California is being invaded

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That fish stinks. Even its official name isn’t much better than penis fish. It’s the “fat innkeeper worm.” No good options between those two. I’d rather be a dick than fat, and I say that as someone who is both. Half the time California seems like the world’s paradise, and then the other half of the time it’s either completely on fire or being taken over by penis fish. Not worth the good half, in my humble opinion.

The ocean’s so goddamn weird. What the hell is going on down there? Where did these penis fish even come from? Do you think they get respect from the rest of the ocean? Stupid question, of course they don’t. I can just picture a shark seeing these assholes slink by. “Hey dickhead, where you going? Hang out with your pal the sperm whale?” And other penis fish type insults lobbed in their direction. No wonder they’re trying to come up here on land and hope for a new life. Will it work? I’m going to make sure that it does not. Get back in the water, weirdos.

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