re: Not Really Political But I Like You People; I Just Committed A Faux Pas

To keep it political, try telling the story as if Biden were telling it:

“Why did you want FAT up there?” I said, stammering.

She gave me a stare, like she wanted to rub the hair down on my legs.

“It’s not FAT. It’s EAT.”

"Now look here, FAT!," I said, in the vernacular of Corn-Pop. "You're a lyin' dog-faced pony soldier!"

Obviously taken aback at the amount of push-ups I could do behind the shed, she asked "what the hell is a lyin' dog-faced pony soldier?"

Aggravated, I had to lay it out for her in painful detail: "It's that which we hold these troolfs to be self-ebbident, that all fat by which in... the, well you know ... the THING!"