- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Daycare or pay for my mom's health coverage so she can watch kids?
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:00 am
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:00 am
So Mrs. Gumbo and I are very seriously considering making roux for a 2nd gumbo this summer. We already have one 3 year old and my mother in-law watches him a few hours every day when he's out of his "Mommy & Me" daycare school. Problem with our current set up is we pay $250 a month for his "Mommy & Me" thing and my 72 year-old mother in-law is getting tired, both physically and especially mentally. My father in-law has had a stroke in the past and is also having some serious mental lapses in judgement. He has times when he allows my son to partake in activities around their house that a 3 year old shouldn't do (such as ride the mower with the blade on, weedeating with him nearby which has resulted in something being flung into my son's eye, sitting on the table while he leaves the room, etc) so as you can imagine both my wife's parents are in no condition to continue watching my son and sure as hell can't watch a future 4 year old and a newborn baby at the same time.
My parents still both work, with my dad being on medicare and my mom being only 61 so she can't retire yet since she needs health coverage. This rules both of them out since retirement isn't an option for them. Maybe dad, but he's not gonna watch a 4-year old and a newborn
.
That brings me to my desperate plan: I would like to know the Money Talk's opinion on me paying for an individual health plan for my mom which would allow her to stop working and watch my kids.
In my opinion, the cost of healthcare for her at her age would be cheaper than daycare for two kids. Am I right?
Am I being an idiot and not thinking about a flaw in this plan or does this seem feasible?
My parents still both work, with my dad being on medicare and my mom being only 61 so she can't retire yet since she needs health coverage. This rules both of them out since retirement isn't an option for them. Maybe dad, but he's not gonna watch a 4-year old and a newborn
. That brings me to my desperate plan: I would like to know the Money Talk's opinion on me paying for an individual health plan for my mom which would allow her to stop working and watch my kids.
In my opinion, the cost of healthcare for her at her age would be cheaper than daycare for two kids. Am I right?
Am I being an idiot and not thinking about a flaw in this plan or does this seem feasible?
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 9:04 am
15
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:09 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
In my opinion, the cost of healthcare for her at her age would be cheaper than daycare for two kids. Am I right?
Probably not.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:18 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
In my opinion, the cost of healthcare for her at her age would be cheaper than daycare for two kids. Am I right?
Well, one thing you might not be considering is that you can write off daycare expenses for the kids on your taxes. I'm not sure you can do the same for paying for you mom's health coverage.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:27 am to Hammond Tiger Fan
quote:
Well, one thing you might not be considering is that you can write off daycare expenses for the kids on your taxes. I'm not sure you can do the same for paying for you mom's health coverage.
Yea, I thought about that. However, you can't put a price on someone who loves your children unconditionally being their caretaker as well. Not saying a daycare can't properly care for children but I would be much more comfortable with my mom watching them rather than 19 year old college students stuck up their cellphones.
Then there's the whole socialization thing that my kids would miss out on if my mom watches them so that's a strike against my plan. The not being able to write off the cost of my mom's health coverage isn't a big deal to me.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:38 am to TDsngumbo
Careful with this plan. It's likely the IRS would deem her an employee of yours and if you don't pay employer taxes, it could bit you in the arse. They may not ever discover it, but I wouldn't take the risk.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:40 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
Yea, I thought about that. However, you can't put a price on someone who loves your children unconditionally being their caretaker as well. Not saying a daycare can't properly care for children but I would be much more comfortable with my mom watching them rather than 19 year old college students stuck up their cellphones.
Then there's the whole socialization thing that my kids would miss out on if my mom watches them so that's a strike against my plan. The not being able to write off the cost of my mom's health coverage isn't a big deal to me.
Sounds like you have your mind already made up to me. Just roll with what you have decided and if it doesn't work out, go to something else. Parenting is all guesswork anyway. I've been a parent for 13 years now and I'm constantly guessing on what's the best thing to do for my kids.
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 9:42 am
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:44 am to TDsngumbo
When you compare your out of pocket costs, it might make sense.
However, it is well worth the extra money to avoid your kids being an inconvenience to your mother, and also a good measure to avoid establishing a business-like relationship between the two of you.
I have been in your situation, and trust me - they WILL be an inconvenience to her, and it WILL feel like a professional relationship. No matter how sweet the kids are.
Just pay for daycare and let her watch them whenever she is able.
However, it is well worth the extra money to avoid your kids being an inconvenience to your mother, and also a good measure to avoid establishing a business-like relationship between the two of you.
I have been in your situation, and trust me - they WILL be an inconvenience to her, and it WILL feel like a professional relationship. No matter how sweet the kids are.
Just pay for daycare and let her watch them whenever she is able.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 9:57 am to TDsngumbo
What if your Mom gets sick and can no longer watch the kids? Will you still pay for her health care, along with day care?
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:01 am to TDsngumbo
Do you care what the kid is actually doing during the day? Please don't think I'm making negative assumptions about your parents. But what would a typical week with the grandparents be like compared to a typical week at daycare.
Grandparents will bring them to the park, spoil them materially, maybe read a book every now and then, and love them to death every hour of the day. But there is probably not alot of structure in how/when they eat, when they nap, when they read, when they play...It's understandable that a grandparent may get tired and rely on TV and screens, and offer less physical activity.
IMO, the kids need the structure offered by daycare if a parent isn't available. Especially around 2-4 years old. I know paying for daycare sucks, but you should be paying for more than just supervision and a roof over the kids head. Food programs, educational programs, social interaction, discipline, authority, routines, etc...
So even if the money comes out even, or to advantage Grandma, consider what you're actually getting for it.
Grandparents will bring them to the park, spoil them materially, maybe read a book every now and then, and love them to death every hour of the day. But there is probably not alot of structure in how/when they eat, when they nap, when they read, when they play...It's understandable that a grandparent may get tired and rely on TV and screens, and offer less physical activity.
IMO, the kids need the structure offered by daycare if a parent isn't available. Especially around 2-4 years old. I know paying for daycare sucks, but you should be paying for more than just supervision and a roof over the kids head. Food programs, educational programs, social interaction, discipline, authority, routines, etc...
So even if the money comes out even, or to advantage Grandma, consider what you're actually getting for it.
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 10:04 am
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:06 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
That brings me to my desperate plan: I would like to know the Money Talk's opinion on me paying for an individual health plan for my mom which would allow her to stop working and watch my kids.
You are making this way too complicated.
Just pay for daycare for both of them.
Yes, it is expensive.
But no way in hell is it more expensive than paying for a 61 year old's health insurance.
And don't think your parents are going to want to babysit your kids 40 hours a week. It's odd that you've come to this solution offered above.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:22 am to deeprig9
Yes, it's great to have grandma very involved in your child's life. But not all 61 year olds are mentally or physically able to handle one toddler for 8 hrs a day, nonstop...and really not interested in doing so for an infant plus a toddler 40 hrs a week. If Mom is a preK teacher or an early childhood specialist, then perhaps she would really love it.
But not every grandma wants to be the primary caregiver for two tiny children in the retirement years. You have not mentioned how she might feel about this.
Also, opinions on discipline and structure vary widely: is your mom gonna substitute-parent your kiddo according to you & wife's preferred methods, or are you inadvertently setting up a power struggle between her rules & methods and your own? There are some undeniable benefits to quality day care; namely, a whole bunch of peers for your child. Staying at home with grandma isn't gonna get him/her well socialized with other children, unless grandma knows lots of other people staying home with small children.
Have you even priced health care for her age/location? It can be scarily high for that age bracket.
But not every grandma wants to be the primary caregiver for two tiny children in the retirement years. You have not mentioned how she might feel about this.
Also, opinions on discipline and structure vary widely: is your mom gonna substitute-parent your kiddo according to you & wife's preferred methods, or are you inadvertently setting up a power struggle between her rules & methods and your own? There are some undeniable benefits to quality day care; namely, a whole bunch of peers for your child. Staying at home with grandma isn't gonna get him/her well socialized with other children, unless grandma knows lots of other people staying home with small children.
Have you even priced health care for her age/location? It can be scarily high for that age bracket.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:24 am to MSMHater
quote:
Do you care what the kid is actually doing during the day? Please don't think I'm making negative assumptions about your parents. But what would a typical week with the grandparents be like compared to a typical week at daycare.
Grandparents will bring them to the park, spoil them materially, maybe read a book every now and then, and love them to death every hour of the day. But there is probably not alot of structure in how/when they eat, when they nap, when they read, when they play...It's understandable that a grandparent may get tired and rely on TV and screens, and offer less physical activity.
IMO, the kids need the structure offered by daycare if a parent isn't available. Especially around 2-4 years old. I know paying for daycare sucks, but you should be paying for more than just supervision and a roof over the kids head. Food programs, educational programs, social interaction, discipline, authority, routines, etc...
So even if the money comes out even, or to advantage Grandma, consider what you're actually getting for it.
All very good points I haven't thought of but you're correct. Hmmm, that actually makes me want daycare now. Thanks man.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:34 am to TDsngumbo
You're welcome. I'm also making the assumption that your preferred daycare is competent, and possesses all the traits I mentioned.
Make sure they do. I went through 4 of them before finding a place both mom and I were/are comfortable with. Don't 2nd guess your instincts about who is taking care of your kid.
Make sure they do. I went through 4 of them before finding a place both mom and I were/are comfortable with. Don't 2nd guess your instincts about who is taking care of your kid.
This post was edited on 4/10/18 at 10:34 am
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:53 am to TDsngumbo
Pay for your mom's healthcare. If you pay someone else for daycare, that money's gone. If you pay for your mom's healthcare, she might be around longer than she otherwise would.
It's a no-brainer as long as it doesn't break your bank.
It's a no-brainer as long as it doesn't break your bank.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 10:58 am to TigerstuckinMS
quote:
Pay for your mom's healthcare. If you pay someone else for daycare, that money's gone. If you pay for your mom's healthcare, she might be around longer than she otherwise would.
She is going to have healthcare either way.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 11:42 am to TigerAlum1982
quote:
What if your Mom gets sick and can no longer watch the kids? Will you still pay for her health care, along with day care?
What about when the new kid turns five and Mom has a five year gap in work experience? Will you continue paying Mom's health insurance if she can't go back to work?
Posted on 4/10/18 at 11:45 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
What about when the new kid turns five and Mom has a five year gap in work experience? Will you continue paying Mom's health insurance if she can't go back to work?
Idk why have a vested interest in this thread, but at that point mom would be 66 and would be covered under medicare.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 11:46 am to ATLdawg25
quote:
Idk why have a vested interest in this thread, but at that point mom would be 66 and would be covered under medicare.
Good point.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 11:48 am to TDsngumbo
quote:
my mom being only 61 so she can't retire yet since she needs health coverage.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that health insurance is the only reason she still goes to work everyday.
She probably likes the paychecks she gets.
She probably likes whatever pension/retirement account accruals snowballing every pay period.
She probably likes her eventual SS benefit going higher with every payroll tax deduction every two weeks.
She probably also likes not sitting around watching Judge Judy all day waiting to die.
Posted on 4/10/18 at 11:50 am to TDsngumbo
We were tossing around the idea of asking my wife's sister to be our nanny, but we decided not to mix family and business. It just seems like a recipe that could end up nastily.
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News