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The LSU ranter ; Classified for your Convenience
Posted on 9/22/14 at 11:53 am
Posted on 9/22/14 at 11:53 am
The "Casual Fan" Rantard: He hears something somewhere and repeats it breathlessly. You act impressed and slowly back away.
The "Momentary Lapse of Faith" Rantard: This guy loses it, kicks dog, regrets it.
The "Les is an Idiot" Rantard: This guy is functionally illiterate and signs his name with an X.
The "Narrative" Rantard: Latches on to a Narrative and stays with it, no matter where evidence leads. Will stay with Narrative for YEARS hoping it makes a comeback.
The "Napoleon-Complex" Rantard: LSU grows these guys on trees. Sad little man, even if he is 6'6, his Rantardary is based on personal insecurities.
The "Sky is falling" Rantard: Almost everyone has been this guy.
The "High School Legend" Rantard: Asks if you ever played ball. Damn it.
The "Kim Il Saban" Rantard: This guy follows The Dear Leader. Prefers Alabama Tiny Nick to LSU Tiny Nick, and doesn't remember the difference.
The" Winky Dinky Dog Condiment Technician" Rantard: This guy is an underachiever in his personal and professional life. Paradoxically he demands excellenty excellence from others at all times.
The "Argumentative Rantard": This guy just hates everybody. Especially you-if you challenge him.
The "Replace Les with Chuckie" Rantard: His cousin told him that various A list coaches have bought properties on Highland Road and are just waiting for the call.
The "Faux Rantard": This guy is not really an LSU fan. He posts to get a rise out of actual fans. Born in the State of Alabama 59.9% of the time.
The "Influential" Rantard: This guy has evidence, and regularly wins arguments on the merits . Too few of these guys.
The "Call-In" Rantard: This guy calls in to The Les Miles Show, asks a dumb question, and high fives his friends.
The "Clueless" Rantard: Can't give you a single meaningful statistic but is big on the word "sucks".
The "Entitled" Rantard: This guy deserves a National Championship every year.
The "Angry Screamer" Rantard: This guy yells behind you at the game, causing the guy in front of you to challenge him, you get drink spilled on you.
The "Humorless" Rantard: This guy HATES you for finding humor in adversity. Football is deadly-serious business after all.
The "Short View" Rantard: This guy's frame of reference is limited to the last game.
The "Bandwagon" Rantard: Here today, gone tomorrow.
The "Good Old Days" Rantard: Things suck now. Were awesome then. Size 46 waist.
The "Tailgater-only" Rantard: Loves to tailgate, makes snide comments at tailgate because doesn't care about game.
The "Football Expert" Rantard: Devises schemes on napkins. Wife is impressed.
The "STTDB" Rantard: Closely related to the Entitled Rantard, this guy doesn't give a f**k. And you can't make him.
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbanana1.gif)
The "Momentary Lapse of Faith" Rantard: This guy loses it, kicks dog, regrets it.
The "Les is an Idiot" Rantard: This guy is functionally illiterate and signs his name with an X.
The "Narrative" Rantard: Latches on to a Narrative and stays with it, no matter where evidence leads. Will stay with Narrative for YEARS hoping it makes a comeback.
The "Napoleon-Complex" Rantard: LSU grows these guys on trees. Sad little man, even if he is 6'6, his Rantardary is based on personal insecurities.
The "Sky is falling" Rantard: Almost everyone has been this guy.
The "High School Legend" Rantard: Asks if you ever played ball. Damn it.
The "Kim Il Saban" Rantard: This guy follows The Dear Leader. Prefers Alabama Tiny Nick to LSU Tiny Nick, and doesn't remember the difference.
The" Winky Dinky Dog Condiment Technician" Rantard: This guy is an underachiever in his personal and professional life. Paradoxically he demands excellenty excellence from others at all times.
The "Argumentative Rantard": This guy just hates everybody. Especially you-if you challenge him.
The "Replace Les with Chuckie" Rantard: His cousin told him that various A list coaches have bought properties on Highland Road and are just waiting for the call.
The "Faux Rantard": This guy is not really an LSU fan. He posts to get a rise out of actual fans. Born in the State of Alabama 59.9% of the time.
The "Influential" Rantard: This guy has evidence, and regularly wins arguments on the merits . Too few of these guys.
The "Call-In" Rantard: This guy calls in to The Les Miles Show, asks a dumb question, and high fives his friends.
The "Clueless" Rantard: Can't give you a single meaningful statistic but is big on the word "sucks".
The "Entitled" Rantard: This guy deserves a National Championship every year.
The "Angry Screamer" Rantard: This guy yells behind you at the game, causing the guy in front of you to challenge him, you get drink spilled on you.
The "Humorless" Rantard: This guy HATES you for finding humor in adversity. Football is deadly-serious business after all.
The "Short View" Rantard: This guy's frame of reference is limited to the last game.
The "Bandwagon" Rantard: Here today, gone tomorrow.
The "Good Old Days" Rantard: Things suck now. Were awesome then. Size 46 waist.
The "Tailgater-only" Rantard: Loves to tailgate, makes snide comments at tailgate because doesn't care about game.
The "Football Expert" Rantard: Devises schemes on napkins. Wife is impressed.
The "STTDB" Rantard: Closely related to the Entitled Rantard, this guy doesn't give a f**k. And you can't make him.
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbanana1.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconmoon.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbooboo.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbanana1.gif)
Posted on 9/22/14 at 11:55 am to Lsupimp
Best thread ever. Just kidding. Where do you rank on this list?
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:01 pm to Lsupimp
I feel like you missed the extremely delusional sun is always shining Miles supporting rantard. Those are pretty common. The ones that still think Les is hands down the best or 2nd best coach in the SEC despite getting absolutely worked by Mississippi State at home.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:02 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
The "Momentary Lapse of Faith" Rantard: This guy loses it, kicks dog, regrets it.
This is me. Except it's a cat. And I don't regret it....
He's kind of an a-hole.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:06 pm to Lsupimp
Nicely done! Of course, I'm an "Influential" Rantard. It's everyone else that fits in those other categories. ![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:06 pm to Lsupimp
i have been several of those
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:09 pm to Lsupimp
You left out a few on the "other side".
As for me, probably these two
As for me, probably these two
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
quote:
The" Winky Dinky Dog Condiment Technician" Rantard:
quote:
The "Humorless" Rantard:
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:09 pm to Lsupimp
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbow.gif)
Well done, pimp. I guess I'm currently in the grips of a lapse of faith. I don't kick my dog, though.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:14 pm to Lsupimp
Pimp have you been following me?
Posted on 9/22/14 at 12:35 pm to Lsupimp
I am the angry screamer and entitled rantard.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 1:01 pm to Lsupimp
I forgot "The Vaguely-Football-Related Suggestions" Rantard: This guy thinks we should throw the ball "more". But only when we aren't "blitzing more". If that fails "give the ball to Tommy Banks".
Posted on 9/22/14 at 1:13 pm to Lsupimp
I have crowd-related agoraphobia and have never seen an LSU football game in person. I seldom forget anything I've read, for instance, the bladder of a mature African elephant holds 13 gallons of urine, or, a fully grown 500-lb silverback gorilla's penis measures approximately 1 inch.
Are there any more categories?
Are there any more categories?
Posted on 9/22/14 at 2:08 pm to Lsupimp
Im the "influential" rantard on Mondays and i am the "Momentary Lapse of Faith", "Les is an Idiot", "Football Expert", and "Angry Screamer" rantard on Gamedays
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Icondude.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Iconbanana1.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Icongeauxtigers.png)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/Icondude.gif)
Posted on 9/22/14 at 2:11 pm to Lsupimp
I'm a short viewer.
What about "Where Can I Watch the Game in (Insert a City)" Rantard?
What about "Where Can I Watch the Game in (Insert a City)" Rantard?
Posted on 9/22/14 at 2:12 pm to Lsupimp
I am "entitled" and "sky is falling" combo.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 4:42 pm to Lsupimp
quote:Aww, you didn't have to mention me.
The "Influential" Rantard: This guy has evidence, and regularly wins arguments on the merits . Too few of these guys.
Posted on 9/22/14 at 5:13 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
The "Momentary Lapse of Faith" Rantard: This guy loses it, kicks dog, regrets it.
quote:
Sky is falling" Rantard
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