true”. And the honeymoon usually doesnt end with a verbal assault because you said the wrong thing when they arent feeling just right. But you just want to get back to what it was before so you let it pass.
This post was edited on 2/15/23 at 2:03 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:01 pm to MC5601
quote:
Or your safety. When their eyes gloss over with absolute rage it seems like they may be capable of anything
The meltdowns can be epic
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:03 pm to DaBull
quote:
Video the madness.
I used video and audio too. Carry a tiny audio recorder. Caught my ex tearing out all my computer cables and destroying my workstation. Caught her on audio threatening to send an email to all my clients. The stupid b.tch actually left a threatening voice mail. When a BPD is angry they lose control and do stupid sh.t like memorialize their threats. Just a couple examples.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:04 pm to VolunGator
Yes. Voicemails and text messages helped me obtain a restraining order in court.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:04 pm to bad93ex
quote:
A love bomb is just overwhelming you with love, sex, and attention.
Invented by a lonely depressed cat lady or a poof.
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:10 pm to Sam Quint
quote:
i never really had any super serious relationships before her, so i didnt know what the frick i was doing anyways.
Well, now you know. You have 2 young children, so I can assume you're 35ish. You have lots of miles still left on those tires. I can tell you with absolute certainty that this situation will not improve if she is truly has BPD. The BEST case scenario is what others have discussed, in that she seeks help and becomes self-aware of her condition. That doesn't stop the craziness, it just helps her realize and understand that after she rages, it isn't necessarily YOUR fault. It doesn't stop the acting out.
And you can go to therapy and learn how to deal with it, but in the end, you're just managing crazy. You'll still be on edge.
I am not trying to be all doom and gloom. You can only control your actions (therapy 101). But you also have a responsibility to yourself, and your children.
This post was edited on 10/23/23 at 12:51 pm
Posted on 2/15/23 at 2:13 pm to VolunGator
quote:
I used video and audio too. Carry a tiny audio recorder. Caught my ex tearing out all my computer cables and destroying my workstation. Caught her on audio threatening to send an email to all my clients. The stupid b.tch actually left a threatening voice mail. When a BPD is angry they lose control and do stupid sh.t like memorialize their threats. Just a couple examples.
A few times when we were fighting, I would have enough and decide to go back to my place for the night. She would scream, try to block the doors, and threaten to falsify a police report saying that I hit her if I left. Said she would ruin my life and career just because I'd had enough of her craziness and wanted to have a night of peace. There is no rationalizing with these people.
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