re: Health related anxiety

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My anxiety is because I constantly think I have a deadly disease.

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You need to at least understand this better before you get married.

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My fiancé is basically the only thing getting me through these visits and tests

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Is that fair to her? Is she equipped for that? Women of many types tend to like to absorb trauma so they can "help."

The wedding is never going to be the biggest even of your life. It's when your newborn grabs your finger in the delivery room and you say, "buh bye" to your wife to follow the baby into the other room, while the wife is getting sewn up.

I'm wildly guessing you didn't ask 250 people to go rent tuxes for a black tie wedding. You're in trouble. I'm not saying whose fault it is, but I am leaving breadcrumbs. That's a huge wedding.

If it's money based, say it. With 250, I'm guessing at least $50k. That's stressful AF. But you have to raise the issue honestly. That *is* expressly the stress of being married. I won't ask what the honeymoon is going to cost, but I'm going to bet it's not cheap.

I'm not trying to be an a-hole, but she's "getting you through it," in order to get what she wants, and who she wants there.

On top of whatever health issue you have (I don't know either of you, so not making judgements,) it feels like you're being taken advantage of. Scheduling, attendance lists, etc. I feel like you think your only way out is SSRIs, but the real way out is confrontation with your fiancé. I have -0- idea about your fictious disease, but I don't feel that's the problem. It's your lack of control over massive issues.