re: Is anyone else extremely paranoid about dating apps?

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I have no doubt my picker is broken. I'm in my early 30's. The common trait amongst the men I date is emotional unavailable. Most of the men I find that are eligible (outside of the following:) are freshly divorced or so damaged they can't open their heart. However I respond to confidence and persistence. Pretty much anyone can make an impact on me if they are open-minded, charming, and have social wittiness… lol! There aren't too many men who make the effort IMO. Maybe I’m just plain ole ugly… But at least I’m charming! :-D

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Being single in your early 30s is a danger zone. The problem is that the attractive men your age who are still single can and will go for younger women who haven't hit the wall yet. That means you are pretty much left with divorced men, damaged men, and thirsty betas who you won't be physically attracted to.

I am not accusing you of this but so many women in their 20s just want to "have fun" and "find themselves", in other words, riding the cock carousel and banging a different Brad Thad or Chad every weekend. They don't want to commit or settle down to a men and secure the highest value man they can in their prime years because they think they can do that at any time they want. What these women don't realize is that their prime years are their 20s. Once they hit their late 20s/early 30s they hit the wall and are no longer attractive.

So then they hit the wall and get into their late 20s/early 30s and are no longer as attractive as they were, the same high value men who they used to have sex with don't want to have sex with them anymore. So now these women are like "OK, fun is over, time to find a man to commit to and settle down with". Problem is they want commitment from said high value men who they are physically attracted to. The problem is those high value men don't want anything to do with committing to her, because she is past her prime and these men can get younger pieces of arse instead.

So this leaves the woman in a tough spot. She can continue to hold out for that high value man, but that is not realistic despite what Sex in the City tried to sell women, that they can slut it up in their 20s/30s and land into the outstretched arms of a rich alpha in their late 30s. Doesn't happen that way. So eventually she has to lower her standards. Her biological clock is ticking and if she wants to have kids of her own she has to find a man to commit. That means settling with a providing beta who she is not physically attracted to, but needs for the sperm and resources. So she ends up marrying a man who she despises and is not attracted to at all, but has no other choice. Either that or remain single and become a lonely crazy cat woman.

Women in their 30s who are mad about the options they have for a long term relationship and marriage should have thought twice about that in their 20s prime years when they were rejecting commitment from men left and right because they wanted to "find themselves".