An Evening of Fellowship Goes Awry ('Tis all my fault): An Epic Poem

Attend!
We have heard the great tales I have told many times on the OT lounge, how my escapades have often been quite discreditable due to my own poor decision making, or so you all have told me. Anyhow, this evening I was invited to join in an agape meal at a small restaurant near my home; a night of food, fellowship, and scholarly discussions, as after all, I am an educator myself.

As we dined this evening, I was surrounded by many a new face, and I must say my company was quite drab, and knew little of sports. Instead, they decided to discuss rhetoric, most notably their annotations from Scott Crider's "The Office of Assertion". It is a riveting read, but I would much rather discuss Louisiana State's upcoming match against the Bulldogs of the Kingdom of Starkville. Just as the second course was being served (it was some sort of vegan gumbo of which I was not a fan), a large cockroach scaled the wall across from my seat.

I alerted an employee of the most deplorable intruder, but, for lack of better terms, he was too much of a namby-pamby to do anything about the situation. The grotesque insect sat on the wall for what seemed like a fortnight, before leaping forth and flying directly towards a gentleman seated at the table adjacent to my own. Just as the vile vermin was about to land on the back of the gentleman's head, I took matters into my own hands, swinging forth with my fist, yet my movements were too swift; I missed the flying fricker completely and nailed the reposed gentleman in the side of the head.

Alas, the evening was ruined! The restaurant had gone silent, and the countenance of my counterparts had gone from merry to cross in a short period of time. I felt the unapproving eyes of my fellow patrons follow me as my unfortunate victim wallowed in agony. At this time, the manager of the restaurant himself had come out and apologized profusely to the injured gentleman, who had sent many a vulgar indignity in my direction. My many apologies held no merit, as the wife of the injured requested that the staff dismiss me from the restaurant for my reckless conduct. I departed in a state of shameful disbelief at the turn of the events of the evening, ardently awaiting the opportunity to grace the OT Lounge with yet another tale of my own misfortune.

END SCENE.

Post Scriptum: Amidst the commotion, the roach was still able to scuttle away unscathed