AN ODE TO THE BAYOU, AND THE REST OF THE SEC

In Baton Rouge the Tigers roar,
While rivals beg for something more.
Death Valley under Saturday lights—
Where championship dreams go to die.

Alabama built a football throne,
Seven rings with Saban alone.
Now every fan keeps pointing back—
The dynasty left, and that's a fact.

Auburn lives on Kick Six lore,
Like it happened the week before.
One miracle every decade's neat,
Still can't escape eight-and-four defeat.

Arkansas calls those Hogs all day,
Then finds new, painful ways to fade.
Every August they're playoff-bound—
By Halloween they're six feet down.

Florida still sells Tebow's name,
Like DVDs from a glory game.
Urban left, the titles too,
Now every coach gets booed by two.

Georgia barks at kids in red,
Acts like football was first invented.
Two great years, and now they swear
History started somewhere there.
Funny thing—they mocked 1980,
Now they pray 2021 stays trendy.

Kentucky dreams of football fame,
Till basketball calls their name.
When Saturdays become a wreck,
March is their emotional check.

Ole Miss throws the South's best bash,
Championships? Those never flash.
Golding whines harder than his defense plays,
Winning headlines, losing Saturdays.

Mississippi State rings cowbells loud,
Like noise alone can make them proud.
The bells stay louder than the score—
That's been true forevermore.

Missouri wandered in by chance,
Won the East in weaker spans.
Now they brag about old runs,
Then disappear before the fun.

Oklahoma talked that blue blood talk,
Then hit the SEC brick wall.
Turns out winning twelve in the Big 12
Is different when every week's hell.

South Carolina beats one ranked team,
Then lives inside that single dream.
Every season starts with fire,
Ends beneath the cellar floor.

Tennessee paints everything orange,
Calls it tradition, calls it gorgeous.
Every September, "We're back!" they yell—
By November they're blaming refs as well.

Texas spent decades saying, "We're back!"
Yet trophies kept avoiding the rack.
More preseason hype than playoff wins—
The brand stays rich, the football thins.

Texas A&M bought stars galore,
Built a palace, raised the floor.
National-title talk each spring...
Then eight wins became the king.
The 12th Man stands loud and proud—
Still applauding an unfilled crowd.

Vanderbilt came here for school,
Which honestly was pretty cool.
You'll own Fortune 500 firms,
While Saturdays just somehow burn.

And through the noise of crimson lies,
Past barking dogs and orange cries,
One Tiger walks with head held high,
Beneath the purple, gold-filled sky.

Joe Burrow carved his name in stone,
The greatest season ever known.
From Cannon's run to Mathieu's fight,
LSU shines beneath the lights.

Lane Kiffin paces, calling plays with swagger and flame,
LSU stands ready, chasing glory and fame.
When Saturday roars, every yard sparks the fight,
Purple, gold, and Rebel red shine bright under the lights.

The rest can argue, boast, and cope,
Cling to hype and borrowed hope.
When Death Valley starts to shake,
The SEC remembers who's awake.
Don't forget the Death Valley Quakes!

"STTDB"
-Neck

GEAUX TIGERS.