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1
Posted on 1/15/17 at 3:17 pm to Hot Carl
Deepak Chopra hasn't aged very well. 
This post was edited on 1/15/17 at 3:20 pm
Posted on 1/15/17 at 3:18 pm to Tigerfan56
If you are having these feelings. You need to get out it's not going to work
Posted on 1/15/17 at 3:21 pm to Tigerfan56
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/16/17 at 8:32 am
Posted on 1/15/17 at 4:40 pm to Tigerfan56
Honestly if you're not ready, you can always wait. You're 26 years old. What's the rush? If you're worried about starting a family later in life, don't. There are pros and cons to being both younger and older parents.
I'm 29 and have made peace with the fact I'll likely be an older dad. I'm happy about it. I'll have time to become financially stable and to do things for myself first, like travel.
I'm 29 and have made peace with the fact I'll likely be an older dad. I'm happy about it. I'll have time to become financially stable and to do things for myself first, like travel.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 4:46 pm to Tigerfan56
OK. I'll be the voice of reason. Please DO NOT get it in your head that the grass is greener on the other side. 9.9 times out of 10 it is not.
You say you don't fight, are on the same page, and she would be a good wife and mother, then you have probably hit paydirt. If she loves you and is faithful, you've got it good. Have you read all the threads of guys with cheating whores for girlfriends?
Perhaps you should do some self-examination and see if maybe you could be at fault for things getting stale. Life happens and it is not always fun and games. There is no fairytale -- it doesn't exist. You will get out of marriage what you are willing to put into it.
Just something to think about. Ultimately it is your decision and you have to live with it. Unfortunately, so will she. Good luck.
You say you don't fight, are on the same page, and she would be a good wife and mother, then you have probably hit paydirt. If she loves you and is faithful, you've got it good. Have you read all the threads of guys with cheating whores for girlfriends?
Perhaps you should do some self-examination and see if maybe you could be at fault for things getting stale. Life happens and it is not always fun and games. There is no fairytale -- it doesn't exist. You will get out of marriage what you are willing to put into it.
Just something to think about. Ultimately it is your decision and you have to live with it. Unfortunately, so will she. Good luck.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 4:47 pm to Tigerfan56
At some point you have to grow up
Posted on 1/15/17 at 4:52 pm to Blob Fish
Not sure if op is still reading this 5 pages deep, but here it goes. I dated my wife 6 years before we wed so maybe y'all need to date awhile longer. As far as those cold feet feelings, I think most guys get them. You wonder if you will miss the hook-ups, one night stands & only worrying about yourself and I'm sure from time to time you might, but what helped me is the fact my wife and I had been through so much together and I just think if the things that we have done or built together, pain and success that we both experienced. These things outweigh any random hook-up I might would have that could destroy all that we have accomplished. If nothing else maybe put the wedding on hold so y'all can build more of a relationship. That may help
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:03 pm to GeauxGoose
Still reading. Appreciate the advice. A lot of this hits home.
I do think I just have the cold feet, wondering what I'll miss out on.
I'm also definitely just as much at fault as her for things getting stale/boring and will try to add more fun and excitement
I do think I just have the cold feet, wondering what I'll miss out on.
I'm also definitely just as much at fault as her for things getting stale/boring and will try to add more fun and excitement
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:22 pm to Tigerfan56
If she's not at least 7 years younger than you you're making a mistake
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:29 pm to SirWinston
quote:
If she's not at least 7 years younger than you you're making a mistake
He's 26. That can be his 2nd wife.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:31 pm to Honky Lips
quote:
and in 10 years wonder why you're miserable
Oh, he won't make it 10....more like 2 and divorced in 3/4.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:37 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
The thing is, nothing about our relationship is bad. We have lived together 1.5 years, no issues. We get along perfectly, on the same page in every important aspect of life. She would be a great wife and mother.
These are all positives.
quote:
Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement. Feels like we're already a boring married couple
You're going to get that by living with anyone! Wife, fiancee, girlfriend, roommate, etc.
quote:
Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage.
Who doesn't? What'll probably happen if you call it off is this:
She'll meet someone else. Probably better looking than you, more successful than you, and richer than you. During this time, he'll stretch her out and do dirty, dirty things to her. She'll marry him. All during this time, you'll struggle to meet decent chicks. Sure, you may hook up with the OT 3 or 4 skank every few months. But, most of the time, you'll be striking out and find yourself alone.
Good luck.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:43 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
wondering what I'll miss out on.
Unless you want to travel (solo) or join the military, peace corps, etc. what are you afraid you'll miss?
Maybe you should be worrying about missing out on sharing your life with a great gal, with whom you have a lot in common, get along with, trust, agree with, and with whom you want to raise a family.
It's fine if you don't want those things right now. Live your life. But don't frick up a good deal and regret it later on because of something superficial.
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:46 pm to Pectus
Agreed
Posted on 1/15/17 at 5:50 pm to Tigerfan56
I got engaged when I was 18, married when I was 20. I had received some really bad advice and thought it was the right thing to do. While I was engaged, I came to the realization that I didn't really want to get married. I was still attracted to other women and wanted the opportunity to pursue them. I went to my parents and told them of my dilemma. They really liked my wife-to-be and gave me the whole "the grass isn't greener on the other side" spiel. So, I ended up going through with it. While married, I cheated on my wife with another woman, something I'm not proud of. Once again I went to various people for advice, including my parents, who by the time had been married for 30+ years. They encouraged me to stick it out, so I did. Ended up having a daughter together, truly one if the best things in my life, but I still felt stuck. After 5 1/2 years my wife finally told me that she wanted a divorce, and I took her up on that offer and never looked back.
All that said, if you're not 100% certain that she's the right one for you, the woman you want to grow old with, then don't do it. Don't put anyone else's happiness ahead of your own. After all, you only live once!
All that said, if you're not 100% certain that she's the right one for you, the woman you want to grow old with, then don't do it. Don't put anyone else's happiness ahead of your own. After all, you only live once!
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:04 pm to Tigerfan56
Don't frickin do it
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:07 pm to Tigerfan56
whose alter are you?
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:07 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
We have lived together 1.5 years
Living with a woman you are not married to is always a bad idea, it is a failed comfort test, meaning you will get shite tested further and further and just to see how far she will go. Once a woman moves in with you, you lose all the leverage and the dynamics change. Might as well start calling her mother because that is what the dynamic is: mother-son
quote:
Things just have gotten stale, no more excitement.
What did you expect to happen when you live with a woman you arent married to?
quote:
Sometimes I just want to be free again, to be able to hook up with other women. That's really the only reason I wouldn't want to be married. I don't know if that's a normal feeling to have or if it's an indication that I'm not ready for marriage.
It's completely normal, ever heard the term "Men desire freedom, women desire access"? The most desirable thing for a man is freedom. Which is why marriage is a bad idea, because you are ceding that. Marriage is a good idea for women because they get what they want most, access.
quote:
Has anyone every had similar thoughts or experiences and what happened? I'm guessing I'll get 90% sarcastic and funny remarks but hopefully some marriage insight as frankly none of my best friends are married so it's hard to find someone to talk to with relevant insight
My #1 best advice I give everyone: Don't get married
Posted on 1/15/17 at 6:12 pm to goldennugget
Another thing I want to add is that you said you are 26, let me tell you a little secret, men peak in their mid 30s, from age 34-38, is when women find men the most attractive. Why settle 8 years before you enter your peak years. Why not make the most of your peak years instead.
Why men are always so quick to settle down before hitting their prime, confuses me.
Why men are always so quick to settle down before hitting their prime, confuses me.
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