re: Holly Madison reveals hell with Hef in Playboy Mansion

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“‘Would you like a Quaalude?’ Hef asked, leaning toward me with a bunch of large horse pills in his hands, held together by a crumpled tissue,” Madison wrote in her memoir.

After she declined the drugs, “Hef did not miss a beat: ‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said, nonchalantly. ‘Usually, I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills thigh openers.’

“I want to scream ‘PAUSE!’ and freeze-frame that moment of my life. I want to grab that young girl, shake her back into reality and scream, ‘What the hell are you thinking?’” Madison continued.

She ended up spending that night at the Mansion and moved in several weeks later. Though she wrote that there were constantly changing alliances between the girls in the house, Madison later discovered that there was one person controlling them all.

“I learned Hef was the manipulator and that he pitted us against one another,” she noted. “I realized I wasn’t treated well. I’m done being afraid of people. I don’t have any loyalty to Hef. I haven’t talked to him in four years, so there’s no reason to reach out now. Besides, it’s the truth.”

Madison thankfully never signed a non-disclosure agreement, allowing her to leave no stone unturned when penning her memoir. In the sections released to Us, Madison recounts Hefner’s painful emotional abuse she endured when she deigned to get a haircut or wear red lipstick.

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