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Message
Dealing with a older parent with depression/anxiety
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:47 am
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:47 am
I've mentioned my dad on here before. He's always been the "worrywart" in the family. From what my mom says...his depression/anxiety issues were present before the BR flood. But the flood just made things worse.
Now, every little thing is like the end of the world to him. He will obsess over things that don't really matter that much in the grand scheme of things(ex: his minivan's gas mileage going down). Even after I talk it out with him and we reach a solution(or I help him see that it's not an actual problem)...he will cycle back to that problem later. His anxiety makes him depressed which makes him more anxious which makes him more depressed.
He is already on antidepressants but says they don't help. His PCP referred him to a psychiatrist...which was a nightmare just trying to get an appt with one(he doesn't go see one until mid December and we hope they can adjust his meds and maybe add a med he can take as needed when his anxiety is very high).
I've tried encouraging him to get out for short walks(the only exercise he can really do now with his health..he's 69). I've tried encouraging him to do what few hobbies he has (he likes to fish...there is a park a mile from their home with a fully stocked pond for fishing). However, many times he will say he will do it..but just stays home instead. Which I know just laying around doing nothing at home will only make him feel worse.
Those that have dealt with similar issues with older parents/relatives...what did you do? His condition is a constant daily stressor to me. It breaks my heart seeing him like this. I just want my dad to feel more content.
Now, every little thing is like the end of the world to him. He will obsess over things that don't really matter that much in the grand scheme of things(ex: his minivan's gas mileage going down). Even after I talk it out with him and we reach a solution(or I help him see that it's not an actual problem)...he will cycle back to that problem later. His anxiety makes him depressed which makes him more anxious which makes him more depressed.
He is already on antidepressants but says they don't help. His PCP referred him to a psychiatrist...which was a nightmare just trying to get an appt with one(he doesn't go see one until mid December and we hope they can adjust his meds and maybe add a med he can take as needed when his anxiety is very high).
I've tried encouraging him to get out for short walks(the only exercise he can really do now with his health..he's 69). I've tried encouraging him to do what few hobbies he has (he likes to fish...there is a park a mile from their home with a fully stocked pond for fishing). However, many times he will say he will do it..but just stays home instead. Which I know just laying around doing nothing at home will only make him feel worse.
Those that have dealt with similar issues with older parents/relatives...what did you do? His condition is a constant daily stressor to me. It breaks my heart seeing him like this. I just want my dad to feel more content.
16
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:51 am to lsunurse
Do they have pets? Comfort dog FTW
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:54 am to S
My sister has a cat that they all love.
His anxiety/depression is stressing out my mom and brother and sister. They basically walk on eggshells all the time with my dad. My dad is quite happy playing the victim and expects everyone to cater to him. I've given him some tough love wake up calls to tell him how his behavior isn't always fair to them.
His anxiety/depression is stressing out my mom and brother and sister. They basically walk on eggshells all the time with my dad. My dad is quite happy playing the victim and expects everyone to cater to him. I've given him some tough love wake up calls to tell him how his behavior isn't always fair to them.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:55 am to lsunurse
Serious answer, get him some good pot.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:56 am to lsunurse
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/16/21 at 4:38 pm
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:56 am to lsunurse
Has he been checked for dementia? My Mom was becoming apathetic about a lot of things, and was eventually diagnosed with dementia.
Of course, the quack she was seeing at the time may have had something to do with that. fricker had her on anti-psychotics.
Of course, the quack she was seeing at the time may have had something to do with that. fricker had her on anti-psychotics.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 9:58 am to cubsfinger
quote:
Serious answer, get him some good pot.
My husband said something similar. I would not be against him getting on medical marijuana. My dad does love brownies and edibles are very easy to get out here. Don't know if that would interact with all the meds my dad is currently on(he has other health issues..takes like 12-13 pills a day).
I'm gonna go with him to his psychiatrist appt. While I realize they will want to speak to him privately...I would like to talk to the dr as well so I can know what the plan is. Also want to stress to the dr the severity of the anxiety(my dad has a tendency to downplay things when he sees a dr).
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:00 am to lsunurse
What medication is he currently on?
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:00 am to puse01
quote:
Get him the right meds. Try different ones until you find out what works for him. You should know this.
I know the right meds are key. And that's where the psychiatrist will help. But I also know it's not just meds. Many mental health issues require a combination of things to help with them.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:00 am to lsunurse
Pray over them to get that depression spirit off of them
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:01 am to lsunurse
Also check to see if some of his other meds are causing or increasing this as possible side effects.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:02 am to SW2SCLA
quote:
What medication is he currently on?
I think he is on lexapro?. I'm going over there later today and am helping my dad do this 12 page packet for his psych appt on Dec 12...so I can find out his exact med/dosage then.
I don't have a list of meds he is on...but will make one today to keep for my records.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:03 am to lsunurse
If you can find something that is strand specific, I would recommend anything that is sativa. Also, I'm pretty sure you could do away with half of his medications once he gets the ganja. His BP will come down, anxiety will diminish... he may get diabetes from having the munchies though.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:04 am to Dorothy
quote:
Also check to see if some of his other meds are causing or increasing this as possible side effects.
Yeah, the pharmacist tipped off my brother as to the type of medication my Mother was taking. And that's probably only because we've known the guy for years.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:05 am to biggsc
quote:
Pray over them to get that depression spirit off of them
I know you make this post in jest but I do pray daily for peace for my father.
My dad has shown interest in going to church. Another thing I encourage him to do to get out of the house(plus my mom wants to go as well). Figure it is something positive for him to hear and gets him out of the house and can distract him from his worries at least for an hour.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:06 am to lsunurse
quote:
What medication is he currently on?
Other meds could be making things worse (ie beta blocker = depression).
Agree with dementia screen and adjusting to different depression/anxiety meds.
Finding a psychiatrist worth a damn is nearly impossible.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:06 am to lsunurse
I won't be of any help, other than to tell you I can relate. I just got home from being at my 85 year old mom's for Thanksgiving. It IS hard to watch the person you be relied on your whole life become the dependent one in the relationship. I'm learning more and more about my mom every time I'm with her.
Like your dad, my mom can't deal with anything without it getting all out of proportion. I wish I understood it, but don't. All I can do is take care of as much as I can when I'm there, as well as long-distance when I'm not.
I wish you good luck, but I really believe that your profession will serve you very well in this. Nurses are usually very level headed and calm during times of crisis.
Like your dad, my mom can't deal with anything without it getting all out of proportion. I wish I understood it, but don't. All I can do is take care of as much as I can when I'm there, as well as long-distance when I'm not.
I wish you good luck, but I really believe that your profession will serve you very well in this. Nurses are usually very level headed and calm during times of crisis.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:08 am to lsunurse
I feel for you. My father has had similar issues and it has turned into Dementia. His started with anxiety and excessive energy. He would literally work in his yard for 12 straight hours, doing nothing. There were other signs, you couldn’t have very long conversations with him. He would just get up and leave. I suspect he hid it for a long time and we just didn’t recognize what was rally going on.
I hope yours is not the same. I suggest taking to a Neurologist to get him checked out. The sooner, the better.
Good luck.
I hope yours is not the same. I suggest taking to a Neurologist to get him checked out. The sooner, the better.
Good luck.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:10 am to Dorothy
quote:
Also check to see if some of his other meds are causing or increasing this as possible side effects.
Will do. I've mentioned the depression/anxiety to his PCP and they just changed his dosage. His last appt it was because I was so insistent with his PCP that his anxiety is a huge problem that he referred him to a psychiatrist. Otherwise his PCP was just gonna say "well..keep taking the antidepressants..they will work"
I will say it is a nightmare trying to get a psychiatrist appointment. There is no way my dad would have been able to make an appointment on his own. I basically spent 4 hours on the phone calling around before I could finally find one that had an opening before February.
shite like this is why we have such a huge mental health problem. It shouldn't be this difficult to seek non emergent mental health help.
Posted on 11/26/17 at 10:13 am to lsunurse
quote:
I don't have a list of meds he is on...but will make one today to keep for my records.
I'd highly recommend doing this and presenting to his psychiatrist as well.
Lexapro is an SSRI. If that's not effective for him they could try another SSRI, or possibly an SNRI such as Effexor (FDA approved for general anxiety disorder, panic attacks).
So many of psychiatric patients don't have the support system your dad has. Keep encouraging him to stay as active as he can (I'm not sure of his physical health issues). Also, I think a dog would be a great idea if he's interested in it. I hope he gets back to being his old self
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