re: New jobs in Alexandria area

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It is the armpit of Louisiana

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RULES FOR DRIVING IN ALEXANDRIA ?? :
1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is “Elleck”
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Cenla has its own version of traffic rules- Hold on and pray.
3. All directions include at some point, “get on MacArthur Drive”
4. Be prepared for directions relative to restaurants or places. “It’s next to the mall” is a common one. Know the difference between the old WalMart and the new WalMart.
5. Downtown is small, but deceiving. Know your one-way streets and know that your street may dead end at the river or at the hospital.
6. If you actually slow down at a yellow light, you will get rear-ended.
7. Natives will look at you strangely if you ask directions to Coliseum Blvd or Holloway Prairie Rd. It’s 28 West and 28 East.
8. Speed limits anywhere south of Alexandria along Highway 165 or north of Pineville along Highway 165 do NOT mean to cruise 5mph over.
9. All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we are in Deville!"
10. If you actually see someone with their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
11. All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way.
12. The traffic circle is not the roundabout or the rotary you grew up hearing about. Also, it’s the “South Circle.” Before you ask, there is no North Circle (anymore).
13. Horns are used before brakes or blinkers
14. There are 3 bridges to cross the Red River. You must leave Pineville by a certain time each morning if you want to make it to work over the river before 8am. If there is a wreck on the Expressway, just turn around and go back home.
15. Jackson Street at the lunch hour or at the end of the work day is a raceway. Don’t make a left turn unless you want the wrath of Alexandria honking behind you.
16. The wrought iron on windows around town is not ornamental!
17. No one really knows who has the “right of way” at those intersections at the MacArthur Drive service roads. There are no fewer than 7 directions you should check before crossing them.
18. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."
19. US 71 and US 165 follow together once. US 71 and US 167 follow together twice. MacArthur Drive carries all 3 numbers at some point or another. Make sense?
20. If weather forecast even predicts a CHANCE of snow and ice, most bridges will close. I-49 will be useless from the LSUA exit to at least Air Base Road, and travel time to cross from one side of town to the other can be an hour or more. You should just stay home, gather snowflakes and build a mud-man.
A final reminder:
21. If there is to be snow, ice, heavy rain, parades, events at the Coliseum, wrecks on the Circle, wrecks on the bridges, or wrecks on the Expressway, you should just turn around and go home!
*22. To enter the (claybrook cottingham) expressway you must floor it and use your blinker. It isn't a request for right of way, it's a statement that you WILL be merging. We will crash if we must.

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