re: Pick 5 celebrities to put into a colosseum and fight to the death. Who wins?

quote:

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Stacy Dash

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I'd let her hump me to death.

Hillary Clinton - cellphone and Special Ops team on standby
Barack Obama - ink pen and golf club
Nancy Pelosi - a 1200 pg document that reportedly contains the secret to surviving this ordeal which she had to agree to use without being allowed to read it beforehand.
Diane Feinstein - no weapon because "when the gunman realizes that nobody else is armed, he will lay down his weapons and turn himself in, that's human nature."
Joe Biden -double barrel shotgun
Al Sharpton - a hardbound copy of the complete texts used by blacks when they "taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.”
Jane Fonda a N. Vietnamese infantry helmet and a radio microphone
Caitlyn Jenner a Javelin that can only be used by males
Whoopi Goldberg a laminated race card
Rosie Odonnell a cheeseburger and an obamacare insurance card (she has no right to a gun)





Whoopi kills Rosie because no white person could understand race issues like Whoopi

Whoopi is then killed(with a 9 iron) followed by Sharpton (stabbed with a pen in the chest through his not so thick hardbound book) at the hands of Barack, because of statistically predictable black on black crime.

Joe shoots Barack, not knowing who it is, through his door with both loads of the shotgun when Barrack comes to demand his cooperation.

Pelosi while she is frantically trying to read all the fine print utters "Diane". She is immediately shot by Feinstein who had an illegal concealed pistol and declared "If I am going, I'm taking you with me"

Fonda is busy berating Joe who is half heartedly defending himself by saying "Come on baby, I wasn't there, I dodged the draft" while at the same time trying to hit on Jane.

Hillary beats both Jane and Joe to death with Joes empty gun. Jane because, Hillary can't accept any woman being more shrill than her and Joe because he was the natural successor to the presidency and his womanizing reminded her of Bill.

Jenner realizing he is next throws the javelin and pierces Feinstein's chest. She gets one shot off and manages to hit him in the left boob. The implant decreases penetration and the bullet just enters the left lung. Feinstein dies and Jenner survives.

Realizing she is no match for an ex Olympian who now claims his manhood and yet still has better breasts, legs, and skin, Hillary attempts to get the phone out and call the most lethal weapon in the arena.

She fails to dial in time. As Jenner comes running in with the javelin at the ready, Hillary kicks him right square between the legs but it has no effect. Hillary is stabbed just as the special operator answers the phone. Her last words are "What difference does it make..."



Jenner wins by admitting he is a man and has always been a man.

Ironically his hormone therapy, and surgical changes prior to this event make the life saving efforts of the surgeons too difficult and he dies in the hospital days later from a left lung gunshot wound and a raging yeast infection.







that was fun
The real winner: The United States of America

Who wins? The people who don't give a shite about bullshite hypocritical celebrities.

Donald Trump
Ted Cruz
Ben Carson
Everyone from duck dynasty
Bill O'Reilly

They all lose because I nuke the coliseum but in reality everybody wins