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Started By
Message
Office Quotes.....
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:00 pm
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:00 pm
11
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:01 pm to coachLSU
one of mine
Michael: OK, so, let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.
Stanley: I'm sorry?
Michael: Um, what do you play? Center?
Stanley: Why "of course"?
Michael: Uh...
Stanley: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Uh, I don't know. I don't remember saying that.
Jim: Uh, I heard it.
Michael: Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um... other starters... Me, of course. I heard it that time.
Michael: OK, so, let's put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley of course.
Stanley: I'm sorry?
Michael: Um, what do you play? Center?
Stanley: Why "of course"?
Michael: Uh...
Stanley: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Uh, I don't know. I don't remember saying that.
Jim: Uh, I heard it.
Michael: Well, people hear a lot of things, man. Um... other starters... Me, of course. I heard it that time.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:02 pm to coachLSU
Stanley: Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Michael: Really?
Stanley: Oh, yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Michael: God, Stanley, that's frickin' brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.
Stanley: Oh, no, that's ok. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.
Michael: No kidding.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:05 pm to coachLSU
Any random line by Creed. He is my favorite character.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:07 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
Any random line by Creed. He is my favorite character.
Creed:I've been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:11 pm to coachLSU
Michael: OK, Ryan. You told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell?
Creed: I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
Kevin: I love fake boobs. Often times, you find them on strippers.
Creed: I find it offensive. Au natural, baby. That's how I like 'em. Swing low, sweet chariots.
Creed: I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
Kevin: I love fake boobs. Often times, you find them on strippers.
Creed: I find it offensive. Au natural, baby. That's how I like 'em. Swing low, sweet chariots.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:11 pm to barry
Kevin: I'd like a magazine.
Linda: We just need urine, sir.
Kevin: I'd still like one.
Linda: We just need urine, sir.
Kevin: I'd still like one.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:14 pm to coachLSU
Michael: Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special, baseball cap on backwards, baggy pants... he says something ordinary like... 'yo, thats shizzle.' Okay. Now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:23 pm to coachLSU
quote:
Dwight: I don't have a lot of experience with vampires. But I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:35 pm to coachLSU
Michael: When I discovered Youtube, I didn't work for 5 days!
Michael: I'm prison Mike!
Michael: I'm prison Mike!
Posted on 4/28/09 at 12:43 pm to SmackDaniels
"Bears beat BattleStar Galactica. FACT"
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:13 pm to tigerguy121
quote:
Andy: [in bathroom] I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. So... I take precautions. [tapes a cotton ball to each nipple]
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:20 pm to LSUftown22
Michael: I'm not superstitous...but I'm a little-stitious."
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:27 pm to jameison125
Dwight: Once I'm officially Regional Manager my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:28 pm to coachLSU
When Kevin asked the girl out on the date, and then looked down and said, "boobs." I laughed louder at that than any other time.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:30 pm to Slickback
and when Phyllis said, "I don't know what people like best about me...probably my jugs"
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:38 pm to coachLSU
Thanks for the site bump, Coach. 
And I could never pick a favorite, but I often think of this one and laugh:
Michael: Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And... I have a great one [types]. Little kid lover. That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
And I could never pick a favorite, but I often think of this one and laugh:
Michael: Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And... I have a great one [types]. Little kid lover. That way, people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 1:47 pm to adamsblueguitar
quote:
Michael: What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went -- I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.
Posted on 4/28/09 at 2:26 pm to coachLSU
From last week
Michael: Oh how turn tables...
Michael: Oh how turn tables...
Posted on 4/28/09 at 2:42 pm to coachLSU
Michael: "Grillin' up some man meat!"
Dwight: "I'll have some of your man meat Michael."
Dwight: "I'll have some of your man meat Michael."
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