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Started By
Message
Twas the Night Before Bama-original poem
Posted on 11/4/22 at 8:50 am
Posted on 11/4/22 at 8:50 am
‘‘Twas the night before Bama,
‘Twas the night before Bama,
And all through Baton Rouge,
The Tigers fans readied,
For the coming deluge,
With dozens of piss balloons,
Filled up with care,
For they knew that ol Nicky,
He soon would be there,
The Tide fans they slept,
With their sisters in bed,
While the visions of playoffs,
Still danced in their heads,
Some people played cornhole,
Some people got drunk,
But I stayed up late making,
Stuffed Elephant Trunk,
When outside I heard,
Such a terrible clatter,
I set down my beer,
To see what was the matter,
Could it be a thief?
A burglar or arson?
A scared Jimbo Fisher?
A drunk Bryan Harsin?
In the light of the moon,
With my one eye I spied,
A big crimson bus,
And the sounds of “Roll Tide”
And then what to my,
Wondering eye would appear,
But a miniature man,
With his eyes full of fear,
Well his hair it had thinned,
And he scowled like a prick
But I knew in a moment,
It must be Ol’ Nick,
Then down out of the bus,
Well his players they came,
Then he screamed at them,
Yelled at them calling them names,
“You know where we’re going,”
He called out to Ricks,
“And keep calm Mr. Burton,
Don’t slap any chicks.”
“Young, Gibbs and McKinstry,
Steen, Moody and Battle!”
He hooted and hollered,
And drove them like cattle,
“Now don’t jump off sides,
And don’t fumble the ball,
But just hold ‘em and hold ‘em,
Until it gets called.”
“Refs will turn a blind eye,
Make the calls we need made,
Just as long as the REC,
Makes sure they’re getting paid.”
Then the players got back,
On the bus and were gone,
Ol Nick stood all alone,
Like a gnome on the lawn,
Then I noticed a difference,
In that crafty old elf,
As he stood next to Nattys,
The size of himself,
His eyes, once so fierce,
They shone now less bright,
Now that Tennessee stole,
Ol Dixieland Delight,
He had so many trophies,
That’s true, but what’s worse,
Is he gave Georgia Hope,
And they’d broken the curse,
Now once more he’d stand,
In the lights of Death Valley,
Where he’d once been the Hero,
Leading Tigers to rally,
Where he’d earned his first Natty,
Cut his champion teeth,
Then left them for another,
In the night, like a thief,
And now he’s the villain,
So cursed and so hated,
But now on the field,
A new challenger waited,
Hungry and vicious,
With nothing to lose,
And a horde of drunk fans,
Hurling verbal abuse,
Yes I think that I saw,
A small tear in his eye,
Perhaps once more Death Valley,
Is where dreams go to die,
He got back on the bus,
With no spring in his gait,
Looking terribly old,
And in fear of their fate,
For the field will be dirty,
And the hits won’t be kind,
Someone’s playoff hopes over,
If the stars are aligned,
Let the home streak be broken,
In this new Kelly Era,
Yes they call it Death Valley,
Let it fill them with Terror.
Twas the Night before Bama-a reading pardon my voice, I’m fighting bronchitis
‘Twas the night before Bama,
And all through Baton Rouge,
The Tigers fans readied,
For the coming deluge,
With dozens of piss balloons,
Filled up with care,
For they knew that ol Nicky,
He soon would be there,
The Tide fans they slept,
With their sisters in bed,
While the visions of playoffs,
Still danced in their heads,
Some people played cornhole,
Some people got drunk,
But I stayed up late making,
Stuffed Elephant Trunk,
When outside I heard,
Such a terrible clatter,
I set down my beer,
To see what was the matter,
Could it be a thief?
A burglar or arson?
A scared Jimbo Fisher?
A drunk Bryan Harsin?
In the light of the moon,
With my one eye I spied,
A big crimson bus,
And the sounds of “Roll Tide”
And then what to my,
Wondering eye would appear,
But a miniature man,
With his eyes full of fear,
Well his hair it had thinned,
And he scowled like a prick
But I knew in a moment,
It must be Ol’ Nick,
Then down out of the bus,
Well his players they came,
Then he screamed at them,
Yelled at them calling them names,
“You know where we’re going,”
He called out to Ricks,
“And keep calm Mr. Burton,
Don’t slap any chicks.”
“Young, Gibbs and McKinstry,
Steen, Moody and Battle!”
He hooted and hollered,
And drove them like cattle,
“Now don’t jump off sides,
And don’t fumble the ball,
But just hold ‘em and hold ‘em,
Until it gets called.”
“Refs will turn a blind eye,
Make the calls we need made,
Just as long as the REC,
Makes sure they’re getting paid.”
Then the players got back,
On the bus and were gone,
Ol Nick stood all alone,
Like a gnome on the lawn,
Then I noticed a difference,
In that crafty old elf,
As he stood next to Nattys,
The size of himself,
His eyes, once so fierce,
They shone now less bright,
Now that Tennessee stole,
Ol Dixieland Delight,
He had so many trophies,
That’s true, but what’s worse,
Is he gave Georgia Hope,
And they’d broken the curse,
Now once more he’d stand,
In the lights of Death Valley,
Where he’d once been the Hero,
Leading Tigers to rally,
Where he’d earned his first Natty,
Cut his champion teeth,
Then left them for another,
In the night, like a thief,
And now he’s the villain,
So cursed and so hated,
But now on the field,
A new challenger waited,
Hungry and vicious,
With nothing to lose,
And a horde of drunk fans,
Hurling verbal abuse,
Yes I think that I saw,
A small tear in his eye,
Perhaps once more Death Valley,
Is where dreams go to die,
He got back on the bus,
With no spring in his gait,
Looking terribly old,
And in fear of their fate,
For the field will be dirty,
And the hits won’t be kind,
Someone’s playoff hopes over,
If the stars are aligned,
Let the home streak be broken,
In this new Kelly Era,
Yes they call it Death Valley,
Let it fill them with Terror.
Twas the Night before Bama-a reading pardon my voice, I’m fighting bronchitis
This post was edited on 11/4/22 at 12:04 pm
Posted on 11/4/22 at 8:54 am to fr33manator
This is legit. Just need some AI art to accompany
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:33 am to fr33manator
Nymeria is vv proud of this!
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:36 am to fr33manator
I am not sure Baton Rouge rhymes with deluge, but
Well done, as always!
Well done, as always!
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:37 am to LSUGrad9295
If people can make it rhyme with fudge, I can make it rhyme with deluge.
Gonna be a wet one tomorrow
Gonna be a wet one tomorrow
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:48 am to fr33manator
Upvoted, well done!
Minor comments:
1. "Just as long as the REC,
Makes sure they’re getting paid.”
What's REC?
2. "Then left them for a rival,
In the night, like a thief"
, kinda leaving out the 3 year stint where he actually left us for the NFL, THEN went to Bama.
Other than that, BRILLIANT!! You get an "A"
Minor comments:
1. "Just as long as the REC,
Makes sure they’re getting paid.”
What's REC?
2. "Then left them for a rival,
In the night, like a thief"
, kinda leaving out the 3 year stint where he actually left us for the NFL, THEN went to Bama.
Other than that, BRILLIANT!! You get an "A"
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:51 am to fr33manator
That is a beautiful piece of poetry.
This stanza nearly killed me
quote:
Could it be a thief? A burglar or arson? A scared Jimbo Fisher? A drunk Bryan Harsin?
This stanza nearly killed me
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:51 am to BRich
quote:
What's REC?
Red Elephant Club. Basically their booster club that allegedly pays the players.
Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:53 am to BRich
quote:
1. "Just as long as the REC, Makes sure they’re getting paid.” What’s REC?
I’ll let someone else explain it but it’s basically the Gump Illuminati
quote:
kinda leaving out the 3 year stint where he actually left us for the NFL, THEN went to Bama.
Yeah, but that doesn’t really fit well in 2 stanzas. Took Some artistic license
Posted on 11/4/22 at 10:25 am to fr33manator
quote:
The Tide fans they slept,
With their sisters in bed,
While the visions of playoffs,
Still danced in their heads,
quote:
You know where we’re going,”
He called out to Ricks,
“And keep calm Mr. Burton,
Don’t slap any chicks.
Posted on 11/4/22 at 10:30 am to fr33manator
quote:
Like a gnome on the lawn
Posted on 11/4/22 at 10:31 am to fr33manator
These usually suck but this one is great. Good job.
Posted on 11/4/22 at 10:32 am to memphisplaya
quote:
Red Elephant Club. Basically their booster club that allegedly pays the players.
They do quite more than that. They fill the SEC offices in Birmingham. They influence refs. Heck, they've even had one of their own whacked!
Posted on 11/4/22 at 10:35 am to fr33manator
This is the part where I lol'd.
quote:
Then the players got back,
On the bus and were gone,
Ol Nick stood all alone,
Like a gnome on the lawn,
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