- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
LSU Job is for Closers Only
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:11 am
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:11 am
Stud Bud: Let me have your attention for a moment! 'Cause you're talking about what? You're talking about...[puts out his cigarette]...bitching about that recruit you lost, some son of a bitch don't talk like us, somebody don't want to come here, some broad you're trying to screw, so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Joe: All but one.
Stud Bud: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. [to Ponamsky] Put that coffee down! Coffee's for closers only. [Ponamsky scoffs] You think I'm fricking with you? I am not fricking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here for the LSU fans. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Ponamsky?
Ponamsky:Yeah.
Stud Bud: You call yourself a T-Boy felon, you son of a bitch?
O:: I don't gotta listen to this shite. [stands up to leave]
Stud Bud: You certainly don't, pal, 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you've got- all you've got- just one year to regain your jobs, starting with this season. Starting with the Miami game. [sardonically] Oh, have I got your attention now? [O sits back down] Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this years bonus. As you all know, first prize is chance to represent the SEC West. Anybody wanna see second prize? Second place gets you a set of steak knives. Third place is you're fired. [Esminger, Sullivan, and Mcmahon glance uncomfortably at each other]Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now? You got the resources. LSU paid good money. Get the recruits to sell them! You can't close with the resources you're given, you can't close shite, you are shite, hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going out!
Ponamsky: The fans are weak.
Stud Bud: The fans are weak. frickin' fans are weak? You're weak.
Joe: All but one.
Stud Bud: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important. [to Ponamsky] Put that coffee down! Coffee's for closers only. [Ponamsky scoffs] You think I'm fricking with you? I am not fricking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here for the LSU fans. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Ponamsky?
Ponamsky:Yeah.
Stud Bud: You call yourself a T-Boy felon, you son of a bitch?
O:: I don't gotta listen to this shite. [stands up to leave]
Stud Bud: You certainly don't, pal, 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you've got- all you've got- just one year to regain your jobs, starting with this season. Starting with the Miami game. [sardonically] Oh, have I got your attention now? [O sits back down] Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this years bonus. As you all know, first prize is chance to represent the SEC West. Anybody wanna see second prize? Second place gets you a set of steak knives. Third place is you're fired. [Esminger, Sullivan, and Mcmahon glance uncomfortably at each other]Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now? You got the resources. LSU paid good money. Get the recruits to sell them! You can't close with the resources you're given, you can't close shite, you are shite, hit the bricks, pal, and beat it 'cause you are going out!
Ponamsky: The fans are weak.
Stud Bud: The fans are weak. frickin' fans are weak? You're weak.
4
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:11 am to Stud Bud
O: What's your name?
Stud Bud: frick! YOU! That's my name!! You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Shrimp boat to get here! That's my name! [to Ponamsky]And your name is "you're wanting". And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. [at a near whisper] Then go home home and tell your wife your troubles. [to everyone again] Because only one thing counts in this life! Get the recruits to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you frickin' ****s? [Stud Bud flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.]A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing! A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's frick or walk. You close, or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?! And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there! You got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get outta the rain? A recruit don't walk on the campus lest he wants to sign. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their commitment! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? [Ponamsky glares.]
O: Incredible.
Stud Bud: [to O] What's the problem, pal? You. O. [Stud sits down.]
O: You're such a hero, you're so knowledgable. How come you're coming down here, waste your time with such a bunch of bums? We COMIN!
Stud Bud: [smiles condescendingly.] You coach the worst loss to MSU and you lose to a Sunbelt team? You comin?!
O: Yeah.
Stud Bud: I've coached just as many successful programs as you. You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. You a Cajun? I don't give a shite. You talk like us? frick you, go home and play with your kids. [to everyone] You wanna work here? Close! [to Sullivan] You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can take the abuse you get on Tigerdroppings ?! You don't like it, leave. I can go out there with the resources you got, and win 8 Games! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A! Get mad, you son of a bitches! Get mad! You know what it takes to win the SEC? [Stud pulls something out of his brief case. He is holding two brass balls on string] It takes brass balls to win the SEC. [STUD puts them away after a pause.] Go and do likewise, gents. The recruits are out there. You sign them, they're yours. You don't, I've got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on this next season and close, close, it's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying, bunch of loser coaches, sitting around in a bar. [in a mocking weak voice] "Oh yeah, I used to be a coach at LSU, it's a tough racket." [Stud takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase.] This is the list of recruits to sign for next year. These are the stud Louisiana recruits. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. [He hands the stack to a whiney looking Joe Alleva.] They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. [to O as he puts on his watch again] And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because the REAL LSU fans who don't have shite for brains asked me to, they asked for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your frickin' arse because a loser is a loser.
Stud Bud: frick! YOU! That's my name!! You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Shrimp boat to get here! That's my name! [to Ponamsky]And your name is "you're wanting". And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. [at a near whisper] Then go home home and tell your wife your troubles. [to everyone again] Because only one thing counts in this life! Get the recruits to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you frickin' ****s? [Stud Bud flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.]A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing! A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's frick or walk. You close, or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?! And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there! You got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get outta the rain? A recruit don't walk on the campus lest he wants to sign. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their commitment! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? [Ponamsky glares.]
O: Incredible.
Stud Bud: [to O] What's the problem, pal? You. O. [Stud sits down.]
O: You're such a hero, you're so knowledgable. How come you're coming down here, waste your time with such a bunch of bums? We COMIN!
Stud Bud: [smiles condescendingly.] You coach the worst loss to MSU and you lose to a Sunbelt team? You comin?!
O: Yeah.
Stud Bud: I've coached just as many successful programs as you. You see, pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. You a Cajun? I don't give a shite. You talk like us? frick you, go home and play with your kids. [to everyone] You wanna work here? Close! [to Sullivan] You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can take the abuse you get on Tigerdroppings ?! You don't like it, leave. I can go out there with the resources you got, and win 8 Games! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A! Get mad, you son of a bitches! Get mad! You know what it takes to win the SEC? [Stud pulls something out of his brief case. He is holding two brass balls on string] It takes brass balls to win the SEC. [STUD puts them away after a pause.] Go and do likewise, gents. The recruits are out there. You sign them, they're yours. You don't, I've got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on this next season and close, close, it's yours. If not, you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying, bunch of loser coaches, sitting around in a bar. [in a mocking weak voice] "Oh yeah, I used to be a coach at LSU, it's a tough racket." [Stud takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase.] This is the list of recruits to sign for next year. These are the stud Louisiana recruits. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. [He hands the stack to a whiney looking Joe Alleva.] They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck, but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. [to O as he puts on his watch again] And to answer your question, pal, why am I here? I came here because the REAL LSU fans who don't have shite for brains asked me to, they asked for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your frickin' arse because a loser is a loser.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:12 am to Stud Bud
What in the frick is this shite?
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:13 am to CaptainPanic
an epic melt. 
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:14 am to CaptainPanic
GOAT movie scene.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:14 am to Stud Bud
You somehow typed more words than you actually know. Well done.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:15 am to CptBengal
quote:
an epic melt.
Oh look, autistic retard still can't say anything other than melt.
I know "melt, SJW cuck" and other buzzwords you repeat like the good little sheep you are.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:15 am to Stud Bud
Second place is a set of stake knives.
Third place you're fired.
About sums it up.
Third place you're fired.
About sums it up.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:16 am to Stud Bud
:cringe:
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:17 am to TH03
quote:
Oh look, autistic retard still can't say anything other than melt.
look how triggered you are by me posting to someone else.
Youre so butt hurt you HAVE to reply to me.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:18 am to Stud Bud
whoah
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:18 am to Stud Bud
I could sit here and listen to the psychotic ramblings of a mad man all day...
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:19 am to CptBengal
quote:
triggered
quote:
butt hurt
I included the catch all, but thanks.
Weaponized autism isn't a joke.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:19 am to Stud Bud
quote:
The fans are weak. frickin' fans are weak? You're weak.
Solid.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:19 am to Stud Bud
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:25 am to TH03
Keep replying stock boy. it shows you aren't triggered.
it shows you aren't triggered.Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:26 am to CptBengal
never been a stock boy. Keep using your buzzwords. It really shows you aren't autistic.
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:28 am to TH03
Buzzwords... like calling me a retard or autist?
You aren't smart enough to even throw out an original insult.
It's pretty sad
Let's see if you can do it again!
You aren't smart enough to even throw out an original insult.
It's pretty sad
Let's see if you can do it again!
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:31 am to CptBengal
quote:
like calling me a retard or autist?
Truth ain't a buzzword.
quote:
You aren't smart enough to even throw out an original insult.
Because you need incredible intelligence to say melt, sjw, cuck, and triggered 90% of the time
quote:
Let's see if you can do it again!
When all else false, take the other person's joke and flip it on them. It's the sure sign you have high intelligence
Posted on 2/7/18 at 11:33 am to TH03
quote:
Truth ain't a buzzword.
it's laughable at this point.
quote:
Because you need incredible intelligence to say melt, sjw, cuck, and triggered 90% of the time
Only to you, and only because it fits.
quote:
hen all else false, take the other person's joke and flip it on them. It's the sure sign you have high intelligence
take what joke you imbecile?
I told you already you HAVE to respond. your feeble self-esteem wont let you walk away.
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News