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Started By
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re: How do you know when you are getting old?
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:02 pm to rebeloke
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:02 pm to rebeloke
When its been years, and I mean years, since a member of the opposite sex not my wife looked at me with any passing interest.
I am in a lot of trouble if the wife ever leaves me.
I am in a lot of trouble if the wife ever leaves me.
1
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:11 pm to vistajay
When you cant trust a fart.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:19 pm to rebeloke
When you start making involuntary noises when you get up from sitting. 
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:20 pm to rebeloke
when your body aches for more than a morning after a day of physical activity/labor
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:25 pm to El Campo Tiger
quote:
Can you run a mile?
If not, you're old
If you mean without stopping then I've been old all my life.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:26 pm to tipup
quote:
When you cant trust a fart
Yep, been old my entire life.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 3:34 pm to Hu_Flung_Pu
Your dreams are dry and your farts are wet.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 6:57 pm to rebeloke
Well, as a youth you were broke, but as an adult you have finally accumulated your money but the energy of your youth is no longer around.
What you could do in fifteen minutes years ago now takes you 20 or even 25.
You hurt more. The wear and tear on your body is finally catching up with you.
Just a like an older car goes to the shop more often, as you get older you also go to the shop more often, but we call them physicians.
We have accumulated our toys. They'll eventually find their way into your will.
The kids are gone, the wife is gone (thank God), and you have a bit more freedom.
Where the kids are going to think they're immortal, you recognize that you are mortal and that day is coming. Consequently, you treat every day as a gift.
You quit worrying what other folks think. You speak your mind.
You still get out and raise hell, probably not as often. I don't have hangovers. Learned how to work around those years ago. I still close down a bar here and there, and can now afford it.
You have more peace of mind about a lot of things.
Yes, you have garnered more respect from others due to your age.
Things you just thought were important, are now little shite and not worth worrying about.
You wish your old man was still alive. It would have been one hell of a time.
You realize that you are now "the old man."
Just because you have reached a certain age doesn't mean it's over. There's plenty to do.
You can still have a good love life when you're older.
I am sure I could think of more but I'll let others have a turn.
This is coming from someone in their early 60's sleeping with a fairly cute 45 year old nurse. You are as young as the girl you're sleeping with.
What you could do in fifteen minutes years ago now takes you 20 or even 25.
You hurt more. The wear and tear on your body is finally catching up with you.
Just a like an older car goes to the shop more often, as you get older you also go to the shop more often, but we call them physicians.
We have accumulated our toys. They'll eventually find their way into your will.
The kids are gone, the wife is gone (thank God), and you have a bit more freedom.
Where the kids are going to think they're immortal, you recognize that you are mortal and that day is coming. Consequently, you treat every day as a gift.
You quit worrying what other folks think. You speak your mind.
You still get out and raise hell, probably not as often. I don't have hangovers. Learned how to work around those years ago. I still close down a bar here and there, and can now afford it.
You have more peace of mind about a lot of things.
Yes, you have garnered more respect from others due to your age.
Things you just thought were important, are now little shite and not worth worrying about.
You wish your old man was still alive. It would have been one hell of a time.
You realize that you are now "the old man."
Just because you have reached a certain age doesn't mean it's over. There's plenty to do.
You can still have a good love life when you're older.
I am sure I could think of more but I'll let others have a turn.
This is coming from someone in their early 60's sleeping with a fairly cute 45 year old nurse. You are as young as the girl you're sleeping with.
This post was edited on 10/13/16 at 6:58 pm
Posted on 10/13/16 at 7:14 pm to rebeloke
Viagra and peptides
Posted on 10/13/16 at 7:22 pm to El Campo Tiger
quote:
Can you run a mile?
Is something chasing me?
Posted on 10/13/16 at 7:29 pm to rebeloke
....Truth
When you are walking in the mall and you are checking out the MOM and not the dauther
When you are walking in the mall and you are checking out the MOM and not the dauther
Posted on 10/13/16 at 7:33 pm to rebeloke
You need the strongest Viagra tab just to get enough out to take a piss without sitting down.
Yep, like others have said, farts just happen, but I'll add that sometimes they leave skid marks in da drawers.
You wake up every 2 hours to piss.
You fall asleep while watching your favorite tv show.
Sex? What sex? The feeling goes away as soon as you see each other nekkid.
You stop and start 50 times when taking a piss.
Your hemorrhoids look like a bunch of grapes right after you take a crap or any time you strain on anything.
You read the obits every morning to see if any of your friends made the news.
You hate to see your kids come to visit because of the little holy terrors they bring with them now.
Wait, did I start those with "you"? I meant me.
You want any more?
Yep, like others have said, farts just happen, but I'll add that sometimes they leave skid marks in da drawers.
You wake up every 2 hours to piss.
You fall asleep while watching your favorite tv show.
Sex? What sex? The feeling goes away as soon as you see each other nekkid.
You stop and start 50 times when taking a piss.
Your hemorrhoids look like a bunch of grapes right after you take a crap or any time you strain on anything.
You read the obits every morning to see if any of your friends made the news.
You hate to see your kids come to visit because of the little holy terrors they bring with them now.
Wait, did I start those with "you"? I meant me.
You want any more?
Posted on 10/13/16 at 8:54 pm to rebeloke
It's 9:00 bedtime 4:30 comes soon. Have to get up every 2 1/2 hours to pee at night. 
Posted on 10/13/16 at 8:56 pm to rebeloke
When I get sore after playing corn hole at tailgating.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 8:56 pm to rebeloke
quote:
How do you know when you are getting old?
When you ask this question:
quote:
How do you know when you are getting old?
Posted on 10/13/16 at 8:58 pm to rebeloke
You see a cute girl walking down the street and your first thought is to wonder how you can introduce your son.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 9:11 pm to rebeloke
when you are a paw paw and aarp send you letters :.... :seems like yesterday, me and the boys were playing ball at the court,then going out at night partying to 3am.....best advice I can give is don't blink fellas, I turn 50 next week 
Posted on 10/13/16 at 9:16 pm to rebeloke
quote:
How do you know when you are getting old?
When every thread on the Rant that says "we need to play Neck" irritates the shite out of you.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 9:21 pm to rebeloke
No idea. I'm pretty much stuck at 14.
Posted on 10/13/16 at 9:27 pm to tipup
quote:
When you cant trust a fart.
Or pass up a bathroom or waste a hard on
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