re: How to Get Rich - netflix

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my ? To those with separate accounts- what problem does it solve? Or to put it another way, what problem does a joint account create?

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One person micromanages their account, writes down every single penny that comes out of the account and demands receipts from the spouse to quell his/her anxiety. The other person checks the account online about once every two weeks and easily keeps a running tally of where the money is coming in and where it is going out. The two are very compatible in spending habits with the highest earner auto depositing 1/4-1/3-1/2 of her/his take home into the other’s account every month. The lower earner gets to spend more freely without being fussed about spending too much. The higher earner gets to save the way they want without being fussed about squeezing the life out of a nickel and not enjoying life.

There are plenty of examples, this is just one in a litany of them. The joint account people are convinced there is only one way to skin a cat while the separate account people are fine with just letting that be and.not arguing. I suspect most joint accounters on here are more type A, controlling or set in their ways than the separate accounters. It avoids one person becoming controlling of the finances because both have to actively manage their money.

Another example is spouse one has big creditors and spouse two has none, particularly student loan debt.

For couples with joint accounts, probably in excess of 90% have one member that is more money savy than the other. This person wants to make sure they have control of money. The thought of separate accounts takes away some of their control. It is much less about transparency than it is control of knowing where the money is going.

Both ways will work and do work for many people. It just requires reasonable minds.

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Another example is spouse one has big creditors and spouse two has none, particularly student loan debt.

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I can see a scenario where this would advantageous.

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I think it’s a poor decision being promoted for people our age to become consoomers and not promote good financial habits

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Serious question. I am trying to understand how having separate accounts or joint accounts promote good financial habits. Is this about most couples failing to communicate?

I honestly have never put much thought into it but this thread has shown pros and cons to both situations. It's almost like it depends on the people involved.

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Serious question. I am trying to understand how having separate accounts or joint accounts promote good financial habits.

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Having a joint account doesn’t in and of itself make you good with money, but it does promote accountability in my experience. Any dumb purchase can still happen, but your partner can know about it if he or she wants, so you presumably will run the decision through that mental filter first.

I also think, and the separate account folks in this thread seems to suggest, that separate accounts are used for spending on the things people want individually. That implies they wouldn’t be an agreed upon joint purchase, hence the propensity to spend more individually than you would together.

Lastly, from the financial planning side, I can tell you that I’ve never seen a couple with separate accounts that has saved appropriately for each of their individual spending needs. Obviously that’s only anecdotal, but it’s something. Spending separate money when you’re working to make more is one thing, but doing it when you’re in the withdrawal phase of your retirement is a completely different story.

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Not just directed at you -

But who pays if you go out to eat at Chick-fil-a one night?

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whoever happened to be first in line and placed the order. Zero thought whatsoever to keeping any kind of tabs here

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Who pays if you eat a $200 dollar meal the next night?

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those are few and far between ha. Any ol' sit down dinner we'd probably just rotate on who got the bill. Unless it was for a specific purpose, like me taking her out for her bday or something

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Who pays if you go out with your friends to Top Golf and run up a $200 bar tab?

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there isn't any kind of running tab or checklist it would just depend. In the situation exactly as you described it'd definitely be me since I'd be the one doing all the drinking and eating and golfing.


Whenever this topic comes up a lot of times people just wait to throw out the tired 'gotcha' of "well that doesn't sound like a marriage it sounds like a roommate!!! lmaaaoo" but I've never really understood that supposed insult. I don't know many roommates that bang and share a bed and have kids and a mortgage together etc etc. Our financial situation worked before we met, it worked while we were dating, and continues to work now while married.

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The joint account people are convinced there is only one way to skin a cat

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I still have not heard 1 benefit of separate accounts for a healthy couple. Yes, you can hide money, hide spending and add complexity for what?

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This person wants to make sure they have control of money.

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In a joint account no one person has total control even if they wanted. Your spouse can transfer money without getting your approval. They can open CCs that you don't know about.

If someone is toxic and tries to completely control where all the money is spent (not just joint conversations and awareness but actual control the spending) separate accounts won't solve the issue. That person has issues and will either blow up further down the road or project that lack of control into other areas of their life.

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It is much less about transparency than it is control of knowing where the money is going.

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It is really about transparency and simplicity. What does "control of knowing where the money is going" mean? Does that just mean knowing where the money is going i.e. transparency or does that mean actually controlling where it goes?

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Have you read my posts in this thread?

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yes... you should go back and read them. for example,

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separate account folks try to argue that needing to have a joint account implies a lack of trust,

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which couldn’t be further from the truth.

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why do you say that... you assume there is one outcome.

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ignorance is bliss in response to someone that said separate accounts avoid fights about money. If the only think keeping you from fighting about money is not knowing what the other spouse is doing, then ignorance is bliss, no?

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both of these statements is a pure pretentious mindset from your anecdotal experience. Did you say you were a financial advisor? or was that upperdecker.... could it be that only people with money problems used your service?

Question.... are you married? if so... and you have a joint account 1 money pot..... you want to buy a thinkamabob, its not very expensive but its not cheap... Its something you have always wanted...And your wife says no.... what do you do?

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's almost like it depends on the people involved.

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no slack and upper said only joint account is best way for moneys.

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I still have not heard 1 benefit of separate accounts for a healthy couple.

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So you want to hide your spending from your wife and have your wife hide her spending from you. I understand but doesn't seem very healthy.

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please explain to me where the hiding is....... he can see her purse..... she can see his fly rod..... What are they hiding?


We are fricking adults.... If you are fiscally responsible, and have disposable income.... why should you need to get permission to get it? I mean i get it is you are not fiscally responsible..... Are you proving that joint accounts are best for non fiscally responsible people? Ill, and most here, will probably agree to that.