re: Who is the national market for $80k suv's?

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Well, if you HAVE the 500K cash, it can still work for you. If the seller has your 500K, it cannot.

Yeah, you're underwater in the home, but you still have $260K you can deploy.

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Deploy on what, an equity market that at the time had fallen into the shitter? So they would have been both underwater 240k on the financed home and the 260k they had "deployed" would have taken a >20% loss as well?

I think the main issue people ITT are having with you is you've taken the most basic concept of the time-value of money from Finance 101 and are talking down to everybody like you're the smartest guy in the room, while also rationalizing how you blow your cash on horse riding lessons for your little princess...