re: first battle with constipation

That's why you keep a poop spoon right next to the poop knife.

ETA: Also...

Prune juice always does wonders for me.

Explosive shite within an hour.

Morning coffee always gets me moving

This right here will eliminate everything in you, I mean everything!

Beware, do not leave your home until the “experience” is over.

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first battle with constipation

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half dozen Krispy Kremes or a 3 piece white with red beans from Popeyes...

After my knee surgery, several years ago, I was blocked up beyond belief.

I took every laxative known to man, but nothing was pushing that choclate clump out.

Finally after 7 DAYS of misery doctor told me to take a suppository.

It greased that chocolate squirrel up just enough for me to give birth to it. I was sweating, nearly fainting, bracing myself with a surgically repaired knee fully extended.

I went back to my bed, laid down, 30 minutes later i gave birth to a much smaller chocolate squirrel. Worked up a sweat on that one too, but it was much easier to pass.

Once those two nightmares were over, I shite liquid diarrhea the rest of the way due to all the laxatives I took prior.

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i ate a half block of cheese two days ago

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Why would you eat that much cheese at one sitting?

300 ml of magnesium citrate and you’ll be Harry In dumb and dumber

Real talk:

- Eat less meat, maybe none most of the time
- Eat a plant based diet, plenty of literature on how to do this

Try it for two weeks, you will feel amazing, lose weight, shite regularly and wonder why you were clogging up your body.

True story!

Spankum - Seriously, google your question, there are so many ways to address protein needs that don't require meat.

Trust me, I love a good BBQ and plan to indulge in meat at different points in my life, but it is the rare exception. Cutting out meat has made a tremendous health change in my life, I invite everyone to try it for a at least a few weeks to fully appreciate the affect you will experience.

I was back in Louisiana a week or so ago for a few days and during that visit I was a serious Crawfishatarian.