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Family financial disaster?
Posted on 9/27/16 at 7:38 am
Posted on 9/27/16 at 7:38 am
Not my immediate family. I've posted here before, and we are grinding out the Dave Ramsey snowball. Already chopped one down and #2 line of credit is on life support.
This situation, I believe is hopeless. It is a very country tale. It's the end of the line story for an old oil field Baw. I feel plays out for many people back in the motherland. The husband lost his oil and gas job. The wife had already taken a little piss arse job to supplement income. Well now she takes full time hours and is the bread winner. He can't get a job to his liking. Has no grasp of how rock bottom he has gotten. These folks are pushing 60. They can't make a house note? They are scraping for groceries. They've (holy shite) already cashed and torn through their 401k's. Taking the penalty and eating throug the funds.
They are beyond handing them a couple hundred dollars to help them. They need about 70 thousand dollars.
I honestly think they need to file bankruptcy. Also, they have a reason (I won't get into) to file for disability. What would you advise these people to do?
Bankruptcy options?
This situation, I believe is hopeless. It is a very country tale. It's the end of the line story for an old oil field Baw. I feel plays out for many people back in the motherland. The husband lost his oil and gas job. The wife had already taken a little piss arse job to supplement income. Well now she takes full time hours and is the bread winner. He can't get a job to his liking. Has no grasp of how rock bottom he has gotten. These folks are pushing 60. They can't make a house note? They are scraping for groceries. They've (holy shite) already cashed and torn through their 401k's. Taking the penalty and eating throug the funds.
They are beyond handing them a couple hundred dollars to help them. They need about 70 thousand dollars.
I honestly think they need to file bankruptcy. Also, they have a reason (I won't get into) to file for disability. What would you advise these people to do?
Bankruptcy options?
This post was edited on 9/27/16 at 8:35 am
3
Posted on 9/27/16 at 7:54 am to LSU alum wannabe
How do you keep spending knowing that you don't have income rolling in?
Posted on 9/27/16 at 8:26 am to LSU alum wannabe
I wouldn't give them money. At 60 years old you can't help someone that can't pay their mortgage unless its say the spouse of a husband that just passed away and has never worked.
But at that age you should either have your house paid off or enough equity to refinance into a very small payment. If you don't then you've made a ton of bad financial decisions to get there.
The reality is that at 60 if you don't have your finances under somewhat of a control without having to work then you aren't going to be able to be rescued. Its a sinking ship.
They need to file bankruptcy and hit rock bottom, he needs to get whatever job he can and they are going to have to scrape out what they can.
They need to sell their house and pay for something in cash. Its not going to be what they are used to but its no ones fault but their own. Sell their cars and buy some beaters with cash. WIth no car payments and mortgage, and no kids at home your bills all of sudden are not that much.
But at that age you should either have your house paid off or enough equity to refinance into a very small payment. If you don't then you've made a ton of bad financial decisions to get there.
The reality is that at 60 if you don't have your finances under somewhat of a control without having to work then you aren't going to be able to be rescued. Its a sinking ship.
They need to file bankruptcy and hit rock bottom, he needs to get whatever job he can and they are going to have to scrape out what they can.
They need to sell their house and pay for something in cash. Its not going to be what they are used to but its no ones fault but their own. Sell their cars and buy some beaters with cash. WIth no car payments and mortgage, and no kids at home your bills all of sudden are not that much.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 8:41 am to b-rab2
quote:
How do you keep spending knowing that you don't have income rolling in?
They had already dug themselves a credit hole when they did have money coming in. NOW he lost his job, but of course the debt doesn't go away. They've gone from spending on stupid shite to survival mode. Only money for food and shelter.
I think they need to get out of the house if a bankruptcy is not an option? IDK where they go, but they need to simplify. He needs a job! But I feel he is too redneck idiot proud and has too much of a mouth to be "old dude at Lowe's". Plus, again his mouth? He'd be fired within a month for telling a difficult customer to frick themselves!
Posted on 9/27/16 at 8:48 am to baldona
quote:
The reality is that at 60 if you don't have your finances under somewhat of a control without having to work then you aren't going to be able to be rescued. Its a sinking ship.
yep. There is no getting out. I think this is where they are. He is fricking PISSED! Adn has nobody to be pissed at but himself.
quote:
They need to file bankruptcy and hit rock bottom, he needs to get whatever job he can and they are going to have to scrape out what they can.
What is there best bankruptcy option? They'd want to keep the house, but I don't feel this is an option.
quote:
and no kids at home
This will never be an option. One adult son will always be with them. When they pass he will be a ward of the state.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 8:54 am to LSU alum wannabe
Digging deep into the compassion well...this is not a disaster, it is merely a financial reversal. Sure, they're not as prosperous as they were previously. But they sound far from destitute, and they can certainly enjoy their golden years if they're willing to reframe how they define satisfaction.
Sell the damn house. Surely there is a little equity built up there? Find a cheaper place to live, stat. Sell off the toys and less frequently used household goods, trade down to a cheaper, more fuel efficient vehicle. If his wife is now the breadwinner, he'd better take a long, hard look at himself: she may be better off without him, and divorce among senior citizens is rapidly rising.
You say he's too proud and set in his ways to take a retail job. Why is that the only option? He probably has lots of basic carpentry & fix-it skills...start a "honey-do" odd jobs business, no job too small. He could develop a nice little income stream doing the small stuff most contractors/fix-it guys won't touch. I know a semi-retired guy who earns decent money replacing screen doors, changing doorknobs, small interior sheetrock & trim repair, etc--all for little old ladies who give him plenty of referrals to their friends. Maybe he'd rather ride his lawnmower--at $20-40 a pop, he could be cutting yards nearly year round.
I'm rarely ever a fan of bankruptcy, as I was raised to pay my debts, even if it's a few pennies at a time. Nor would I be signing up for disability unless I was completely physically incapable of earning money.
Sell the damn house. Surely there is a little equity built up there? Find a cheaper place to live, stat. Sell off the toys and less frequently used household goods, trade down to a cheaper, more fuel efficient vehicle. If his wife is now the breadwinner, he'd better take a long, hard look at himself: she may be better off without him, and divorce among senior citizens is rapidly rising.
You say he's too proud and set in his ways to take a retail job. Why is that the only option? He probably has lots of basic carpentry & fix-it skills...start a "honey-do" odd jobs business, no job too small. He could develop a nice little income stream doing the small stuff most contractors/fix-it guys won't touch. I know a semi-retired guy who earns decent money replacing screen doors, changing doorknobs, small interior sheetrock & trim repair, etc--all for little old ladies who give him plenty of referrals to their friends. Maybe he'd rather ride his lawnmower--at $20-40 a pop, he could be cutting yards nearly year round.
I'm rarely ever a fan of bankruptcy, as I was raised to pay my debts, even if it's a few pennies at a time. Nor would I be signing up for disability unless I was completely physically incapable of earning money.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 8:57 am to LSU alum wannabe
I don't know anything about bankruptcy. I do know many states there are some restrictions on them affecting your primary residence. So it may be possible to file bankruptcy on everything but the house. But again, I'm going to guess they are in a $250k + house and they need to get into a sub $120k house.
I'm assuming they have a lot of money in vehicles and toys like a boat? They need to sell everything and readjust their lifestyle. They'd have to have made a lot of really bad decisions financially to be that old and not be able to sell off everything and still be able to buy a $120k house with cash, then get new jobs with say a $40-50k family income a year.
I'm assuming they have a lot of money in vehicles and toys like a boat? They need to sell everything and readjust their lifestyle. They'd have to have made a lot of really bad decisions financially to be that old and not be able to sell off everything and still be able to buy a $120k house with cash, then get new jobs with say a $40-50k family income a year.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 9:25 am to LSU alum wannabe
quote:
One adult son will always be with them. When they pass he will be a ward of the state.
I am assuming there is some sort of medical issue or developmental issue here?
Old baw needs to get some income. Without that, it's hard to do much else. He can go cut grass tomorrow. At least it will be something. Keep an eye out for better jobs in the oil patch. I think the jobs will come back... but trying to get hired on at 60 is tough.
Have they talked to the bank about the house? Maybe they can work out something to keep the house. Some kind of deferrment. When some money starts flowing in... groceries, utilities, house note. That's the order.
Have they applied for food stamps? Medicaid?
Posted on 9/27/16 at 9:42 am to hungryone
quote:
If his wife is now the breadwinner, he'd better take a long, hard look at himself: she may be better off without him, and divorce among senior citizens is rapidly rising.
This is also, EXACTLY where they are. So much anger and resentment. They need to decide on how to move forward with or without each other.
quote:
I'm rarely ever a fan of bankruptcy, as I was raised to pay my debts, even if it's a few pennies at a time. Nor would I be signing up for disability unless I was completely physically incapable of earning money.
The disability is with a child. That is a whole other tangent for other boards...
Posted on 9/27/16 at 9:52 am to LSUFanHouston
quote:
Have they talked to the bank about the house? Maybe they can work out something to keep the house. Some kind of deferrment. When some money starts flowing in... groceries, utilities, house note. That's the order.
Talking to the bank, but they are talking about more loans???!!! WTF!!!??? Thats the last thing they need.
quote:
Have they applied for food stamps? Medicaid?
thats my suggestion. I don't know how well it went over. Like a turd in a punch bowl, I assume.
You ALL KNOW this old Baw. Larger than life oil guy. Well the 80's are over, and his 30's are long gone. I know he can not see how his life got to this point. It is sad because its family, but any other person you'd scoff at.
Told my wife last night, they are like us, but x 10... Hopeless debt and to few years left on Earth to get out. Their debt to current income ratio would be like our credit card debt would $250,000 and we were living in a $750,000 house.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 9:53 am to LSU alum wannabe
quote:
One adult son will always be with them. When they pass he will be a ward of the state.
Is this the disability option you're referencing? If so, they need to get the kid on it now.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 9:55 am to baldona
quote:
But again, I'm going to guess they are in a $250k + house and they need to get into a sub $120k house.
sadly, no. The numbers are much lower, but must feel like millions with what they have coming in.
They need to rent. CHEAP! The house they could get from a sale and use of equity?
Posted on 9/27/16 at 10:02 am to Y.A. Tittle
quote:
Is this the disability option you're referencing? If so, they need to get the kid on it now.
Absolutely.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 11:11 am to LSU alum wannabe
quote:
quote:
Is this the disability option you're referencing? If so, they need to get the kid on it now.
Absolutely.
Yes, this x1000. If son/daughter is incapable of supporting him/herself, mom n dad are obligated to help the child get his benefits in order. He should be receiving disability, as he's precisely why SSDI exists: so that people who can't help themselves aren't destitute. This income can help to stabilize the household.
Sorry to hear that one half of the marriage partnership is bitter & unhappy. He's probably also depressed and feeling hopeless, and resistant to therapy or other mental health assistance. If you can find someone he trusts (priest/pastor, old friend, former mentor or boss, old fishing buddy, cousin), maybe you can make a gentle suggestion to that person, saying that he's going through a bad patch and could use some friends. Today, we tend to isolate ourselves just when we need support the most. He's feeling betrayed by the economy, overwhelmed by a lifetime burden of care for his kid, and confused about how to get out of the mess he helped to create. And probably not very self-aware regarding the reasons he & wife have overspent themselves into financial distress.
Compassion is free. Yes, he made bad choices: but do you want to kick a man when he's down, or do you want to offer sympathy, help in the form of support, or do you just want to poke fun at him on a message board? Schadenfreude has a way of biting us all in the arse, eventually. None of us lives an economically or socially perfect life.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 12:53 pm to hungryone
He's incapable of caring for himself. And the parents have done him zero favors in socializing him.
It's tough to see the old extended family unit become so fricked up as they age. These people were part of the noise and backdrop of my childhood and early adulthood. Every large family event, they were there. The Hurricanes of mid 2000's they and many other family members evacuated out here to my home.
As they've all aged, they've all become fricked up in different ways. It won't get better with time. Not unless major changes are made. I'm still just a kid to these people as they are my parents generation. Advice from me would not go over well, or just push them further down a hole, mentally.
I'm giving advice by third person.
It's tough to see the old extended family unit become so fricked up as they age. These people were part of the noise and backdrop of my childhood and early adulthood. Every large family event, they were there. The Hurricanes of mid 2000's they and many other family members evacuated out here to my home.
As they've all aged, they've all become fricked up in different ways. It won't get better with time. Not unless major changes are made. I'm still just a kid to these people as they are my parents generation. Advice from me would not go over well, or just push them further down a hole, mentally.
I'm giving advice by third person.
Posted on 9/27/16 at 1:38 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Proud oil field baw needs to hit rock bottom to lose the pride and bitterness. It may be in his best long-term interest to hasten the impending crash.
Posted on 9/28/16 at 1:17 pm to LSU alum wannabe
Bankruptcy attorney here.
Few questions:
1) What is the extent of their assets?
2) What is the nature of the debts? Are they all unsecured?
3) Does the household have a regular income? How much?
Few questions:
1) What is the extent of their assets?
2) What is the nature of the debts? Are they all unsecured?
3) Does the household have a regular income? How much?
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