re: Do I Have To Tell My Fiancé If A Former GF Wants To Meet Up With Me?

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Will you shut up?

Now...

I told her and real short version is that she told me to meet ex for dinner.

Short version went as follows:

“I’m going to tell her no.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

“No.”

“Alright then. So what’s the problem?”

“You don’t think it’s a bad idea?”

“Only if you still have feelings for her. In which case, we need to have a serious conversation. Do you still have feelings for her? Be honest with yourself and me.”

“No.”

“Ok then. I don’t see why you should tell her it’s a bad idea.”

“So you don’t have a problem with me and an ex meeting for dinner?”

“No. Because I trust you.”

“Really? That simple huh?”

“You’re going to be around other women. That’s inevitable. You will be in some situation at some point that will tempt you. It will happen. I trust you to do the right thing. I’m glad you told me about it. It tells me that you are honest with me. I want you to be honest with yourself too. We have to be honest with each other and trust each other. That is how it must be.”

My first reaction was what is she up to? Is this a trick? This is a test. She’s telling me it’s ok and to do it to see if I will then get pissed because I failed the test.

But then, as we continued to talk last night, I believed that she really does feel this way. Every woman in my past has been insecure, jealous, and clingy. She was none of this. She admitted that she wasn’t warm on the idea of an ex and I meeting for dinner but she just trusts me to do the right thing.

I am filled with love and admiration for her. I’m going to meet my ex, we will have dinner, and that’s it. I’m not worried. My fiancé’s faith in me has reinforced my faith in myself. I already had it, I knew nothing would happen, but hearing it from her just elevated it and reinforced it.

When you open yourself up to someone you have to make yourself vulnerable. Otherwise you never really put your faith in someone. My fiancé’s faith in me has given me faith in her. I did not have faith in her response to this awkward situation. My initial thought was to hide it to avoid any drama. This would have been drama in past relationships. But she’s not like those past experiences.

She is making me a better man. And she is making me want to be a better man for her.

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