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Asking to see a bill from a family member

Posted on 9/5/12 at 7:02 pm
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42537 posts
Posted on 9/5/12 at 7:02 pm
Might not be a money related question, but let's say that you have to pay X amount to a family member each month for your education. The govt takes out around $1,000 and you have to pay a certain amount of that to cover your costs. Is it wrong to ask that family member for you to see the bill before you pay it?

I asked and they were extremely insulted.
Posted by TheHiddenFlask
The Welsh red light district
Member since Jul 2008
18384 posts
Posted on 9/5/12 at 7:04 pm to
Normally, the people who are insulted are the ones who would try and screw you.

Tell them to man up.
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42537 posts
Posted on 9/5/12 at 7:05 pm to
I just got lectured for twenty minutes about it, but my reasoning is that they don't even know how much it is per month (yet can easily find out), but want me to pay a set certain amount each month. It is for a considerable amount of money each year for the next 3 years.
Posted by foshizzle
Washington DC metro
Member since Mar 2008
40599 posts
Posted on 9/5/12 at 8:23 pm to
Tell said family member that in the corporate world, some firms will reimburse you (that's after the semester is over, not ahead of time) but only if you get a B or higher. And you have to submit proof that you paid the amount you said you did.

If you have the money you set the rules. Not the recipient. I would, however, make sure those rules are clear beforehand. Afterward is a bit difficult. If that's the case I would say something like "OK - this time. But it changes from now on. If you don't like it, pay the bill yourself."
Posted by BananaHammock
Member since Aug 2011
13150 posts
Posted on 9/6/12 at 10:31 am to
They are inwardly impressed that you asked, or at least, should be.

There are other reasons you even asked...one or more of them (I'm assuming these are your parents) has given you reasons to doubt them.

When they show you the bill and you guys figure this out, thank them for putting your mind at ease. If it happens to calculate that they are giving you a better deal than you thought, thank them. If you are, in fact, getting hosed, be humble about it and thank them for showing you. They should be embarrassed enough at that point to fix things.

Start with a humble, inquisitive approach. If greeted with arrogance, ask them why they are so defensive.

Lastly, money is usually the only way parents have to control young adults. Get out of school ASAP and start making your own big bucks so you'll never need them again.
Posted by GoHoGsGo06
Member since Nov 2006
5739 posts
Posted on 9/6/12 at 12:30 pm to
quote:

TheOcean
I'd venture to say you should never pay for something you can't see or verify yourself. Hell yes I'd ask my fam to show me the bill. But I am an accountant, they probably expect that i guess.
Posted by BetterCallSaul
Houston/LBK
Member since Aug 2012
9 posts
Posted on 9/7/12 at 3:50 pm to
I agree. Approach it in a "I'm just trying to look out for myself" kinda way. Then again, nobody in my family would ask me to pay a bill without proof since I am an accounting major.
Posted by Brian Wilson
Member since Mar 2012
2022 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 10:03 am to
You have every right to that bill. Sort of like expensing items through work. Different circumstances but same scenario.

I wouldn't pay anymore unless I myself saw the bill. If they were insulted, they're obviously trying to make you feel guilty for not "trusting" them because they are doing something else with the money. Just my take.
Posted by lnomm34
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
12616 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 10:55 am to
quote:

you have to pay X amount to a family member each month for your education


What does this mean? Are they educating you? I'm lost. Why aren't you paying the institution that is educating you?

quote:

The govt takes out around $1,000


Out of what?

quote:

nd you have to pay a certain amount of that to cover your costs


Huh?

Is anyone else as confused as me?
Posted by foshizzle
Washington DC metro
Member since Mar 2008
40599 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 11:08 am to
Yeah, it was pretty confusing. And I have no idea why it matters what the "government" is taking out or how much is involved.

Bottom line - if someone is paying your bills, he has the right to make sure it's getting handled properly.

Don't be like this guy.
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42537 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 11:15 am to


Was trying to be as obscure as possible...should have re-read it.

Basically my law school tuition is covered and subsequently added to my relative's gross income. So they have to pay the increase in taxes which obviously I have no problem covering. I just want to know the exact number before I start dishing out the cash.
Posted by lnomm34
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
12616 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 1:35 pm to
quote:

Basically my law school tuition is covered and subsequently added to my relative's gross income. So they have to pay the increase in taxes which obviously I have no problem covering. I just want to know the exact number before I start dishing out the cash.



Wow. That's WAY more clear. But, crazy. I can understand your reasoning, but geez, that could get pretty complicated, given the complexity of the US Tax Code, no?
Posted by foshizzle
Washington DC metro
Member since Mar 2008
40599 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 3:42 pm to
quote:

I just want to know the exact number before I start dishing out the cash.


You still aren't being clear. What exactly is this relative doing? Paying for your tuition out of pocket? Or lending money to you that you repay monthly? Is there some third party paying your relative who in turn pays your tuition?

I'm trying to understand why your relative's taxable income would go up unless someone is paying him or her. Who is?

ETA: Oh, and if somehow the tax bill does go up slightly I wouldn't worry about being exact. Just pay it and don't question it unless it's outrageously out of line. If you overpay a little he deserves it, after all he is also losing use of the money and takes the risk of not being paid back on time.
This post was edited on 9/8/12 at 3:48 pm
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42537 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 5:44 pm to
Relative works at the law school so the tuition is covered by the school (18k/semester). They tack it on to the overall income and the taxes are increased.


eta: Yeah, you're right. I'll just suck it up and pay it even if I don't find out. ~2k a semester instead of ~18k isn't too shabby.
This post was edited on 9/8/12 at 5:51 pm
Posted by TheOcean
#honeyfriedchicken
Member since Aug 2004
42537 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 5:46 pm to
quote:

pretty complicated, given the complexity of the US Tax Code, no?


It is a pretty complicated process and I have no idea of the specifics
This post was edited on 9/8/12 at 5:51 pm
Posted by lnomm34
Louisiana
Member since Oct 2009
12616 posts
Posted on 9/8/12 at 7:46 pm to
quote:

Relative works at the law school so the tuition is covered by the school (18k/semester). They tack it on to the overall income and the taxes are increased.

eta: Yeah, you're right. I'll just suck it up and pay it even if I don't find out. ~2k a semester instead of ~18k isn't too shabby.



I'd be questioning it as well. The only way you know what you owe them is when they file taxes. They'd have to calculate their tax liabilities with and without your tuition addition. At least that's the way I see it. Then you would pay the difference.

Just a gut feeling: You're not getting screwed. 4k/36k = 11.1%,


ETA: For the record, I'm an engineer and not a tax expert, so I have no idea if what I said is exactly correct. It's just the way I see it. And I have no idea whether my off-the-cuff calculation really reveals anything other than my gut feeling.
This post was edited on 9/8/12 at 7:48 pm
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