re: Welp. Deadlifts got my back. Now what?

I've always gotten the impression you are the long-limbed type, especially in the legs. That makes you a little less suited to deadlifts, and often limits getting properly in the bottom position.

Also, frick touch and go deadlifts - they hurt even technically sound lifters.

What's your training goal? There is no requirement to deadlift, you can attain posterior chain excellence with other movements. Ultimately, I think RDLs will help you, since your leg length won't be a limiting factor.

FWIW, I switched over to strictly RDLs around 33, after a few years doing traditional deads. Once a month, I work up to a heavy double, never reaching what I'd call a true max. After two years, I haven't lost more than about 5-10lbs on this double despite only hitting full deadlifts once a month.