Today in a History.

1547
Ivan IV crowns himself the new Czar of Russia in Assumption Cathedral in Moscow.
1786
The Council of Virginia guarantees religious freedom.
1847
John C. Fremont, the famed "Pathfinder" of Western exploration, is appointed governor of California.
1865
General William T. Sherman begins a march through the Carolinas.
1900
The U.S. Senate recognizes the Anglo-German Treaty of 1899 by which the UK renounced its rights to the Samoan Islands.

1909
One of Ernest Shackleton's polar exploration teams reaches the Magnetic South Pole.
1914
Maxim Gorky is authorized to return to Russia after an eight year exile for political dissidence.
1920
The League of Nations holds its first meeting in Paris.
1920
Allies lift the blockade on trade with Russia.
1939
Franklin D. Roosevelt asks for an extension of the Social Security Act to include more women and children.

1940
Hitler cancels an attack in the West due to bad weather and the capture of German attack plans in Belgium.
1942
Japan's advance into Burma begins.
1944
Eisenhower assumes supreme command of the Allied Expeditionary Force in Europe.
1945
The U.S. First and Third armies link up at Houffalize, effectively ending the Battle of the Bulge.
1956
The Egyptian government makes Islam the state religion.

1965
Eighteen are arrested in Mississippi for the murder of three civil rights workers.
1975
The Irish Republican Army calls an end to a 25-day cease fire in Belfast.
1979
The Shah leaves Iran.
1991
The Persian Gulf War begins. The massive U.S.-led offensive against Iraq -- Operation Desert Storm -- ends on February 28, 1991, when President George Bush declares a cease-fire, and Iraq pledges to honor future coalition and U.N. peace terms.

Joke of the Day.

A store where a woman may go to choose a husband has opened in Auckland.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

“You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.”

So a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -- These Men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 --These Men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

“That's nice,” she thinks. “But I want more.”

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 -- These Men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are Extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-Dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 -- These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, Are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 -- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.