re: Relationship Topic: Moving On From A Woman

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Im dealing with a similar thing and while I'm still not completely over it, I think you just have to move on, knowing that it's done. Distract yourself with hobbies and other stuff going on and keep looking for other fish. There is no point in worrying about could have been. Move on. I promise you there are other women out there.

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You're right of course. Deep down I know there's no chance of it ever working out and honestly we aren't even that close now. I figured we chat/text once a month, maybe meet up for an activity every 1 - 2 months. Do you think I should just shut down the friendship as well or stay friends with her?

My man.

Ugh, where do I start.

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The one women I did go on a second date with, I felt like we really connected. I'm not one that can make a lot of people laugh but I could make her laugh pretty easily, usually a pretty good sign. She was cute and I was physically attracted to her. She was a pretty low maintenance down to Earth woman and we are both Catholic and came from small but close families. I was looking forward to a third date with her and she seemed to feel the same way. Heck I figured on the third date I would either kiss and possibly make out with her.

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If you haven't kissed her by the end of the second date, there wasn't a connection.

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To get to the point she messages me two days after the second date and says she liked hanging out with me but doesn't seem me as any more than a friend. Essentially I got "friend zoned". Since we do have some activities in common I took her up on her offer to still be friends.

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Nope. Just sever. I will give her this, at least she had the courtesy to tell you the truth rather than ghost you. I've had that happen once since I got back in the dating scene a few years ago.

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To this day I still look at her and wonder what could've been though. I still have occasional dreams where we are together, in a relationship, cuddling, kissing. Since then I have had no dating luck and really haven't fully moved on from her.

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Stop...just stop right there. Don't think about it. You went on a couple dates. Not like you dated for several months and she called it quits. The more you dwell on it, the more you come off as desperate. Let it go.

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She's been with two guys since me but neither worked out. I get the sense that her biggest flaw is that she really doesn't know what she herself wants in a relationship.

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And? You shouldn't even know this. Cut all ties and move on.

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My point is this, I know it's not healthy to keep wishing and hoping for something that won't ever happen. How do I move on from this? How do I close the book once and for all on us ever being together?

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Get on Tinder, Bumble, Match, whatever. Just keep moving forward. Nothing good ever comes on dwelling on the past.

ETA: Stay the hell away from Plenty of Fish. Nothing good comes from Plenty of Fish.

Go read The Book of Pook

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Please don't continue stalking her.

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FIFY

While I'm betting this is a troll alter, I'll give advice anyway. Next time she wants to hang out, decline. Lie and say you have a first date. The second and third time she calls, you have a second and third date with this pretend woman. One of two things will happen after that. Either she will get jealous and you can try to exploit a 5% chance of changing her mind, or she will leave you alone and you can stop "wondering what might have been."

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She sounds like a solid girl. Be glad she wasn’t a bitch who led you on. When she says you did nothing wrong, she very well may mean it. You don’t have to frick up to not feel a connection with someone.

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That's probably the hardest part of me, just accepting that it wasn't meant to be. Just because I wanted it doesn't mean it was going to work out.

You are right that she is a solid girl. I think that's what has made it so hard. I live in an area where there are a lot of women who are sluts, have a lot of drama, just looking for FWB or riding the c*ck carousel. I live in a major metropolitan area (Orlando) but it's an area where it's hard to find a nice solid girl. She was definitely one that could introduce to mom and dad.

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ETA: Stay the hell away from Plenty of Fish. Nothing good comes from Plenty of Fish.

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That's funny you say that, maybe that was part of my problem. The website we actually met on (and where I had a profile until a month ago) was POF. The site is just junk and more and more I noticed the same pictures on multiple profiles. I would message 20 or 30 women a month and be lucky to get one reply. It's truly a horrible website.

He’s everything you want

He’s everything you need

He’s everything thing inside of you that you wish you could be

He’s says all the right things at exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you and you don’t know why




But I know why, it’s because you’re soft, and nice, meek, and have limited if any sexual experience ... just be happy she didn’t fleece you for a couple more high priced dates before she updated her Facebook profile pic to include some dude you will call a douche

He doesn’t have enough short or long term experience with women

If he did he would realize that this ideal woman he has in his mind, this ideal love story he dreams about doesn’t really exist and that all women have some big flaws happening

The more women he is around and the more he gets to know, the more he’d realize that all these women have some shite and stop idolizing them as though they are some sort of Aphrodite