re: Divorced members of the OT

Emotionally-7 months (met a beautiful, self sufficient, freak in the bedroom lady)

Financially-I had to file chapter 13 because she left me with all the bills( car note, mortgage, credit cards, etc......) but I'm already working on digging myself out and in about 5 years I hope to be back where I was financially before my divorce.

One thing I learned I'll never have another loan from a bank or a credit card. I'll pay cash or I don't need it unless it something big like a car/truck.

Emotionally - I was fine once we separated. I actually couldn't get her out of the apartment fast enough, but she was going to move back to Arkansas from NYC and it took her time to get her affairs in order, so she slept on the couch for a month from the time that I told her it was time for her to go. But the 2 months leading up to that REALLY sucked emotionally.

I did have to deal with some anger and frustration after that, because it didn't make any sense to me that she fricked things up so badly after all I'd done for her. But I eventually came to terms with her just being an idiot, and boning several new fwbs helped with that. I had a girl on what had been "our" bed one week after my ex moved out. It turns out that she was quite easily replaceable.

Financially - I'm in good financial shape, but I'm paying alimony until the end of the year, so I'm not doing as well as I should be. But that ends in December and my cash flow will take a big jump up. I'm living within my means for now, and most of the "extra" money I'll have when alimony ends will go to paying off the remainder of my student loan debt and into an emergency savings fund. Mine's a little low right now, but there's nothing I can do about it. The good news is that I'm not on the hook for the $40,000 of student loan debt my ex has, and her credit was a wreck while mine is pretty good (~750). I have a lucrative career and she's still a student. I'm going to come out waaaay ahead in the long run.

Financial - a long time
Emotional - couldn't sign the agreed order fast enough.

I've had several counselors tell me --

On average, it takes a man 2 years to recover from divorce.

And it takes women 5 years.

Yep. Jville where you at in jville? Time for a beer son

quote:

---

I've known some who were so bad off in their marriage that finally cutting the toxic bond essentially saved their lives or at least greatly improved their lives.

---

:raiseshand: