re: Guys that hold doors open for other guys

I guess I'm gay as f*ck.

I only hold the door open for guys I want to frick.

Wanna go steady?

I'm not one to brag, but this is where I really shine. I've probably held a door for tens of thousands of people in my life. I wouldn't say it's an addiction, but it's definitely a rush to bolt towards the front of the crowd, your back turned, showing your vulnerability, trusting they're not snickering at your spotty beard or mocking your awkward gait. You would never know if they were though, and sometimes I wonder if the risk is worth the reward. But then right before the anxiety cripples you, that door flys forward, and you turn and face your audience, revealing yourself and your gift to them for the first time. How their faces beam at you, only you, for those few passing seconds. There's really no greater feeling in the world.

Sometimes I wonder about my intentions, if I'm really doing it for them, or if I'm just doing it for myself, as there's no denying the outright, almost embarrassing amounts of approval and admiration thrown at me once people realize what I'm doing. Sure, occasionally you'll get "that guy" that senses the electricity in the room has shifted my way and wants to reach out and hold the door too as he's passing, trying to belittle my dominant gesture and assert himself as an equal, but a quick break in my string of "your welcome"s and "no problem"s to give him a cold, empty stare is always enough to dissuade him. Believe me, he's not interested in a confrontation right now, heh, not with the whole gotdang crowd on my side.

I know it sounds glamorous right now, but the truth is I'm only telling you about the successes. I won't always be around to help you, so I'll leave you with this: ask not for whom the door holds, it holds for thee.

Wanna go steady?

don't ask me

SHOW ME

grab that door for me, bae

I'm gonna have to listen to Metallica now because of that last sentence

I'll grab it, if it's the back door.

To be that insecure you must be struggling with your gender choices.

You're a mix between rex and rebloke