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Police Calm Millennial Protesters By Handing Out Participation Trophies

Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:32 pm
Posted by romans
Benton
Member since Nov 2016
41 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:32 pm
ETA- It's from The Babylon Bee, a Christian satirical site.

LINK



quote:

The shrewd tactic was the idea New York Police Officer Joe Butler, who has three twentysomething children himself, and noted to reporters Thursday that he remembered how his children “never had to deal with losing as they were growing up.”

“It’s a foreign notion to them. Even in sports—win or lose, everyone won, and everyone got a trophy no matter what. This is the millennial way,” he said. “So I had the idea—hey, why not start handing out participation trophies to the protesters, and telling them ‘Hey, you know what? You may have lost the election, but look—everyone gets a trophy. Everyone’s a winner.'”

Seeing how the trophies had an instantaneous calming effect on the millennials and filled them with a sense of fulfillment and achievement, word spread quickly among police departments nationwide, and emergency trophies were procured by the thousands for use at the rallies.

This post was edited on 11/10/16 at 12:40 pm
Posted by RuLSU
Chicago, IL
Member since Nov 2007
8131 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:33 pm to
Nope, not real. I refuse to believe that it can be.
Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:33 pm to
Posted by biggsc
Member since Mar 2009
34614 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:34 pm to
Posted by 3nOut
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Jan 2013
31719 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:35 pm to
Babylon bee is fantastic.

It's satire from a Christian with a legit good sense of humor.
Posted by genuineLSUtiger
Nashville
Member since Sep 2005
76907 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:36 pm to
Man I was so hoping this was real.
Posted by lsucoonass
shreveport and east texas
Member since Nov 2003
69649 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:38 pm to
I hope this isn't real but I wouldn't be surprised.

Can we make the trophies in silver and say 2nd place
Posted by DupontsCircle
Dupont Circle
Member since Jun 2016
5823 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:39 pm to
Please be the onion.
Posted by Wtodd
Tampa, FL
Member since Oct 2013
68460 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:39 pm to
Posted by Wtodd
Tampa, FL
Member since Oct 2013
68460 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:40 pm to
They should pass out participation tampons
Posted by romans
Benton
Member since Nov 2016
41 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 12:41 pm to
quote:

Please be the onion.


It's The Babylon Bee, a Christian satirical site.

But it's still funny.
Posted by Eurocat
Member since Apr 2004
16512 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 1:25 pm to
It's from a satire site like the Onion -

LINK

Posted by GumboPot
Member since Mar 2009
138911 posts
Posted on 11/10/16 at 1:26 pm to
quote:

Seeing how the trophies had an instantaneous calming effect on the millennials and filled them with a sense of fulfillment and achievement,
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