re: New job offer with 19% bump in salary. Same position with different company

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I've done it 3 times over the last 25 years. I can't imagine a boss getting pissed about it. I've never demanded to walk, but said hey I was approached by XYZ and they made me a really good offer. Twice the offer was matched and the 3rd time was close enough I chose to stay.

If I was the boss I'd want my valued employees to give me the opportunity to keep them.

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This. Unless you are working for a large company with many people that do the same position as you, its very difficult to know an employees actual value.

The idea that you should not present your new situation to your current employer/ supervisor if you enjoy your current job is laughable to me. First off, you don't actually enjoy your job or have a good supervisor if you can't have that conversation on good terms.

It very well could be your company has a promotion or other opportunity coming up to offer you more they just haven't had the opportunity to organize it. It also could easily be they haven't needed a new "x position" in 5 years and the market value has gone WAY up.

As an employer, I want my employees to come to me and I want to help them advance in my own company and elsewhere. That's the only way you keep the best employees really. Most employees that are happy with a stagnant position really are not the best long term. I understand there are exceptions, but my point is that both sides should be promoting moving up for better pay. There are plenty of times in life when you simply are not looking for more pay but if an opportunity presents itself out of nowhere you will stay jump.