re: I need you to give me a reference for an employer

Rebeloke can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. He works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. He never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. He is an individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Rebeloke can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I recommend that he be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

executed as soon as possible.

Note for those who haven't seen this before: Read every other line of the recommendation letter.

quote:

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If I get this job I will come back as a real person.

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Your nose is growing...

In the short time that I've come to know this man through internet interactions, I can confidently say that he would be a legal addition to any business outside of a five hundred yards radius of any elementary schools. Thank you for your consideration.

Dear Fleshlight Corp.,
After many years of knowing rebeloke, I can definitely say you would be very lucky if you could get rebeloke to work for you.
Bullfrog