re: How common do you think affairs are?

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Because there’s more at stake. There’s family and finances and friends.

And so many fall into the trap of “just this once”.

Because they don’t want to jump ship without a lifeboat. They tell themselves that it’s just a taste. Something to ease the longing. The loneliness.

Because at its core it is selfishness. Wanting to hold on to the life you have while drinking in the sweet poison of the forbidden fruit.

Every time they swear “this can’t happen again”

Until the next time.

Some people keep it together for a while, but the deeper they get the more things crack. The more it strains their life at home and validates their cheating.

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100% accurate post

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None of them said anything about physical affairs but all of them said that they always have a side guy or girl that they text regularly. They all explained that they were so much happier this way and it actually made them want to be physical with their spouses because of it.

I didn’t get it but they all also basically explained that without a side conversation to talk with regularly that they are miserable and get in way way too many arguments and fights with their spouses.

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But they aren't happier in their marriage, they are happier personally -which means they've already checked out of their marriage emotionally and are seeking happiness elsewhere. This doesn't make for a better or "happier" marriage - it means they are now treating their marriage as a business relationship and not a personal one. It doesn't make them love their spouse any more or make their actual relationship any stronger - it just makes them more able to tolerate their spouse.

Why, then, does it make them want to be more physical with their spouse "because of it"? Two reasons. The first is to assuage their guilt. The second is to mask their cheating. If they have sex with their spouse more often it makes them less likely to suspect that they are cheating, giving the appearance that everything is fine.