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Today in History: October 13
0054
Nero succeeds his great uncle Claudius, who was murdered by his wife, as the new emperor of Rome.

1307
Members of the Knights of Templar are arrested throughout France, imprisoned and tortured by the order of King Philip the Fair of France.

1670
Virginia passes a law that blacks arriving in the colonies as Christians cannot be used as slaves.

1775
The Continental Congress authorizes construction of two warships, thus instituting an American naval force.

1792
President George Washington lays the cornerstone for the White House.

1812
At the Battle of Queenston Heights, a Canadian and British army defeats the American who have tried to invade Canada.

1942
In the first of four attacks, two Japanese battleships sail down the slot and shell Henderson field on Guadalcanal, in an unsuccessful effort to destroy the American Cactus Air Force.

1943
Italy declares war on Germany.

1972
Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 crashes in the Andes Mountains, near the Argentina-Chile border; only 16 survivors (out of 45 people aboard) are rescued on Dec. 23.

Today in History: Born on October 13
1941
Paul Simon, singer, songwriter, musician, producer; rose to fame as half of the Simon & Garfunkel duo; to date (2013) he has received 12 Grammys including a Lifetime Achievement Award (2001); Time magazine included him in its 2006 special "100 People Who Shaped the World."

1947
Sammy Hagar, "The Red Rocker," singer, songwriter, musician; replaced David Lee Roth as lead singer of the band Van Halen.

1959
Marie Osmond, singer ("Paper Roses"), songwriter, actress; co-hosted TV variety show Donny & Marie with her brother Donny (1976-79).

1967
Kate Walsh, actress (Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice TV series).

1969
Nancy Kerrigan, figure skater; won Olympic bronze (1992) and silver (1994) medals; US National Champion 1993; on Jan. 6, 1994, she was clubbed on the knee in an attack intended to aid one of her skating rivals.

JOTD
My wife has been trying to hide the fact that she's been masturbating while on her period.


But I caught her red handed!