re: My wife is using an app on my 14 yr old sons phone to spy on him.

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This. First off he's a 14 yr old kid that is living under your roof, eating your food, and wearing clothes you bought him. And finally, you bought him that phone and are paying for the service on that bill. That's not his phone. That's your phone that you allow him to use. And he needs to know that you can and will inspect that phone at anytime you choose and without any warning. There should be zero expectancy on their part of being able to hide anything from you. You're their parent, you're not their friend, nor are you simply their landlord.

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THIS X 10000! For those of you who don't have kids or if you do have kids but not a teenager and are saying give them privacy....good luck and start saving money for bail.

By all means you better be involved and have some knowledge as to what you child is doing...it's called good parenting. However, I wouldn't "spy". Like the Vader said, you paid for the phone and everything else they have, you let them know you have the right to check whats on it at any point. My son has a phone and that's the agreement we have. There have been multiple times usually right before dinner we do a "phone check". He goes and gets it and gives it to me. I don't ask for his password, I let him unlock it but I look at all the contents. What he does on his own time is what I hope I have taught him to do the right way.

Botttom line, you better be heavily involved in who and what your kids are doing. Letting the public raise them and influence them won't work but if you think that's the fair thing to do....have fun.