re: Weekend Plans Thread 4/5-4/7*

This weekend is the annual Twin Falls Grizzly Bear Wrestling competition in Twin Falls Idaho. I can proudly say that there was a stretch where I won the thing 8 years in a row. Unfortunately, when I turned 13 they barred me from getting back in the competition. Not just cause it was unfair to the other competitors but also because I was killing too many grizzly bears. They did however hire me on to go out and catch and de-claw the bears that they use in the contest. It pays well and I get to hang around for all the festivities. I’m like a celebrity there. Last year got pretty crazy. I had caught a HUGE arse grizzly and saved him for the last day. The two finalist were newcomer Ox Hendershot and perennial favorite Tank Watkins. Tank went first and got trounced by the big griz. It took only 1 minute 13 seconds for the bear to get him in an arm bar that caused the Tank to tap out. Next up was this new dude Ox who I really didn’t like. All weekend he had been strutting around like he owned the place. And he had these two smoking arse hot double breasted whores on his arm. Not that it concerned me much. I had been taking turns banging Hot Lips Holly Holland and the Brunson triplets since I had been there. As is usually the case when I’m in Twin Falls, I was doing plenty good in the poon department. But even though I wasn’t really looking, I couldn’t help but notice the glances Ox’s two mattress thrashers had been throwing my way. So while the big dumb sumbitch was taping up getting ready for his bout I decided to slip over there and introduce myself. They were polite and introduced themselves back. Haley was the blond and Roxy was the redhead. I asked them why they were hanging out with such a big dumb bastard. They in unison said that it was because he was the baddest grizzly bear wrestler on the planet. I tried not to bust out laughing in their face. But not really. I started laughing my arse off. They took offense and ask me what I thought was so funny. So I told them my story. They didn’t seem to believe me, which was fine. I bid them farewell and went to my seat, with a plan in my mind. Soon the bell rang and the match started. Ox was pretty fricking good. The big grizz charged and Ox threw a rolling hip lock that almost got the bear out of the circle. It would have been instant victory. Instead the agile grizz stayed in, got his composure, and the fight was on. For 2 ½ minutes they went at it. Finally the bear was able to overpower Ox and shove him out the circle. But Ox had shattered Tank Watkins time and had won the prestigious title. His bitches flocked to his side. Meanwhile, the huge grizzly bear was not through fighting. He was manhandling the 2 dozen handlers who were trying to get him back caged up. I saw my chance. I immediately walked up to Ox and kicked him right in the jimmy. He dropped like a sack of shite. His bitches started screaming. I told them to shut the frick up and watch this. I strode through the crowd of bear handlers and made my way to the big grizz. He recognized me at once and I saw the fear in his eyes. He charged. I sidestepped and through a right cross that caught him between the eyes. Knocked him cold as a wedge. I walked back where Ox and the girls were. He was getting up off the ground screaming profanities. I told him to shut the frick up and ask the girls what their intentions were. They, of course, said they would be honored if I would let them take a ride on the Balls express. So they each jumped on an arm and we split the scene leaving Ox to wallow in his bitch arse tears. Can’t wait for this weekend.