re: Dealing with a older parent with depression/anxiety

That’s sad, nurse. Especially, since your Dad has only 3 years on me.

If he truly has clinical depression, you know that the only thing that will help is medication. Other things, such as a hobby, a job, exercise, etc., are helpful but the only thing that’s going to get those brain synapses working properly is medication. I am sure that you also know that it can take some time to properly adjust meds.

Laughter is also very important. This board has entertained me since I joined in 2006. While I may not post everyday, I normally read it at some point each day. I cannot think of a time when I did not laugh out loud at something I read here. Sometimes the humor is childish, crude, irreverent, but it is often quite witty. I enjoy and laugh at it all.

I’m sorry I don’t have a real answer for you, but I think the first order of business for your Dad is to get his meds properly adjusted. Good luck!

Thanks SW2SCLA...I was hoping you would pop up in this thread with your psych knowledge


What would be a good prn med he could take for the anxiety?(obviously he would still need to be on a daily medication) I've noticed some days are better than others. But some days...it is really bad. I wish he had a medication that he could just take on days like that to help calm him down.

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Also, I think a dog would be a great idea if he's interested in it.

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They already have a cat and live in a pretty small mobile home so I think more pets wouldn't really work for them.

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I hope he gets back to being his old self

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I will just be happy if he can be relatively content. I realize the move to AZ has been traumatic to him and he really misses LA. The decision to relocate them wasn't one I rashly made. It was one made after intense discussion with the rest of my family on what we all thought was best for them longterm.

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What would be a good prn med he could take for the anxiety?(obviously he would still need to be on a daily medication) I've noticed some days are better than others. But some days...it is really bad. I wish he had a medication that he could just take on days like that to help calm him down.

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There are your benzodiazepines (xanax, ativan, klonopin). Most providers won't prescribe them long-term due to their abuse potential, but they are very effective PRN medications for anxiety.

Vistaril is another option. Its actually similar to benadryl. We use a lot on the unit I work at.

In the past year we've also started using beta-blockers PRN for anxiety. They mainly reduce the physical symptoms associated with anxiety, but they may not be suitable depending on your father's health issues.

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Other things, such as a hobby, a job, exercise, etc., are helpful but the only thing that’s going to get those brain synapses working properly is medication.

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I agree.....but know that him laying in bed all day only makes him feel worse. He keeps telling me “I just don’t feel good enough to get up”. What complicates the matter more is my dad’s wanting to play the victim and have everyone feel bad for him. It becomes a challenge for me to help to encourage him without enabling him. He is also very stubborn and very set in his ways.


I can’t help him the way I need to if he won’t even try to do small things that could help in the long run.


ETA: I’m also trying to do what I can before his appt. on Dec 12. It’s not like he can go to the ER before then and ask them to change his meds(unless he was truly in a crisis).

You're absolutely correct. If it is clinical depression, the vicious cycle is that until meds kick in the person does not/can not do anything to help himself.

While I know you care about your Dad, if it is clinical depression, there is really nothing that you will be able to do for him short of getting him to an MD who can get his meds in order.

I hope you will be able to get an appointment ASAP. I know you are trying and I know how frustrating getting an appointment can be. Best to you.

He doesn’t know anyone here in PHX besides family.

Even when he still lived in BR he didn’t have any friends that he actually stayed in contact with.

Thank you Iona


He has an appt dec 12. Thankfully my boss is very understanding and will allow me to adjust my work schedule that day so I can go with him.

I hate that I can’t help him more right now. I feel like I’m at my wits end most days and feel like I’ve failed him somehow. That there is something more I could do. I realize that isn’t how depression works...but man it’s hard.

You're very welcome, nurse.

I know first hand about clinical depression and feel for anyone who suffers it - and their loved ones.

And while I know that your training allows you to understand on an intellectual level that there is really nothing you can do except get him help, the fact that you are his daughter overshadows that and you feel that you MUST do more. Hang in there. I'll say one for your Dad and your family.

I'm not your dads age, but not real far behind him. I talked to one of my closest childhood friends last year. Talked for 2 hours on phone. Had a great time. Just saying.Hadn't talked to him in twenty years at least.

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There just aren't enough providers.

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I read that insurance reimbursements for psych are trending downward, which will probably contribute to newer physicians avoiding the field.