Funny crap you’ve ever seen on a golf course

About the same deal for me with the dog and leaving the gate open. Except I look out the kitchen window and people are chasing my English cocker on the course. I run out there and they’re laughing their asses of, he grabbed one of their balls off the green and wouldn’t give it back.

I was playing in a threesome with my Dad at Colonial CC. The third guy in our group was having a rough day. We hit hole 17 and this dude plunks another ball in the water. He gets so mad that he throws his entire bag in the water and storms off saying he’ll never play again. In 30 days he bought another set of clubs. Epic melt and fun times..

Playing Alex. G&CC. They used to have round balls as tee markers. My BIL hits it low-really low. On 18, he hits it even lower than usual, and squares one of the forward tee marker balls. His ball comes screaming back right through us. One of the funniest parts was, we hit the dirt, but long after the ball was past us.

So he's now in the very middle of 17 fairway with about 450 in on a 400 yard hole.

Playing a two man scramble at the now closed Emerald Hills next to the now closed Hodges Gardens, with my wife. Several holes the ladies tee is a good bit down the fairway so a 100 yard drive in the fairway from her we are close to the green. Sundays round we are a few shots out of the lead and get to the par 5 16 in which her tee box is somewhere between 100-150 yards past my tee box. I hit my drive and it rolls right next to her tee box. I explain to her all she has to do is just worm burn her driver, three wood whatever 50-100 yards and we are out 100 yards from the green in two. Even if she hits in the woods a little no biggy. She takes a swing at the ball and it hits the outside of the driver closest to her and dribbles through her legs and down a crevasse.

Fred’s golf tournament. We’re on the porch, heckling people, betting on them.

We’re talking at this one guy, “Hey fat arse, fat arse, I got $10 says you go in the water!” Well, I made $10 off my buddy bc he damn near missed the ball. He shanked it off the cart, it came back and hit him in the nuts. It did not go in the water

Minutes later, his buddy is going retrieve his ball near the water, the drunk frick gets out to piss in the pond and give us the finger, he fell straight into his piss pool. Technically, his ball did eventually go in the water


Second story, not as fun but a good one. Different Fred’s tournament, again heckling, betting, harassing the golfers. (That’s why we take the 8:30 tee time)

One ol baw keeps looking into the patio. Finally, he hits his shot and comes running at the fence. We’re thinking he wants to fight us, no problem, there were plenty of us.

He cuts right past us and start beating the shite out of this guy. I mean working him. He runs through the bar out the front, gets back in his cart and goes about his day.

He comes to the bar later and we’re talking about the fight. He hears us, comes over and tells us his story. It turns out some douche had been after his ol lady for weeks and he was sitting at the patio with his arm around her. He had enough and took action. He beats that douchebags arse, and dumped the ol lady. Now, he’s a free man.

1. On an elevated green, Angry Golfer misses a putt, sprints for his bag which is standing up and perfect-form-tackles the bag (head up, wrap arms around, and drive to the ground), rolls down the hill with clubs spraying out of the bag.

2. Angry Golfer pulls drive into the lake. They’ve got gallery ropes up for a future pro tournament, and he runs and kicks his bag OVER the rope. Angry Golfer raises his arms and says “It's good!”

3. My favorite: Angry Golfer is on hole 18 playing a money match with buddy and needs to get up and down from just off the green. Angry Golfer chunks his chip to about 10 feet from the hole. There’s a mud pit next to the green, and Angry Golfer proceeds to pull out his clubs, one by one, throwing each one with precision (expert club thrower) so that each one sticks in the mud like a dart. He pulls out the last club, putter, and stops. Buddy says, “Throw it!”. Angry Golfer says, “I can’t. I have to make the putt.” Buddy says, “It’s good!”


P.S. Angry Golfer is me.

The par 5 was 15. But you are right. A good drive from the middle tees over the pond & up the hill would be no more than 50 yards beyond the women’s tee. Sad that Emerald is dead. I shed a tear everytime I go by it.

Was a cart/range jockey at a local CC over the summers while I was playing college golf. Me, the food and beverage manager, and two assistant pros go play another local club on our day off.

We finish the front 9 and stop for some beers. The other cart with an assistant and the F&B guy pull up to the tee first. The F&B guy jumps out to tee off as he has the honor. As we're pulling up in the other cart, the guy takes a rip and hits the ball between his own legs.

I haven't laughed that damn hard in my life, ever.

Had a standing 4 foursome at country club, all mid=teen handicappers. My buddy misses his 3ft putt on 13, one of about 6 prior to that. Gets so pissed, he tosses his putter over his head and backwards. It lands in a small cedar tree and hangs up. He stomps over, shakes this 15ft tree to get his club back. It falls out. And three more.

Probably about 20 years ago or so, me and a buddy were playing Webb Park. By about the 11th hole, we caught up with another pair and played the rest of the round with them. These dudes were probably both about 70 years old and we soon learned that these dudes sole purpose in life was to constantly bust each others balls. And they were freaking hilarious.

The best was when we got to 14 (the dogleg left over the canal). One of the ole baws took like an 8 iron to the tee box with him.

His buddy asks him what he was doing, and he said he was going to lay up short of the canal. To which his buddy screamed "You big candy-arse pussy"

Ironically enough, baw #1 hit a nice layup shot short of the canal then his buddy whacked a worm-burner right into the drink. The "I told you so's" lasted a couple holes.